To ask what’s the most toe curling OTT boast/showing off you’ve heard from a parent about their child?

[Rainbowb]

Just seen a FB post from a mum friend boasting about her 9yo daughter doing online dance and gym sessions via zoom and practising for her 11 plus complete with picture of said child sat at her desk and smiling for the camera. Hope the child gets time to chill out now and then! Mum obviously needs us all to believe her daughter is a high achiever! It was so cringy though and I wondered if anyone else out there was biting their lip at stuff like this?!

Boasting about an absolutely AMAZING parents evening she had been to for her kid. Her kid at nursery. Who was about 18 months.

I couldnt even believe the nursery has a parents evening what a ridiculous carry on. At that age you should be suited they aren't biting chunks out of the other kids and have a nice time.

I think it all depends on how the boasting is done, but my sister seems to have a complete fantasy narrative where her (now grown-up) daughter is concerned. She’s always been brilliant, whatever my children did, DN did better.

Always top of her year, in the scholarship stream, playing county level sport, fantastic at riding (my dd having to reschool dn’s horse is glossed over) and on and on.

We take everything now with a huge pinch of salt. One comment has gone down in family history: “ oh she didn’t go to Cambridge because the course at ( insert decidedly non Russell group uni) is sooo much better.”

Another classic was I’d been to a concert given by the pupils at Chetham’s School of Music, and was selling dsis how superb it and the children where. Apparently dn had been advised to sit for a scholarship there, so wonderful was her flute playing, but dsis thought it was too young to specialise. No one in the family were aware she’d even played the flute.

Despite her mother dn is a delightful person. I think what grates most is dsis’ lack of pleasure at any other child’s achievements,; one of my children is academic, did win a scholarship to an public school for the 6th form (having been entirely state educated up to then) and is now at Oxford. All my dsis could say “ so she should have done considering what they charge” and that was it.

Most hilarious boast was at a preschool group singing session, when the leader announced that 'Sleeping Bunnies' was next, and one of the mums said very loudly to her child, "We've already sung this in FRENCH today darling, haven't we?!" Snort.

Most toe-curling boasts are from two FB friends who just can't stop posting about how wonderful their kids are. Not just about their achievements, but how thoughtful/generous etc they are. There's nothing wrong with being proud of your child, of course, but boasting about how they are donating their pocket money to charity is just so unbelievably cringey. I wonder if they consult their kids about whether they really want this shit (+ endless photos) plastered online as they get older.

The very worst was during lockdown when both of these friends shared videos/diaries their kids had made of their 'lockdown experiences'... as if no one else is going through this! Seriously, who cares?

This thread has made me laugh so much, especially your posts @Gancanny. It is hilarious that you recognised yourself in another post...I always wonder if that happens much on MN. And your mini Begbie....

I had a cold a few years ago and was chatting to another parent. I mentioned that my DH had caught my cold but my DC seemed fine. I jokily commenting “they must have immune systems like lions”, to which the Mum replied “my children have EXCELLENT immune systems”. Ok...

Sometimes, as a parent, you have to take your amusements where you can find them though.

DH is Catholic, but had to transport other kids round the county for sports on Sunday, so I (agnostic C of E) got stuck with going to dc4’s first holy communion classes. I did get a kick out of teaching my six year old about transubstantiation... Yes, I probably looked like the pretentious parent who was going to boast about her child’s knowledge of divinity.

@SuperAlly

“Look at ***, leader of the pack again” because her six year old daughter happened to be walking two steps ahead of her pals 😕

@SuperAlly

I wonder if our kids go to the same school as I've heard this too she also thinks her child is a leader because she's "confident" when actually she's just a loud gobshite

@BurningEars

At age seven, precious daughter is making all her own clothes. Yeah, sure.

My DD made her own gloves by poking 5 holes in a pair of socks. Does that count

A 4 year old who was already excellent at swimming full butterfly stroke for multiple lengths

A 4 year old who wept with dismay when he found out his new nursery wouldn't be teaching him phonics, he just loved to read so much.

Same 4 year old could count and do addition to 100 at the age of 2 and his teacher took his mother aside to tell her it was a privilege to have such an advanced child in her class.

The 4 year old is an average pleasant but fairly whiny little chap tbh, no exceptional abilities displayed whenever I see him

I remember a friend from another country once telling me she finds sports day at her children's private school just so so weird. No one cheers the kids on and half the time they act like they aren't even watching. She said she is always the weird woman yelling for her children, her children's team, her children's friends, the child who's coming last but really trying etc. She can't get her head around this attitude that we shouldn't be celebrating the children's achievements, whether that's a win or just successfully completing the course

My DC are in private school and I find the total opposite. Parents practically frothing at the mouth shouting "Come on Crispin!" blocking everyone else's view.

Maybe your friend's school is like the one in Motherland where they are allowed to cheer on

@SpaceOP

No kid will ask for sushi over pizza, so this means SIL clearly planned this and pulled nephew aside beforehand and told him what to say. Pathetic, really.

I was going along with this story, agreeing the child was rude and the parent should have been embarrassed not proud, until the above sentence. Of course a child might prefer sushi to pizza. Or a child might have internalised the idea that at a party sushi is a better choice because that's what their parents have at parties. Or perhaps the child has started worrying about health etc and knows that sushi is better. (plus, if the child is anything like my DS, "sushi" may be eaten at a restaurant that serves raw fish but mostly he's eating the dumplings, the avocado rolls and the deep fried squid! It's all "sushi" to him).

My DC would prefer sushi over pizza but they certainly wouldn't turn their nose up at pizza at a party and they'd never be so rude

A "friend" on my fb boasts about her two adopted DD's all the time and espically like's to take photos of them in they're private school (very well known school) uniform. Takes pictures of the fancy teepee party's she does for them and they're friends. But what she doesn't like to boast about and put on fb is the fact her and her dh bought the 9 year old a BB gun for her birthday and how police turned up at they're door to tell them the DD's 9&10 had been sending nudes to someone on tictok and that they are so embarrassed that the neighbours saw police at they're door and now they are selling up and moving. But when she puts the right move link on fb and all her friends ask why they are selling they're beautiful house she just Says they fancy a change of scenery

Even if it’s the truth people need to read the room. If your friend is telling you how worried she is about her emotionally young, academically struggling child who’s being assed for SEN going to secondary you don’t steam in with an anecdote about how your child aced the 11plus and is now going to a super selective. (I wasn’t either parent here, I was a third person in the conversation open mouthed at the lack of sensitivity).

@justleavemebe

Why does it matter that the DDs are Adopted?

@SpaceOP

While a few of these are clearly weird batshit parents (the first tooth one made me laugh though), most just seem like normal parental pride, including the OP. Why shouldn't a parent post about child working on things online?

I assume you're sneering at "resilience" because clearly her son is too stupid to get anything else? Well, as a parent whose child has had to build resilience because it's true, he's never going to win the English, Maths or Science prize and everything is much harder for him, believe me, I've been pretty damn proud of him when the teachers tell me that his determination and resilience are impressive.

Personally, I don't put stuff like this up online, but I can easily imagine myself mentioning such things to people in passing if we're talking about the DC. Why is it not allowed to be proud?

I remember a friend from another country once telling me she finds sports day at her children's private school just so so weird. No one cheers the kids on and half the time they act like they aren't even watching. She said she is always the weird woman yelling for her children, her children's team, her children's friends, the child who's coming last but really trying etc. She can't get her head around this attitude that we shouldn't be celebrating the children's achievements, whether that's a win or just successfully completing the course.

It’s not about being proud of the children though. It’s about parents showing off their genes or parenting. And no one likes a show off. And pride is one of the deadly sins for a reason. And it’s good manners not to make other people feel uncomfortable.. You can certainly tell others of your child’s achievements as long as it’s their achievements - not to broadcast the fact that you’ve paid for private education or that you’ve given up every week night to drive them to practise.

It so be thing to like sushi or prefer it to pizza but quite another to demand it at a party!

I have an old school friend who posted pictures on FB every single day of lockdown 1 of her DCs doing their home schooling, out for their walks, their first McDonalds once they reopened... really mundane stuff that everyone else was also doing but she was #soproud.

DS started year 7 at a grammar school this year and there’s another boy from our village who also started. He doesn’t need a boasting parent because he can do so perfectly well himself! At the start of the year, before restrictions got tighter and tighter, we did a bit of lift sharing and he was a big fan of monologues telling us how amazing he is. It’s a 25 minute journey so I was glad of the excuse to stop the lift sharing! Particular highlights were, “I’m glad I went to the grammar school as it’s confirmed that I am really clever, I was just under taught in my primary school” and “No offended to you (DS) but I’ll probably be far ahead in music as I have a natural gift. I can just play anything by sight, I don’t know how I do it, I just can. (Someone’s name) says he’s never seen anyone who’s such a natural”. He’s also offered to let me read his autobiography when it’s finished...

@EvaporatedHour

I don't mind the brags on social media, but I can't stand competitive parents that do a double whammy brag but put your child down simultaneously.

Years ago when my youngest child was a baby I met up with a woman a few times, from a meet a mum type online forum, who had a baby a week older than DS.

She was probably the rudest, most competitive parent I've ever come across. Literally every time she opened her mouth there was a sting in the tail about my DS, or about my older DCs. Everything they did was apparently so much better/cleverer/more advanced/more classy than anything my kids did.

There are so many examples of things she said, and they were all tiny things but they just all added up together to make a load of competitive poison really. I remember once she asked me about a drama club my eldest child attended and I said they were doing a performance of a certain play and she did a really nasty laugh and said 'Oh the drama club my older DCs go to would never perform that play, but then their club is so expensive '

Also nasty comments about baby DS, said passive aggressively to him 'Oooh does mummy not like you today, making you wear those trousers?' and 'Oooh goodness me, look at you with a biscuit, little Daniel (her kid, not his real name obvs) is wondering what on earth you're eating as he only likes his organic vegetables as snacks'

Vile bitch!

This is sounding very familiar, I had a similar acquaintance and it was....tiring. The best was when I offered her toddler DD a babybel at a picnic and the mother piped up very loudly, whilst looking around to make sure the whole park was listening “OH, NO, DD WOULDN’T KNOW WHAT TO DO WITH A BABYBEL, SHE ONLY EATS BRIE OR MATURE CHEDDAR”

My mums neighbour said her DGC was recommended by early years practitioner to leave nursery as ‘the other children were holding him back’

@justleavemebe

A "friend" on my fb boasts about her two adopted DD's all the time and espically like's to take photos of them in they're private school (very well known school) uniform. Takes pictures of the fancy teepee party's she does for them and they're friends. But what she doesn't like to boast about and put on fb is the fact her and her dh bought the 9 year old a BB gun for her birthday and how police turned up at they're door to tell them the DD's 9&10 had been sending nudes to someone on tictok and that they are so embarrassed that the neighbours saw police at they're door and now they are selling up and moving. But when she puts the right move link on fb and all her friends ask why they are selling they're beautiful house she just Says they fancy a change of scenery

This is why you teach kids that SM is "fake news"

@HallieKnight

I'm confused. You think parents should keep their kid a secret and never talk to them in public?

Yes you do seem to be confused!

I was waiting to go into a parents evening, it was the end of reception so kids were 4 or 5. One mother comes out and loudly says, "I'm giving up on John (not his real name) he's a lost cause. I'm just going to concentrate on his sister."

I know boasters can be annoying but I'd put up with any boaster rather than that.

@Spied

An acquaintance of mine who was forever trying to make out her son was superior to my son started gushing about her son winning the 'Resilience' award one year at school. I didn't bother trying to explain, simply smiled and patted myself on the back that my DS hadn't won it.

Aw that's mean. Good for him. Resilience is a really important characteristic.

@BlueCheckedTeatowel

Someone I used to work with constantly posts things on facebook about her eldest son. When he was 3 she was reading the "origin of species" by charles darwin to him and he could tell you the theory of evolution apparently. Also he has a "cutting wit", is incredibly clever for his age. She is always chronicling his adventures of how he stands up to adults that treat him like a child and how he "simpers" and "chortles" at adults that are academically below him and "quips" things to them when it sounds like theyre just being nice. Like on the vein of...once in a restaurant a waitress began telling him what childrens meals they had and he sneered, laughed at her and asked for humus and tofu because causing a demand for nuggets is bad for the planet, which she wouldnt understand as she was a waitress. (not exact story but similar and he was about 4 so it just didnt happen). I think in her head this makes him sound grown up and cool but he just sounds obnoxious if its true.

I would delete her but we see one another at work events occasionally and I wouldnt want to be on her bad side as shes utterly batshit and likes to make stories up about previous colleagues / bosses / everyone she comes into contact with. She has 3 children by 3 fathers (no issue with that, issue coming up...) and has stopped all of them seeing the children as she says they are abusive to her. Yet whenever a new one comes on the scene the children are calling him dad and she refers to them constantly by the new boyfriends surname. its then all "The Jones kids at legoland" and "The Jones's go out for dinner" posts. I have no idea how legal she makes it but she then goes on a rampage about how the school wont change the surname, because its clearly above their intellect and she will change her childrens surnames whenever she likes. every time.

Wow! I couldn’t unfollow either, it’s so awful it’s addictive

A mum I know cut her child’s hours at nursery as none of the other children had his language skills and it was too boring for him having no one to talk to on his level. At 2 years old.

@justleavemebe

A "friend" on my fb boasts about her two adopted DD's all the time and espically like's to take photos of them in they're private school (very well known school) uniform. Takes pictures of the fancy teepee party's she does for them and they're friends. But what she doesn't like to boast about and put on fb is the fact her and her dh bought the 9 year old a BB gun for her birthday and how police turned up at they're door to tell them the DD's 9&10 had been sending nudes to someone on tictok and that they are so embarrassed that the neighbours saw police at they're door and now they are selling up and moving. But when she puts the right move link on fb and all her friends ask why they are selling they're beautiful house she just Says they fancy a change of scenery

Why did you specify that they're adopted?