Bloody waffly internet recipes!

[YerAWizardHarree]

Wtf? When did this become a bloody thing? Every single recipe I've googled today is accompanied by reems of pointless shit before it.

'Me and Tristan went for a picnic today in a meadow and the smell of the grass reminded me of bbqs we used to have as children so we went home and baked cookies' fucking loads of waffle! I don't want your life story I just want to know how you make cookies. Or how to cook sausages in an air fryer!!

JUST GIVE ME THE RECIPE!!!

That's hilarious cat.

Glad I’m not the only one irritated by this it’s so bloody annoying

Omg this is doing my head in as well. I don't want to read an entire blog post about your grandmother making this recipe for her second cousin in the 1950's or read a load of waffle about where you buy the ingredients from. Just put the bloody recipe at the start so I don't have to scroll for ten minutes to find it!

I watched nigella last week and she was at it. Nigelissima is my most used cookbook but I had to switch off.

Completely and utterly agree

Totally agree. I follow a lot of slimming type pages and they all have a ton of waffle first. I just want the fucking recipe!

If you’re lucky, there’s sometimes a ‘skip to recipe’ button at the top.

If there’s going to be waffle, there should definitely be a skip to recipe button. Always.

Food bloggers take note. Everyone loves a straight to recipe button.

Oh this is my top peeve of late! I was salivating over the thought of making Banh mi as I got fed up of paying £7 a pop and that waffle beforehand on the recipe made me almost give up but my mouth and tummy made my brain see sense.

Even worse when printing and you forget you have to deselect the first 5 pages of crap you don’t want or need

Fucking hell yes!! HOW much scrolling just to even get to the bastard ingredients? No one gives a shit.

As a heavy user of online recipes I have to agree op.

I do wonder if it's a way to make it special or the property of the writer. I only say this because I've seen the same recipes replicated on different sites and some seem to have originated with well known recipe writers. I don't think that's true for everyone, but it might explain some.

I just scroll down and ignore all the extra stuff, but it is annoying. Also what feels like a million recipes, but all having the same or similar spice mixes.

I do love the Easy Peasie Foodie site though and use it a lot. Has the same issues, but I do like the recipes and many are one pan meals, which I love.

I am on the fence. If I'm reading a food blog to read then I actually do care about the background and the story and maybe some blurb about why it's best done this easy. If I'm in the market for a macaroni cheese recipe then just give me the recipe. But I find most blogs are pretty good at having a 'skip to the recipe' button, or it being visually clear what is fluff and what is recipe. What I find more annoying is when it's all spread out and very little fits on the screen. If I'm cooking I want to minimise touching my phone.
The other problem with a lot of it it's not great writing and all sounds the same. Too many people write in this blog voice rather than their own. And I don't need a side order of emotion and memory with everything!

It's a big problem with internet recipes. I have to decode and type them out as Ingredients/Utensils/Method - the way I was taught at school in the early seventies. Just had to do that for a glorious chocolate cake dgd made this morning, to be her birthday cake tomorrow ( she'll be nine). It gives us chance to adapt the recipes though, and make a shopping list specific to the task.

I will admit to liking cup measurements. My daughter only managed to make emergency gingerbread men last night because I told her to look for a recipe with cups. She doesn't own kitchen scales.

Scrolling through pages of twee life story gets on my tits. It's why I ignore food blogs and stick to All Recipes UK.

@StealthPolarBear

Love this thread and that tweet Yes American recipes drive me mad Birthday cake, you will need

• 1 box white cake mix

Etc

When i went to San Diego i went in to a really lovely bookshop looking for baking books and all of them had "take a box of cakemix" drives me mad and also agree with OP about waffle.

I'm with Daffodil. I love Rachel Roddy in Rome for example, because the description (and remember she is writing about food in its social and cultural context) gives real meaning to the piece. Some writers who talk about similar and offer extra tips (brown the onions, in the old days this was done this way) are really interesting. The breathless 'so good', 'so yummy' ones with the pointless waffle ... not so much.

Elizabeth David and Jane Grigson wrote about the social and cultural context of food as well as providing receipes - their writing is excellent.

My eldest son has told me something about youtube videos. They have to be 10 minutes or over for a specific reason I have forgotten. It's about funding or advertising (income anyway).

Might explain the waffling videos. Still annoying.

Just as bad are the comments from people who haven’t actually made the recipe. ‘Looks so yummy!’
Who cares?
Comment when you’ve made it and no you can’t substitute the sugar for beans!

I was ranting to DH about this last night. I JUST WANTED THAT BLOODY SOUP RECIPE!! But no. I had to scroll and scroll through a load of guff I had no interest in.

So what if you were reminded of the times you used to visit granny and her neighbour's cousin's third wife used to make this for you and it gave you great comfort....

I DON'T CARE.

@BawJaws

Although reading that typo-riddled post.... maybe I am worth buttons anyway!!’

I wasn't going to say anything....

@lidoshuffle

Total agree. Also irritating are (usually American) recipes, for say Thai green curry, the ingredients of which are '4 chicken breasts, 1 onion and a can of X Brand Thai green curry sauce".

Yes! This too. Soooo many "tasty homemade recipes" I've been excited to try right up to the bit that says "box of brownie mix", "box of cookie dough" or add in XX curry paste. If I wanted to buy it in, I'd phone up the takeaway or go to Tesco, not trawl the internet looking for recipes.

If you don't like waffle avoid Jack Monroe recipes

Apparently part of the reason is because you cannot copyright the recipe itself, only the blurb at the beginning

I was only thinking this yesterday. I have zero interest in someone’s life story half of which is just pretentious waffling. Just tell me how to make the thing! If I click on a recipe and there is loads of waffle I just keep googling till I find a simple version of what I’m looking for!

My people! I hate being presented with loads of waffle about their inspiration, all the things they tried etc. Just give the recipe already! Note, I cook because I need to eat not because I am a foodie so possibly not the target audience....

I also skip videos for any cooking or tutorials - I get some people like them but I just want simple written words and no banging on.

I do like cups though - especially for recipes like muffins. So simple. Except when a recipe asks for a cup of butter - how tightly am I supposed to pack it? Does it matter if there are air gaps?