UC, housing benefit and a partner wanting to move in

[notfromstepford]

Hello wise mumsnetters
I have a question that I'm sure someone will be able to answer. I have been trawling the internet but a lot of the advice seems to be from a few years ago.

I'll try to keep this brief.

My DSD has just been offered her first house through the council and is ecstatic. She has 1 child that is 1.5 years and is expecting her 2nd child anyday. She's not working (was a driver before COVID) so is entitled to UC, housing benefit and all the other bits and pieces she can claim.
The father of her children is somewhat unreliable, so she's done all of her applications etc as a lone parent - which she essentially is.

Now she's got a fantastic house for her and her children - he's convinced that it's absolutely fine for him to move in and make a go of it. He works. I've told her that if he moves in - it won't be for free. They will deduct housing benefit and UC from her as they will be living as a couple and he has to pay his way (rightly so) - it's not a "free" house for him to live in.

My understanding is that her benefits will be reduced but it's up to him if he is going to give her the money to cover the shortfall? Is that correct? Also as he earns between £300 - £400 a week - her benefit will be cut by around £100 a week.

Does this sound about right? Like I say I've been trawling the internet and pieced together bits and pieces from different sites, but not found anything concrete.

I think I get it. Some guys are difficult to get rid of. They never take no for an answer, so OPs daughter is looking for some cast iron logic to help put him off and relieve the pressure he is putting on her.

@Berthatydfil

If she doesn’t want him to move in for what ever reason that’s enough. She doesn’t need reasons or justification. No that’s not happening is enough. She can just say to him “our relationship is over I don’t want to live with you under any circumstances although I will not stand in the way of your relationship with the children and I will of course be expecting you to provide for the children financially. Good bye.”

If he is as bad with £ as you say she should get onto cms as well.

Agree

She’d lose all of her own benefits as it’d become a joint claim.

Why is this even a question?! She doesn’t want him to move in, he can’t force her to let him, so just say no, set up child maintenance and carry on.

Ask your DSD to do the Freedom Programme to help her get rid of him for good.

She can hand on heart tell him that he would need to pay all the rent and council tax so he would be worse off.

She will also need to be vigilant that he doesn't try and move in by stealth. I would suggest that she only lets him come around to visit the newborn when other people are there and he can take the toddler out and about...

So he's unreliable, bad with money, and an emotionally abusive alcoholic by the sounds of it.

Regardless of any issue relating to housing or benefits, she should be staying as far away from him as possible, not moving him in "for the sake of the children". They'll thank her far more for protecting them than they will for subjecting them to him.

@HogwartsForever11

Not sure I’d be “ecstatic” about having to get a council house paid for by those of us who work

You are not paying for anything to do with council housing, so get off your high horse.

The last council house was built decades ago and has long since been paid back by rent receipts into the council's housing coffers, paid by previous occupants. Council house rent for those who cannot pay is paid for by all the council house tenants who do pay (a far larger number than those who don't pay) through a subsidy being placed on top of their rent calculation.
Plus council housing is funded locally. By the way, the upkeep, planned improvement programmes and repair bill is funded locally too, before you claim you pay for that too.

So unless you are a council tenant, who pays and lives local to the claimant, you pay nothing towards it.

The number of people on here who claim their little bit of tax pays for everything really pisses me off. I swear some people think they are keeping the entire benefit system going, single handed.

Freedom programme is a great idea - thank you - I didn't think of that.

As a single mother who was made homeless through domestic abuse and has given up trying to find suitable housing (therefore have regressed back to living with my parents) this really pisses me off.

This.
I am wondering if DSD has been living with you / her parents after leaving him, and he is putting the pressure on her to get back to him.

was she living with him previously and left?

People seem to have little understanding here of domestic abuse, and with a heavy drinker who is pressurising her, and who burns through all his wages by Sunday, the indication here is that he may not be the best of dad's and its taken quite alot for her to leave.

In order to have been allocated a house that quickly, she must have been declared homeless, and the MOST common and likely scenario (esp with guilt tripping twat on the scene) is she fled due to domestic abuse.

But yes, lets all blame her for playing the system

Not sure why you're getting such a hard time here tbh, direct your SD to the entitledto website so she can work out what she'll be entitled to with and without his wage. She may actually still be entitled to housing, child and personal allowance with his wage being that low for the family. Whether he will hand any money over to the family though, only she knows.

I agree she should also makes sure she claims maintenance through CMS (although they are pretty useless!£

There's a huge difference in entitlement between earnings of £300 and £400. On the former they will get some UC. On the latter very little or nothing. If they are not together what will His status be? A lodger. This will have implications too. Will it be a joint claim? Your DD sounds very naive as to the way things work.

Tell her that she should ABSOLUTELY NOT allow him to move in.

No way.

How much maintenance is he paying her?

I know benifits Quite well (no longer on them yay) so not knowing your DSD age she'll get either
342 herself or 409 2 DC 520 then her HB as it's social she'll get all covered and or minus bedroom tax, so let's call it £1200 for odds
Say her Ex moved in they'll get an extra 100 or 194 depending if he and or her are over 25
So let's say 1400 for over 25!
Wages are worked out At wage - 292 x 0.63
So he earns £350 a week so they'd get 8-900 taken away from benifits so theyd be left with £400 which seems a lot but if he isn't using his wages to contribute to the house then that's buttons to provide for a family with a newborn and housing costs
Hope that helps
Also I have been in a very similar situation EXp refused to pay fair share took a very long time to see through his lies but I'm much better off on my own it was very emotionally draining ended in debt xx

broken fucking Britain

Fucking hell.

My neighbour is a dentist and she claims help from the state. She claims to be a single mother but we all know her partner still lives there.

Careful he doesnt spend it all. My ex forced me to claim as a single mum because he didnt want to support me financially and even made it difficult for me to work.

Apart from the obvious point that he shouldn't move in if she doesn't want him to...

Something I had never thought of til my low waged family member moved in with his partner who is a full time carer for her children with additional needs is that you can't just change a claim from one adult to two adults. You have to stop the single adult claim.anf then start a fresh one. This can take a few weeks, during which time you won't have an income (except the waged partner's wages). So you need to save up ahead of the partner moving in, to cover the shortfall.
But that is only if you actually want the other person to move into your home !

Entitledto.co.uk calculates what people would likely get. It's pretty accurate and the DWP recommend it

your step daughter should not be moving this man in. if shes young (sounds like she is) then I get the want for it to be happy families with her kids dad but he sounds useless and grabby. he wants to be with her so he can get into a house, not for the kids or her sake. it's a shame that alone isnt enough for her to tell him to do one.

there are benefits calculators online that can tell her roughly how much she will be entitled to, both with his wage and without.

She will have substantially reduced benefits. The state will see the money he earns as belonging to the family unit. From what you write, he is likely to spend it all drinking and whatever else he does. Your DSD will have no money to cover the bills, food etc for the kids.

She is best to get rid, claim maintenance from him through CMS, raise her kids to her best, be open to them seeing the father (if he wants) and finding herself a new man in the future who is actually nice.

Get off your high horses some of you.

This is a young woman whose partner is likely abusive given his alcohol issues. She's fallen for him and has or will have two children.

What about supporting the OP who is trying to help her SD avoid moving him in.

Stop hoiking your judgy knickers so high and start supporting the OP who has done nothing wrong.

Honestly get them knickers out from under your armpits.

OP help your SD by showing her the entitledto.com website and point out that the unreliable partner will likely remain so.

He can still see his children.

She's obviously been the product of a home whwre parents separated and she's in love with the dream of a family. Thing is its unlikely to happen with this man. Help her to say no to him moving in.

She needs to develop a backbone and better taste in men, especially now she has children. She’ll lose the security she has gained for them for the illusion of a partner.
When it all goes tits up, will you bail her out?

What does her dad think about this, and how helpful is he prepared to be? Does she have any friends who might help her see sense?
So many children with fucked-up parents who don’t prioritise them.

@Love51

That's partially incorrect.
Report change if circumstances. DWP close single claim and set up new joint claim.
Existing payment date is retained.