SIL's kids always look immaculate!

[rabbitheadlights]

LC with MIL for lots of reasons not really relevant here, but every time we speak to MIL she makes a point of saying oohh" DSis sent a picture of the kids they always look immaculate" or ohh"saw gc's through the window, on a bus, at the end of the garden.... They always look so immaculate". For context my DC beer look immaculate unless within 3mins of them actually getting ready for the day, invariably one fallls and scuffs a knee, pulls their tights, squishes Jaffa cake all over there faces!!
It just feels like a dig?
I don't know why it's getting to me but it is, I probably need to get over myself don't I?

I don't think it's a dig at you, but something she finds remarkable and aspirational for her own reasons.

Some people just seem to be the kind of people who stay clean and tidy. I don’t know how they do it. They were probably immaculate toddlers too.

When I was at high school I was partnered with this kind of girl for home ec. She would arrive looking immaculate in every way. And she’s finish the cookery lesson equally immaculate. I’d finish it covered on egg and flour and so on. My friends and I just could never work out how she stayed so clean. She probably thought we were useless nightmares.

There are just some people who can, for example, wear tights and not have them ever ladder. And then there’s me, whose tights seem to ladder no matter what I do. I am just not one of life’s graceful, immaculate people. And neither are my children.

My grans generation put a lot of store in how 'well turned out' people's children were. It was a mark of respectability along with if you had donkey stoned your doorstep that week, swept your front path, hung your (very white) net curtains out properly etc etc. It was just a social expectations thing. Irrelevant in these days of washing machines, different family rhythms, both parents working etc etc. I wonder what social hang ups we'll carry into our old age which the young generation will just be about.

My sister in law and I joked that when my mother in law actually visited her son and daughter in law and their kids in NZ, our kids would never be able to do anything right. In the event, our kids turned into the golden children, when she came home and talked about all the things she'd hated about the NZ kids.
Personally, I'd look on immaculate kids as not something good. Kids are meant to get dirty sometimes!

[quote rabbitheadlights]@whatsonmymindgrapes

Where have I been mean? Actually is that you MIL? realised it's mean to treat gc's differently?[/quote]
You have judged your SILs parenting, making botching comments about her activities or making them eat at the table. It’s not your SILs fault your MIL has favourites. That’s what’s mean.

Bitchey*

@Mumisnotmyonlyname

It isn't necessarily a dig. People say these odd things without thinking about whether they matter or how they are perceived.

Yep. Without the backstory I wouldn't necessarily take it as a dig. For all we know MIL might be saying it and thinking 'weird, isn't it?'

It's a MIL thing again (until the further posts). Everyone assumed it was a dig. I had a friend whose kids were always immaculate. I probably said as much to mutual friends. It didn't mean I was having a dig at those friends.

@rabbitheadlights How do you manage not to say something like "Yes, they do look immaculate. Maybe that's why they get favoured with Christmas and birthday presents when mine don't?" I probably wouldn't say that but I would certainly be thinking it!

Aside from that, I'd pretty much ignore any comments that are supposed to be a snide tacit criticism of your children. Nasty remarks say more about the speaker than anyone else. What else can you expect from a pig but a grunt?

I find it very hard to look polished and clean too. Even in a nice outfit I arrive with laddered tights or windswept hair. I'm a natural scruff I think and it's not helped by my short and sturdy build as I can never pull off a dainty and elegant look. I am quite envious of people who are "well turned out" looking and judged as more competent and adulty than us scruffs.

I was once the immaculate child and I can tell you it’s no fun. I remember vividly being on my Primary 7 school trip (I was 10/11) and we were on an activities break and were on a hiking trip up the hills in Scotland. My friends were all jumping in mud and having so much fun and I stood back watching them because I was scared to get my clothes dirty

My kid's physio made a comment about how "immaculate" he always looked-his clothes matched and always clean-to be fair she meant it as a complementary comparison to her son same age/clothes but I sure wished my poor boy could physically run around and play in the mud but sadly his physical limitations prevented that. Sometimes it's not a dig