Used to be a stripper in my past and now want to foster

[anxywait]

I had a troubled childhood, i fell into the sex industry of working as a stripper as a way to get out of my circumstances. Im Neither ashamed or proud. It was part of my past and who i am today. Im now happily married, settled with a child of my own. Me and my husband would love to foster children, should i be honest about my past employment during the application process. I worked as a stripper for 8 years for context so for a long time and only stopped after meeting my husband and going back to uni so it was rather a big section of my life.

I just know a lot of people would question the morals of someone who worked in a place like that

Well I wouldn’t question your morals. You sound like you’d be an excellent foster carer in part because you actually understand what having a difficult background can be like. Good luck OP

I used to be a stripper, i am now a social worker. It has never crossed my mind that i am lying by not putting it on my CV or job applications.

You presumably are educated to at least degree level in social work during which time your values will have been explored in your self reflection and in practice. The fostering assessment is essentially the same process - but more intensive because foster carers are responsible for the full time care of vulnerable children and young people.

I’m a social worker, I wouldn’t include a period of stripping in my job application (if I had such a history)?but it absolutely would have came up in my adoption assessment. I don’t disclose my difficult childhood when I apply for jobs but it did come up, and was explored thoroughly in my adoption assessment - as it should.

Different processes for different things, I’d expect a social worker to understand the difference.

I’m not sure how relevant it is though ? I was also one . And it’s certainly not on CV
O would truly question the necessity and relevance

You’ve clearly not read the thread in that case, there are numerous clear explanations of why it’s relevant, and that the process is much more involved than completing a CV.

I would be straight about it. I agree having awareness of the "complicated" side of life may well make you well placed to care for children from disrupted homes. I would think it a positive. The children will push all your buttons and insecurities you thought were far behind you but the training should go into this and none of us is perfect anyway. Good luck.

OP you’ve had excellent advice from @Jellycatspyjamas, who knows exactly what she is talking about. She is very well known and respected on the Adoption board and I urge you to listen to her.

I agree with the above poster in that @Jellycatspyjamas advice was excellent.

The only thing I would add is you might want to reflect on why you want to foster as that will certainly be explored. Is it something you’ve always wanted to do, or is it a recent decision?

I’m not saying it’s the case at all, I’m just playing devil’s advocate as it will certainly come up so you might want to reflect on this, but your history shows no “normal” work (apologies for the word normal, I just couldn’t think of a better way to phrase it).

It could be read that you’ve gone from stripping, to being a landlord, then a student (what did you study and why? What were your aims?) and then the job with the start up. When that didn’t work out you jumped to fostering. Is it just a means to an end for money?

I really believe you want to do it for the right reasons because of your past, I really do. But this will all be explored so if I was you I’d spend some time doing some reflection.

I hope that’s helpful and good luck!

Jelly I totally stand corrected !

Having given this some more thought, I’d say again, be completely honest. If you stripped for a living, and if that is in any way exploitative, you were exploited. That’s not a crime. And if it isn’t exploitative, it’s just a job. And if they are going to judge you for your choice of work (outside of any risk presented to young people, which must be discussed) they are probably misogynists.

So loud and clear now: “I was a stripper for eight years.”

I would be honest but maybe put "dancer" or "entertainer" rather than stripper

You say troubled childhood that led you in to the sex industry

I would say they will be interested in exploring your troubled childhood

This thread is a shining example of how we can all learn from Wycliffe Jean. I am humbled.

@OhhCarolina what is wycliffe jayne?

In response to the question asking about if it would be for the money, absolutely mot! I have always wanted to either foster of adopt because i think every child deserves someone to love them unconditionally, it would be a permanent placement i would offer a child with the hope to eventually adopt if it was an option. The extra money would be helpful and allow me to give the child an even better life (better holidays and experiences) but i don't need to work, the money we get from property and my partners job is enough for us to live comfortably on. I just think its so sad that every child is born the same innocent, beautiful baby and then depending on who takes that child home some get all the love and support in the world and others have no one like i did!

I have wanted to do it for YEARS but only recently has my husband been on board

it would be a permanent placement i would offer a child with the hope to eventually adopt if it was an option.

There’s a very active Adoption board on Mumsnet, it may be worth posting there as there are some very experienced, knowledgeable posters who will have a better understanding of the issues. You’ll find it under the “becoming a parent” part of the board - we’re a friendly bunch.

OP you’ve had excellent advice from @Jellycatspyjamas, who knows exactly what she is talking about. She is very well known and respected on the Adoption board and I urge you to listen to her.

Why thank you 🙏

'i worked in nightclubs' 'i was a dancer' 'nigtclub hostess' 'entertainment and hospitality' etc etc- none of those are lying or 'massaging the truth'. If they want you to list exactly how many clothes you wore or didn't wear, I would say that was more detail than you'd need to provide about any other job you may have?

Also OP you do have a job now! Landlady (possibly company director too depending how it's set up). And aren't they lucky, because you work for yourself you are flexible and able to be available for fostering...
Good luck

@anxywait

In response to the question asking about if it would be for the money, absolutely mot! I have always wanted to either foster of adopt because i think every child deserves someone to love them unconditionally, it would be a permanent placement i would offer a child with the hope to eventually adopt if it was an option. The extra money would be helpful and allow me to give the child an even better life (better holidays and experiences) but i don't need to work, the money we get from property and my partners job is enough for us to live comfortably on. I just think its so sad that every child is born the same innocent, beautiful baby and then depending on who takes that child home some get all the love and support in the world and others have no one like i did!

I have wanted to do it for YEARS but only recently has my husband been on board

I’ve got everything crossed for you, and I really hope you get that chance to offer a child (or children) a better life. Good luck.

I would say you were hostess or entertainer x