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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To suddenly not want to work anymore?

435 replies

MasterGland · 09/11/2020 21:43

I want to sit at home with my cats and read books. Perhaps bake occasionally, play board games with my son. Weed the garden.
I have realised that I can easily fill my days with these things. They make me happy. I am really struggling with motivation at work. I used to be quite career oriented, but now I keep calculating the minimum I need to retire, and how I might do it as soon as possible.
It is a sudden change for me, and not sure if it is related to the current lockdowns... but have not directly been affected by them really as worked straight through both. Anyone else had a sudden change of heart about the pursuit of endless work?

OP posts:
Newfornow · 09/11/2020 21:45

Depends on age I suppose.
Can you take a sabbatical?

Shylo · 09/11/2020 21:45

Yes absolutely ! I could cheerfully call work tomorrow, tell them to stuff their job and make a perfectly happy life for myself at home ..... unfortunately my mortgage provider does not feel the same way lol

Original poster
MasterGland · 09/11/2020 21:49

I am only in my late thirties... this does not bode well for me! Sabbatical not an option, unfortunately.

OP posts:
asifiwould · 09/11/2020 21:50

I had to wait till I was 52. That was 4 months ago, and it was the best decision I could have made. I potter, I walk, I make things, I binge watch TV, I garden, I bake, I read, I notice stuff. Spent a full half hour watching squirrels today. Six months ago I would have had that inner nagging voice letting me know how much work I needed today. Today I enjoyed being in the moment.

I had planned to hang on for another 4 years, but covid made me realise that I needed to stop 'living to work'. If you can afford it I wholly recommend a slower pace of life.

TroysMammy · 09/11/2020 21:51

I only work 2 1/2 days a week but on Wednesday morning when I get up and before starting work at 1pm I wish I was older than I am and retired. I could easily fill my day making cards, pretending to do housework, bake, potter around in the garden and also read with the cat snuggled up next to me. My mortgage is paid off but I need money coming in to pay a few bills, eat, run my car and fund my hobbies.

TheOnlyLivingBoyInNewCross · 09/11/2020 21:51

I had exactly the same epiphany over the weekend. And I normally am quite happy about work - it's tiring and there's too much of it but I love the kids I teach, etc, etc.

And all of a sudden, I just had that Lethal Weapon moment of "I'm too old for this shit". I'm just tired. Not "get a good night's sleep and it'll all be fine" tired. Just bone weary of it all. So tired of talking to people. All. The. Damn. Time.

rainkeepsfallingdown · 09/11/2020 21:53

@MasterGland

I want to sit at home with my cats and read books. Perhaps bake occasionally, play board games with my son. Weed the garden. I have realised that I can easily fill my days with these things. They make me happy. I am really struggling with motivation at work. I used to be quite career oriented, but now I keep calculating the minimum I need to retire, and how I might do it as soon as possible. It is a sudden change for me, and not sure if it is related to the current lockdowns... but have not directly been affected by them really as worked straight through both. Anyone else had a sudden change of heart about the pursuit of endless work?
I wanted to retire years ago.

Sadly, like you, I'm not old enough to even contemplate it seriously.

YABU for only just having the thought! Grin

DuzzyFuck · 09/11/2020 21:53

I feel much the same OP, and I'm also late 30s. I've been working part-time since March and have no great urge to ever do full hours again (although we want to start a family so the more money I can bring in for now, the better).

Original poster
MasterGland · 09/11/2020 21:54

@asifiwould

I had to wait till I was 52. That was 4 months ago, and it was the best decision I could have made. I potter, I walk, I make things, I binge watch TV, I garden, I bake, I read, I notice stuff. Spent a full half hour watching squirrels today. Six months ago I would have had that inner nagging voice letting me know how much work I needed today. Today I enjoyed being in the moment.

I had planned to hang on for another 4 years, but covid made me realise that I needed to stop 'living to work'. If you can afford it I wholly recommend a slower pace of life.

That sounds wonderful
OP posts:
Grenlei · 09/11/2020 21:54

Yes OP I get where you're coming from. Giving up work completely isn't practical for me but I'd love a 3 or 6 month sabbatical, I have so many jobs that I can't get done in long weekends. Furlough fwould have been fantastic but I've been WfH throughout. No chance of negotiating any kind of extended leave however as certain sectors of our company are making people redundant, and we have massive changes coming in the next few months which I'm heavily involved with. So I just have to make the most of my remaining 5 days annual leave!

PullTheBricksDown · 09/11/2020 21:56

Is it the type of job you're in that's made this worse? Could you change that or go part time? Or, how long would it actually be till you can retire? Maybe consult those forums about full on saving for early retirement..

Cauterize · 09/11/2020 21:56

I'm also late 30s and had a really awful day at work today. The realisation that I can't just jack it all in made me well up inside!

Mortgage should be paid off by the time I'm 50. Then I will be seriously re evaluating

Mamagotskills · 09/11/2020 21:57

Totally. Only fear of finances stops me from jacking in the greasy corporate pole for a much slower pace of life. I’m only mid 30s too. Definitely feeling it more of late

malificent7 · 09/11/2020 21:58

I'd love to spend the rest of my life talking to cats and painting...yanbu.

Scout2016 · 09/11/2020 21:58

I have a vocational type job and used to think that even if I won the lottery I'd continue working. I'm not ambitious, it6not a career but it is rewarding in an very obvious sense and not too taxing, compared to previous jobs especially. Since lockdown I have realised I would happily stop working tomorrow. My motivation has taken a huge knock.

chillied · 09/11/2020 21:59

Do you think it is related to more people experiencing being furloughed, so some people do have time at home and are writing/ talking about it?

I work from home so have worked all through 2020 - for which I'm grateful. But certainly back in April there was a new theme of people talking about all the diy and hobbies they could get on with.

Original poster
MasterGland · 09/11/2020 21:59

@TheOnlyLivingBoyInNewCross

I had exactly the same epiphany over the weekend. And I normally am quite happy about work - it's tiring and there's too much of it but I love the kids I teach, etc, etc.

And all of a sudden, I just had that Lethal Weapon moment of "I'm too old for this shit". I'm just tired. Not "get a good night's sleep and it'll all be fine" tired. Just bone weary of it all. So tired of talking to people. All. The. Damn. Time.

God, that resonates with me. Also a teacher. I just stopped talking to my difficult lot and gave them a worksheet today. It was so tiring to constantly manage them. I sat and watched the birds outside the window. They were a bitHmm
OP posts:
gchali · 09/11/2020 22:00

I feel like this and I'm mid 20s! Long way to go for me yet unfortunately Sad

asifiwould · 09/11/2020 22:01

Look atmonysavingexpecrt retirement section. It really helped me. About 5 years ago I realised that there was no way on earth I could keep on doing my job till retirement age. I read a few of the posters on there describing how they were reaching their early retirement goal and it really inspired me. I looked again at my budget and cut down. I tried to live on less for a good 18 months before I handed in my notice so I knew we could survive. I just walked away for a job bringing home nearly 3K a month. Scary, but essential - I knew I could not keep going in every day.

asifiwould · 09/11/2020 22:02

sorry typos!!! Walked away FROM a job.

emmetgirl · 09/11/2020 22:03

I feel exactly the same. I'm 54 and have worked full time since leaving university. I only even had 3 months off when I had DD 26 years ago. I own my own business but I've so had enough of working all the time.

asifiwould · 09/11/2020 22:04

No surprise to reveal I was a teacher too!!! I was totally and utterly burnt out and had no more left to give.

Original poster
MasterGland · 09/11/2020 22:04

@chillied

Do you think it is related to more people experiencing being furloughed, so some people do have time at home and are writing/ talking about it?

I work from home so have worked all through 2020 - for which I'm grateful. But certainly back in April there was a new theme of people talking about all the diy and hobbies they could get on with.

Maybe. One of my friends asked our WhatsApp group what we all had planned during the second lockdown, a new language, new hobby. Its weird because nothing has changed for me.
OP posts:
Jellykat · 09/11/2020 22:06

I'm 57 and just come out of Welsh lockdown.
I could happily continue listening to the radio, go to bed when i want, get up when i want, sitting and sewing, wearing comfy clothes and no make up, gardening on nice days etc etc.. but alas, back to work on Wednesday all be it part time, but i cram 2/3 jobs in a day non stop, and it takes me a day to recover! I'm so fed up of the treadmill and paying a price physically now..

FreddieFoot · 09/11/2020 22:07

I'm all for taking a break from work every now and again. When my kids were little I stayed at home then 4 years ago I decided to start working in a school. I'm flexible and get bored easily with jobs so I'm sure at some point I'll have another break and then do something else.