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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To suddenly not want to work anymore?

435 replies

MasterGland · 09/11/2020 21:43

I want to sit at home with my cats and read books. Perhaps bake occasionally, play board games with my son. Weed the garden.
I have realised that I can easily fill my days with these things. They make me happy. I am really struggling with motivation at work. I used to be quite career oriented, but now I keep calculating the minimum I need to retire, and how I might do it as soon as possible.
It is a sudden change for me, and not sure if it is related to the current lockdowns... but have not directly been affected by them really as worked straight through both. Anyone else had a sudden change of heart about the pursuit of endless work?

OP posts:
MiaMarshmallows · 09/11/2020 23:09

I feel the same

sneakysnoopysniper · 09/11/2020 23:09

Im in my mid 70s. I retired from employed work at 60 and began my own internet based company. I cant imagine a life just sitting around the house binge watching TV and doing nothing creative, Doing what I do now enables me to enjoy what I do, bring in extra money but work at a pace and which suits me. I now have the best boss I ever had.

TibetanTerrier · 09/11/2020 23:10

I retired 4 years ago having worked full-time for 44 years - and I thoroughly recommend it! I live half a mile from the beach and my life is mostly walking my dogs, photography, craftwork, and reading. Not sure how I ever found the time to go to work now!

FinallyFluid · 09/11/2020 23:10

OwlOne

Ah just seen your comment re working pre 44 but not in Ireland.

Double check with the pension people they are in Buncrana I believe, I left Ireland in the 80's and work was scarce to say the least, however I have about two years credits, work and signing on and I was delighted to discover that they go towards my UK pension when I am of age.

Is it possible that it is reciprocal in other parts of the world/Europe ?

nettie434 · 09/11/2020 23:17

Could have written your post exactly myself! Sadly, I have not yet discovered the answer to financial survival and giving up work yet.

Christmaspud20 · 09/11/2020 23:18

I'm a similar age and at the moment I'm a sahm. And dh does the earning.

Even when the kids are all at school so 4 more yrs. I don't know if I want to, to be truthful.
I go through phases of thinking about a pt job now xbox even evenings in supermarket or something, to nah sod that, to oh I may start a course next Yr for 2 yrs ready for when the kids are all at school, to nah sod that too!

I could easily fill my time when they're at school. And if the list to do ends. I'd sleep 😂

CheetasOnFajitas · 09/11/2020 23:19

@sneakysnoopysniper

Im in my mid 70s. I retired from employed work at 60 and began my own internet based company. I cant imagine a life just sitting around the house binge watching TV and doing nothing creative, Doing what I do now enables me to enjoy what I do, bring in extra money but work at a pace and which suits me. I now have the best boss I ever had.
Why do you assume that people who retire early would not be doing creative things? The reference to “Binge watching TV” is a bit rude IMHO. A lot of people stop work precisely because they want to do creative things.
SummerBreezemakesmefeelfine · 09/11/2020 23:19

What this thread tells us is that many women really hanker to be at home. No great surprise there, because that is what many women in previous generations always did. Lots of unpaid work went with this.

My Grandmother never "worked". She brought up a family, supported elderly relatives by having them live with the family and provided social care and end of life care for them. When her husband became ill, she cared for him at home and finally in her later years had some time to herself.

Maybe younger generations of women need to think about the old way of doing things.

madcatladyforever · 09/11/2020 23:22

I'd love to give it all up. I'd be retired now had I not had to pay off two useless work shy husbands.
I feel sick at the thought of 9 more years of this.

Oldsu · 09/11/2020 23:26

Totally the opposite in my house, in fact I actually got my letter from the dwp today telling me I am due my state pension in March next year, which I filed as I am deferring it and will continue to work, I have a job I love and was promoted with a large pay rise the week after my 65th Birthday, DH did retire at age 65, started to volunteer in a charity shop, the took the job as paid sales assistant when it came up, then manager and now manager of 2 shops, both of us are happy and fulfilled and wouldn't have it any other way, I can understand people with health issues wanting to stop work or reduce their hours, or people having to take a job they hate in these difficult times being dissatisfied and unhappy with their lot, but not me, yes we have a bit of cash and savings no mortgage and count ourselves fortunate to still be able to work but I honestly could never see myself in a situation where I wasn't able to work, my own dad worked until he was 84 and DHs dad worked till the age of 82 and maybe that's where we get our work ethic from

RaininSummer · 09/11/2020 23:37

I feel exactly the same OP. Always have been a 'non-bored ' person when at home but have really loved the past few months when I have been home most of the time even when working. I would love to pack it in. 9 years to go though.

Dreamylemon · 09/11/2020 23:42

It feels like jobs these days squeeze everything out of you which doesnt leave much work/ life balance. Particularly of both partners in a couple work and even more so when thry have children.

@giggly I'm also a frontline HCP in the NHS. I can retire at 68yo. Going by how my parents are doing I will be dead by then Confused

SunscreenCentral · 09/11/2020 23:43

Sick to the back teeth of work, I’d lost my mojo after years of over-work, stress over a teenager, a failed marriage and bouts of depression. I’m 50. I know now that I want to live in a different country and I’m slowly working towards that. My h will retire in 7 years. The mortgage will be paid. 2nd dc in Uni. Seriously hoping to bugger off for at least 50% of the year by then.
I’m lucky to have a defined benefit pension BUT it is based on final sal which is a worry.
Think I need to talk to a financial advisor and a solicitor.

FinallyFluid · 09/11/2020 23:49

and maybe that's where we get our work ethic from

And maybe you are judging people without having the whole background. Hmm

Not that it is any business of yours but in the last 30 years we have dealt with the following.

Actually do you know what.... it is none of your business, but I have had two rounds of different primary cancers in five years.

So nowt to do with my work ethic and everything to do with being exhausted.

Not to put too fine a point on it.......... Jog on. Angry

Leaannb · 09/11/2020 23:53

I turned 50 during lockdown and have already retired from one career. I couldn't imagine retiring so early. I jhae been thinking of giving up 1 but I'm stuck until they can find someone else

Leaannb · 09/11/2020 23:56

@SummerBreezemakesmefeelfine

What this thread tells us is that many women really hanker to be at home. No great surprise there, because that is what many women in previous generations always did. Lots of unpaid work went with this.

My Grandmother never "worked". She brought up a family, supported elderly relatives by having them live with the family and provided social care and end of life care for them. When her husband became ill, she cared for him at home and finally in her later years had some time to herself.

Maybe younger generations of women need to think about the old way of doing things.

Yeah because being a slave to others is right for everyone. How about the husband take care of the elderly or you know people plan for their own elder care. . God forbid women have any other interests besides being caretakers for family.
Oldsu · 10/11/2020 00:06

@FinallyFluid

and maybe that's where we get our work ethic from

And maybe you are judging people without having the whole background. Hmm

Not that it is any business of yours but in the last 30 years we have dealt with the following.

Actually do you know what.... it is none of your business, but I have had two rounds of different primary cancers in five years.

So nowt to do with my work ethic and everything to do with being exhausted.

Not to put too fine a point on it.......... Jog on. Angry

And you obviously didn't read or ignored the part where I distinctly said I understand people with health issues wanting to stop work or reduce their hours, so you jog on (or learn to read posts more closely)
Bowerbird5 · 10/11/2020 00:40

I retired last month.

Today I got up and took a mug of tea back to bed
I read for a while then got up and took breakfast down to the summerhouse and my DH and I did a crossword. I fed my hens and talked to them. It was so lovely that after I stripped the bed put in to wash and went out into the garden for about three hours. We pruned what needed tidying, weeded and tidied the stragglers. Noticed the periwinkles and the honeysuckle was still out and the perfume of the last sweet peas. We had salad sandwiches for lunch with tomatoes I had grown.washed up. Then I made carrot cake. Watched a bit of afternoon tv
I made cottage pie for supper which we thoroughly enjoyed then after clearing up we started a jigsaw. Cup of tea and a slice of carrot cake now bed.
Much better than the stress I was enduring at work. I’m in my early sixties and changes at work meant the job I loved wasn’t the same and I was lucky if I had time for and lunch or a break. The ethos of our work place changed when our boss took early retirement. I am looking forward to a long walk tomorrow.

KittCat · 10/11/2020 00:44

Yanbu...I'd love to retire but can't afford to Sad

GlowingOrb · 10/11/2020 00:52

I love my job. I’m good at it and I know it makes a positive difference in the world. I’d still walk away tomorrow if money wasn’t an issue. That has been true my whole life. I’ve never needed work to fill my days. Work just interrupts me. I’ve got sculptures to make and languages to learn. I’d like to get back into making paper. Last week I spent my free-time coding up a bespoke homework tracker for my dd.

Valkadin · 10/11/2020 01:08

I retired very young due to unfortunate circumstances but I had always planned to retire at 50 and would have. It slot so planning and also lets be honest a bit of luck in relationships, investments, job offers and right place right time. But the one thing with me is I was always head over heart.

grassisjeweled · 10/11/2020 01:37

I'd be quite happy cooking, cycling and trying to garden. Odd bit of housework here and there. Pedicures. Spot of shopping. Coffees out. Hiking.

It wouldn't be a super extravagant lifestyle either!

grassisjeweled · 10/11/2020 01:42

Let's face it, if you want to sit around the house getting shit faced on white wine whilst watching Loose Women who the hell are we to judge? Uncreative? Who cares?

No moral superiority needed here, thank you

Blueberries0112 · 10/11/2020 01:44

I work part time but I feel bad for my husband, he will have to work until he is 65 (US retirement age) if they don't change it to 70's

IdblowJonSnow · 10/11/2020 02:01

Yanbu. I've mainly worked part time since I had my second child.
Are part time hours an option for you?