SIL's kids always look immaculate!

[rabbitheadlights]

LC with MIL for lots of reasons not really relevant here, but every time we speak to MIL she makes a point of saying oohh" DSis sent a picture of the kids they always look immaculate" or ohh"saw gc's through the window, on a bus, at the end of the garden.... They always look so immaculate". For context my DC beer look immaculate unless within 3mins of them actually getting ready for the day, invariably one fallls and scuffs a knee, pulls their tights, squishes Jaffa cake all over there faces!!
It just feels like a dig?
I don't know why it's getting to me but it is, I probably need to get over myself don't I?

I can imagine a few generations ago dirty clothes must have made a mother's heart sink, seeing as washing was hard labour and a lot of people only had 'one to wash and one to wear', but we have washing machines and fancy washing powders these days FFS.

That's probably why Victorian children often wore pinnies over their clothes.

To counter some of the posts. My children usually look immaculate when I take them out or if people visit. I like to make an effort. However, despite them having nice clothes, neat hair etc, do not give a jot about them getting ruining their clothes or getting dirty. My kitchen is covered in paint,glitter and play dough. It's not always the case that a well dressed/presented child is not allowed to do those things or get dirty. Nor is it the case that a dirty child is a happy child. It's not always black and white.

God my two boys take their clothes off before I can catch them, paint themselves, play in mud and always have some muck or food in their hair. One boy in particular just enjoys being messy and I can't keep him presentable for mere seconds. Water, paint, puddles, food, mud, you name it, he's wearing it!

I don't care. They wear big smiles and that makes me happy

If you don't mind being just a little bit bitchy in response, try this next time MIL says that:

"I know, it's such a shame. Do they ever get to roll in the mud or jump in muddy puddles, do you think? Do you think we should say something? A happy child is a messy child, you know".

On a serious note, DS's favourite activity at nursery is actually rolling in the mud down a hill in the garden into a puddle at the bottom. He gets through three changes a day and comes back with dirt up his nostrils and in his ears. We have to run the washing-machine most nights.

Ignore her. If she is making digs, she'll find something else anyway.

My kids are taught about using the right clothes for the right occasion. Sometimes they are immaculate, sometimes they are a state 🤷

They know there's never any excuse for eating like an animal and putting food everywhere. They don't jump in muddy puddles on the way to school unless they are wearing their waterproof on top of their uniform.
They know to get changed into clean and dry clothes when they come home as I don't want mud all over the house.

I couldn't care less what people can think.

I wouldn’t say anything negative about the children looking immaculate. If she tells SIL it could cause upset and drama. What’s the point? I think just agreeing with her or saying ‘oh lovely’ is the way to go. Don’t take her comment personally - just do your own thing.

It sounds like she's hinting (having a dig) that your kids are perhaps a bit scruffy. Sorry!

... I should add that it's her perception. Your kids may well be enjoying themselves and getting messy.

My cousin was the immaculate child and I was a real scruffy child.

She came over with a beautiful doll and pram, and I buried the doll and used the pram as a wheelbarrow 🤣🤣 my beautifully dressed cousin was covered in mud and looked like she was dragged through a hedge backwards by the time my aunt came to check on us.

My gran never let me forget it and always compared me to my cousin, I honestly didn't care as my cousins life looked crap to me.

More likely than not, it's a dig at you, but you could have some fun with your replies to her, she will soon shut up.

My poor cousins were the immaculate ones when we were young and they had no joy in their childhood whatsoever, poor things.

Awk tell her to do one. Kids shouldn't be immaculate all the time.

I agree that while some immaculate DC might result from restrictive parenting, a few seem to have an invisible force-field that keeps them that way. A friend from childhood was like that and later, when DD1 was primary age and I collected her from school, I used to love seeing the different characters as they spilled out if the doors: the same children would be first or last out, some emerged running excitedly to waiting carers, others wandered out in a dream, most, like mine, had wonky bunches and socks round their ankles but there’d be a couple that belonged in the Ski Yoghurt advert family. I doubt teachers had any part in maintaining them and they will have participated in all the same activities.

It’s probably a petty dig that I would totally ignore.

Not read all the replies yet, but thanks everyone. I think I just needed to hear that it's not that important in the grand scheme of things.

I am generally pretty rational but not when it comes to MIL and D nieces and nephews.

They are lovely kids but SIL is nuts and lays out certain activities for them rather than letting them have free reign in the garden etc, they have to sit at the table to eat, even if it's just a Jaffa cake! It's crazy but MIL definitely favours them i.e they get Christmas birthday presents etc ... Our DC will get a box of celebrations to share. (Ours get plenty and don't need gifts but the disparity is obvious even to them)

I was an immaculate child, hair plaited in the morning stayed tidy all day. Clothes always neat, very dainty eater. My sister looked like she had been pulled through a hedge backwards about 5 seconds after being dressed. Hair fell down, wore her meals, couldn't keep her clothes on properly if her life depended on it
We are close in age and played the same games, just some kids are neater than others.
Unfortunately I peaked early, can't eat a bar of chocolate now without wearing it!

I wouldn’t take that as a dig but I’m not very insecure. Would you say you’re quite insecure?

@rabbitheadlights

Not read all the replies yet, but thanks everyone. I think I just needed to hear that it's not that important in the grand scheme of things.

I am generally pretty rational but not when it comes to MIL and D nieces and nephews.

They are lovely kids but SIL is nuts and lays out certain activities for them rather than letting them have free reign in the garden etc, they have to sit at the table to eat, even if it's just a Jaffa cake! It's crazy but MIL definitely favours them i.e they get Christmas birthday presents etc ... Our DC will get a box of celebrations to share. (Ours get plenty and don't need gifts but the disparity is obvious even to them)

This is mean OP. Let your sil parent in the way she wants without your judgement. They are her kids and she isn’t harming them so it doesn’t matter what you think is “crazy”. The problem is with you I think OP. Live and let live.

@whatsonmymindgrapes

Where have I been mean? Actually is that you MIL? realised it's mean to treat gc's differently?

If children stay immaculate all day long they haven't been having enough fun and outdoor excercise.

Personally, she might have meant it as a dig, but I wouldn’t take it like that. I allow my kids the freedom to wear what they want - obviously I don’t let them wear dirty stuff but ‘immaculate’ says to me that the mother is more concerned with appearances than the child being comfortable or being able to play without worry.

My 9 year old is the child that never dirties anything (let’s forget about the slime incident ) and is always neat as a pin. My older two, who are nearly 12, are the ones with rumpled t-shirts and sauce round their mouths when they eat. Having said that, I’m the one who can’t eat a meal without dipping my boobs in the gravy!

@MustardMitt

Having said that, I’m the one who can’t eat a meal without dipping my boobs in the gravy!

Good I have found my tribe! I cannot eat a meal without spilling some of it on me, at some point. My DH jokes that I need to wear a bib!

DS has a hairy face so never looks immaculate.

my DSs kids always look immaculate. Beautifully dressed. However as some other posters say, they arent allowed to play or be kids. my nephew was chastised and sent to his bedroom at his 5th birthday party for "throwing himself around" onto his bouncy castle and the grass because he was getting dirt on his clothes. So sad.

I know a couple of people with immaculate show room houses and mothercare catalogue children. How do they do it?

It isn't necessarily a dig. People say these odd things without thinking about whether they matter or how they are perceived.

If she is anything like my MIL was she will probably be saying exactly the same thing to SIL too. For years I thought she was having a dig about pretty much everything, house, car, children, clothes, meals etc and then found out she was saying the same kind of things to SIL/BIL too. Ignore her, children need to have the opportunity to play, have fun and get dirty and do not need to be immaculate 100% of the time. My children always went to school clean & tidy and often came out looking like nobody cared for them, scuffed shoes, holes in trousers or jumpers, their lunch down their front and occasionally on their face (in primary school).