Used to be a stripper in my past and now want to foster

[anxywait]

I had a troubled childhood, i fell into the sex industry of working as a stripper as a way to get out of my circumstances. Im Neither ashamed or proud. It was part of my past and who i am today. Im now happily married, settled with a child of my own. Me and my husband would love to foster children, should i be honest about my past employment during the application process. I worked as a stripper for 8 years for context so for a long time and only stopped after meeting my husband and going back to uni so it was rather a big section of my life.

I don't see how being a stripper in the past would affect your chances of being a foster parent. If you are asked to state jobs in the past, then I would do so. It's a sad old world if there is any discrimination against you in your situation.

IF you'd been an Oscar-winning actress baring all for a role, you'd probably have flashed more flesh!

Sparkle socks yes i got a job for a start up company that seemed the dream but paid everyone off and decided to try and do things solo after just 8 weeks with all going on with covid!

I haven't long finished studying so im now only thinking about working and i would love to foster but was worried about how my past might have affected my application.

The feedback on here has been so helpful though and im so glad that i asked!

You would just say you were a dancer surely? Why phrase it in a derogatory way and invite judgement? I think it would be completely inadvisable to put 'stripper' on an application for anything

Could you say 'exotic dancer' instead of stripper? It's true but a less evocative phrase

@anxywait are there dedicated forums for foster carers and adoptive parents you could consult? Another possibility is finding a forum for current or former sex workers and asking there. Both places may be really useful to understand how to approach the situation and even how to frame it for the social workers who will be building a profile for you. You sound like you're doing marvelously. Good luck! :)

I will of course say dancer but used the word stripper to gain attraction for responses on the thread..

You will need to be honest.
We adopted not fostered but the process is similar. They will speak to people to get a rounded view of you so if someone slips up and mentions it, it would look much worse.

They probably won't hold it against you. They will just want to understand why you did it, what you learnt from it and whether or not it will negatively impact your ability to foster.
I would imagine one concern would be if the parents of the child you foster, had seen you as a stripper and remembered you and the trouble this could cause if the parents made an issue of it. Obviously this is unlikely but they may ask you how you would handle such a situation.

Please ask this on the fostering board. I've had something to do with fostering and the advice could be more specific than you have been given here.

They will be interested about what you learned and how you handled it. Yes yes to recognising exploitation.

Your past can be a strength- determination to change your circumstances, sensibly saving rather than spending, alert to the dangers.

Also, aware of the benefits of education, in a settled relationship etc.

We all have previous life experience we bring to the job. It's what we8ve learned from it which matters.

@Paul72

I was a foster parent few years ago. What matters in my opinion is how you are now. Being a stripper does not make you a bad person or a bad parent. What can you offer to foster children? I'm sure you can offer loads. I met some foster parents who could not understand how the parents of the children got their lives into a mess, they simply did not understand poverty. I think you would be great foster parents. If you have no convictions relating to being a stripper (I can't see how you would have) it should not be essential to mention it but a gap in your life might be noticed

Totally agree.

Don't call yourself a stripper. Dancer at worst or better still hostess or support staff. If you call yourself support staff that covers a lot of sins and no-one is going to ask you if you took yer clobber off surely?
You have the right attitude to it. Don't be ashamed of it because that feeling will be catching when you've done a legal job and been paid to do it.

Can I just ask, based on questions and feedback on this thread only. So I havent advanced searched you.

You've mentioned managing property (4 houses), new job (no more), finishing education recently. Do you stick at things or move on to the next one fairly quickly? I dont think the stripping would be an issue (beyond impressed by the detailed helpful reply you received upthread from a professional) but moving on quickly to new could possibly be a problem. Many children in the care system have SEN and other needs - dealing with a child with SEN is a long patient process.

I had a troubled childhood

I would have thought that as long as the agency/social workers assessing your application are convinced you are now emotional stable and balanced, then your childhood will go in your favour, and even being able to acknowledge that a bleak time in your life led you to stripping. If you can show reflection and insight and growth from these times that will stand you in good stead. You'll be able to empathise with some of the kids you may foster.
I'd hope that is the case anyway.

Social worker whose done Form F assessments. Please be honest. This should not prohibit you from being a foster carer if you are honest, can demonstrate different choices made now and are able to reflect on the experience, have a healthy attitude towards this and show your understanding of what the safeguarding concerns would be for a yp in that situation.

Honesty is an important thing here. You have four properties that you rent out and I want to ask, as have three other posters, whether you paid tax on your earnings - was it via PAYE or did you register as self-employed?

Spongedog I wouldn't say that i move on quickly. I completed a 4 year degree, have had the same friends for most of my life, been in the same relationship for nearly 10 years, very dedicated mum and dog mum... the only things thats changed is that i took a job recently that didnt work out because of covid and it being a start up business.

Off thread slightly, but well done you for buying 4 properties with your earnings, you clearly have a good head on your shoulders!

I would suggest “dancer” should go on your CV (which is what this application sounds like) and be honest if they ask for more details. Let’s face it, if it says dancer at Stringfellows, everyone would know what that means anyway!

I actually think your experience could be seen as a benefit for fostering, having worked your way out of a difficult past you must have some very useful skills and experience to offer young people also going through hard times. Just an observation though, I have not dealt with the fostering system myself.

Best of luck!

Well you haven't done anything illegal. I'd say you were a dancer and if they want to know more they will ask.

And i didn't realise it was a question that people wanted answered regarding tax. A proportion of my income (card payments) was taxable and was paid PAYE, the rest which was cash i declared some of.

the rest which was cash i declared some of

You did not declare all of your earnings. You diverted some of those earnings away from HMRC so that you could buy four houses instead of three. You cheated the public purse. That is our money.

You may be a suitable foster parent. You may be truthful. However, when you are sitting with those children in the GP surgery or A&E, you will always now remember that you have a debt to repay.

I’m inspired by your buying four properties (outright?) from eight years’ work! How did you manage it?

Definitely didn't enable me to buy my 4th property... allowed me to buy my asda shop each week and everything else i would put in the bank so i could be approved for a mortgage and have good book keeping by my accountant! Over the 8 years that i worked 6 nights a week earning £££££ per week my conscience is clear! I wouldnt have been able to purchase my properties without declaring and paying tax

You could put Stripper and Grinder, it was a very common job at one time, I come across it a lot when transcribing Parish registers!

@anxywait ignore that poster going on about HMRC. S/He was trying to find a stick to beat you with and tried out the "dirty scrounger" club.