Bloody waffly internet recipes!

[YerAWizardHarree]

Wtf? When did this become a bloody thing? Every single recipe I've googled today is accompanied by reems of pointless shit before it.

'Me and Tristan went for a picnic today in a meadow and the smell of the grass reminded me of bbqs we used to have as children so we went home and baked cookies' fucking loads of waffle! I don't want your life story I just want to know how you make cookies. Or how to cook sausages in an air fryer!!

JUST GIVE ME THE RECIPE!!!

There's often a tiny clicky link that says 'jump to recipe' on those type of bloggy recipes

I hate this, and agree with @lidoshuffle the recipes (that are always American) that say, 3 boxes of white cake mix and tub of icing. That's not a recipe, stop pretending it is.

there's a site I use from time to time like this - one or two recipes are really good and worth going back to.
Fortunately the author recognises that no one is interested in her waffley crap (not waffle recipes, I wonder if she has those?) - and there is a fairly prominent "go straight to the recipe" button at the top of the page.

the waffle is probably there to provide more advertising opportunities.

Love this thread and that tweet
Yes American recipes drive me mad
Birthday cake, you will need

• 1 box white cake mix

Etc

It's exactly the same with sewing and knitting related things. They bang on about their life stories while I just want to learn how to do Kitchener Stitch (or whatever). I usually watch with the sound turned off and fast forward when there's no action. I suppose you can't do that with recipes.

Empty cake mix into large mixing bowl from box
Follow further instructions from side of box

I thought I was the only one

BBC recipe site is usually quite good at avoiding the crappy "living my best life" aka "I am a complete twit" stories

What I always find baffling is that the recipe is always there twice. Once with the blogger waffling their way though it with pictures, product promotion etc and another time with jist the recipe card.

@StealthPolarBear

Love this thread and that tweet Yes American recipes drive me mad Birthday cake, you will need

• 1 box white cake mix

Etc

It always bugged me in friends when Monica, A TRAINED CHEF, used box macaroni kits. A CHEF.

American food standards somehow are below the floor.

It is for the ad revenue. The longer the content the more time you spend on the page. I can’t begrudge anyone creating free content an income.

I joined a Facebook group for Slow Cooker recipes but left immediately. A chicken and a packet of soup is not recipe.

Also hate American recipes that are full of cups instead of weights- is that a dainty teacup, or a pint mug?
I get that if you use the same size cup for everything, the ratios will be OK (except for eggs), but not great for portion control.

Yanbu OP. First thing I do is look for the “jump to recipe” link!

I think you're being a bit unreasonable. It's the modern equivalent of passing recipes from word of mouth so you can the pleasure of shouting "just give me the bloody recipe Gladys and stop waffling on" without worrying the website will refuse to hand over the recipe, walk off in a huff and proceed to blacken your name thoughout your town

@EveryDayIsADuvetDay

Also hate American recipes that are full of cups instead of weights- is that a dainty teacup, or a pint mug? I get that if you use the same size cup for everything, the ratios will be OK (except for eggs), but not great for portion control.

@EveryDayIsADuvetDay It's a measurement rather than an actual cup or mug. You need to get yourself a set of measuring cups Just checked ours and a cup is 250ml.

Also hate American recipes that are full of cups instead of weights- is that a dainty teacup, or a pint mug?

There are standard measuring cups. One cup is 250ml and sets are widely available. I actually really like recipes in cups for things like rice, flour etc. They’re excellent for baking. It’s the “2 cups of chopped onion” ones that fox me because I can’t picture how many whole onions I need to buy and often end up with far too many/nowhere near enough. I’m with you on the sticks of butter and as for boxes of cake mix being in a recipe? No no no.

I love the “go straight to recipe” links. I use my phone while cooking to keep the recipe open so I’m on the site for a decent amount of time.

@FlaviaAlbiaWantsLangClegBack

I think you're being a bit unreasonable. It's the modern equivalent of passing recipes from word of mouth so you can the pleasure of shouting "just give me the bloody recipe Gladys and stop waffling on" without worrying the website will refuse to hand over the recipe, walk off in a huff and proceed to blacken your name thoughout your town

Whenever I have asked someone for a recipe, they have always just written it down. No extraneous guff attached.

I hate this. I just figured it was to increase advertising impressions and SEO? Tis a load of shit though. And is always accompanied by photos of a pile of food and the manicured blogger clutching a cup of something frothy. 🙄

I love cup measurements! Makes things so easy. Especially when you’re using oil to make muffins.

I agree with waffly recipes! So dull.

I live in NI. No recipe comes without a story attached

@EveryDayIsADuvetDay

Also hate American recipes that are full of cups instead of weights- is that a dainty teacup, or a pint mug? I get that if you use the same size cup for everything, the ratios will be OK (except for eggs), but not great for portion control.

A cup is actually a standard measurment:

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cup_(unit)

US cups are pretty similar to metric cups, and you can buy a set of measuring cups from lots of UK brands which are usually metric cups. That said, I usually google 'what does a cup of flour/rice/couscous weigh?'

I have found my people.

BUT

I see your recipes and raise the epic Youtube DIY instructional videos:

H there..My name is Bob and you might remember me from my earlier interminable bollocks about how to to change a fucking lightbulb.
Waal, as you can see, things have moved on here at the Ponderosa.....

Get on with it!

Oh yes, it's a right pain.

One of the reasons I can't tolerate advice videos. Drive me nuts- hours of pointless waffle before getting to the point.

😂 cross post about videos. Exactly echt!!