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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To suddenly not want to work anymore?

435 replies

MasterGland · 09/11/2020 21:43

I want to sit at home with my cats and read books. Perhaps bake occasionally, play board games with my son. Weed the garden.
I have realised that I can easily fill my days with these things. They make me happy. I am really struggling with motivation at work. I used to be quite career oriented, but now I keep calculating the minimum I need to retire, and how I might do it as soon as possible.
It is a sudden change for me, and not sure if it is related to the current lockdowns... but have not directly been affected by them really as worked straight through both. Anyone else had a sudden change of heart about the pursuit of endless work?

OP posts:
olivesonapizza · 09/11/2020 22:07

I used to feel like this but have been at home with DC almost full time since March and I'm longing to get back to work now.

@asifiwould glad you corrected yourself, I was wondering what kind of thread this was where a job paying £3k a month was seen as a step back 😂

Original poster
MasterGland · 09/11/2020 22:10

@asifiwould was crunching the numbers on Sunday evening. I reckon I can be mortgage free at 44. Then I want to drop to 3 days and jack it all in by 54....

OP posts:
RealBecca · 09/11/2020 22:11

Seven years until the mortgage is paid. I'm clinging to that. After that we want to buy an investment property to make some money, rent it out, flip it, I don't care. I'm so over office work.

Paying the mortgage off is the goal. Like buying freedom!

CSIblonde · 09/11/2020 22:12

I feel the same. Since I retrained I found I can live on a part time income so it's been life changing. I spent years working two jobs so it's bliss to have 3days in the week to potter,garden, read,binge watch crime documentaries etc. Can't wait to retire.

hellymissy · 09/11/2020 22:15

OP I could have written this post. I run my own business but it is still not that simple to give it up - in some ways I feel even more trapped than being employed.

I feel worse because it gives me incredible income and so makes me feel ungrateful but I am really nowhere near as driven as I sued to be. I sit here now doing work quite honestly want to throw my laptop at the screen, it sucks.

I really feel down by it all.

Equally if I retired I would end up bored but this, it is certainly not what I want to be doing forever. 5 years max left in me I reckon.

marriednotdead · 09/11/2020 22:17

I’m less than 13 years from retirement and have always worked, have done 4 days a week for the last decade but have my GCs a day too. I don’t earn much but I live cheaply.

After the initial shock of the first lockdown, I quickly realised how much I needed to slow down. My many months on furlough gave me a taste of what retirement looks like, including financially and I can’t wait!

There’s more to life than slogging to accumulate material things that will mean nothing when your time comes.

Smallsteps88 · 09/11/2020 22:19

Same here OP. I’ve spent years chasing my tail, constantly trying to better myself, earn more, be busy and I was always on with that. My mental health suffered when I wasn’t working. Then lockdown happened and my business shut down. I was jobless and so worried. I reassessed and got a new job and started retraining. Chasing my tail again but glad to have something to keep me busy. But suddenly it just feels so hard. Sudden change in circumstances has meant I’m now only working 2 days a week and while financially it’s not great, Ive stopped looking for something to fill the gap. I was initially but this weekend I decided to just let myself breathe for a while. I’m just going to work the 2 days, tighten my belt and enjoy the days I have at home. Today was a day at home and I felt so happy. It’s not a long term option. I’ve about 35 working years left and I know before long I’ll need to go back to full time but for now, hopefully at least until new year, I’m going to enjoy the slower pace.

SealionsAndSand · 09/11/2020 22:20

Me too OP.

I am early 40s and always been career orientated.

I lost my contract role due to Covid earlier in the year. I had 6 weeks off and loved it.

My role now I only took because I like my manager. Who left and now I'm contemplating the same.

I also have no motivation at the moment. We are mortgage free but want to move and will need a hefty mortgage but dh thinks we need to wait a year (which I agree with).

So I'm sat here at my desk in the DC room thinking, how much I want to quit and enjoy the sun while I can (I'm in Aus)

PoloNeckKnickers · 09/11/2020 22:21

Another teacher here. 53 and absolutely want to pack it in. I intend to retire early at 57/58 but that seems like a long time away.

AnneElliott · 09/11/2020 22:23

You're not alone op. I've always loved my job but suddenly I'm thinking that I could actually find things to do with my day.

Mortgage goes in 8 years so maybe I can go part time then.

MrsDarcyIwish · 09/11/2020 22:23

Another one here!
Five more years on the mortgage.
Eight more years until the dcs are (hopefully) financially independent.
So mid fifties I hope to go part-time if at all possible or change jobs to something I can do without having to think, plan and have the goal posts constantly moved ( another teacher too: love the kids, mostly, but am soooooo done with management and gvt).
All I want to do is read, potter, garden, bake and walk in the countryside. I'm 47 but feel 20 years older some days.

woodhill · 09/11/2020 22:24

Yes exactly the same and planning ahead now and trying to save. I'm exhausted and would never be bored at home,

ozymandiusking · 09/11/2020 22:25

I had a dream the other night that I HAD to go back to work and I was crying and saying "I don't want to go." Honestly , I'm 70!
All I can say is that you have a lot of life to live and enjoy.
I know things are hard at the moment, but they will get better.

Covidasaurus · 09/11/2020 22:26

My tribe!

I used to be so driven. Covid has stripped my job of l the parts that made it bearable. Now I hate it.

Reckon I’ve got another 20 years of work though and sadly never in line for any inheritances!

charlieclown · 09/11/2020 22:29

I've got the opposite problem. I am 4 days a week and now my youngest is at school I am bored on the 5th day. I have nothing I want to do. My home is organised, I do plenty of exercise, I am studying, I read widely fact and fiction, I volunteer at kids activitys and attend church. I meet up with friends (ordinarily).

I'm going full time.

I do have a certain envy for those who can relax.

CallmeAngelina · 09/11/2020 22:29

Another teacher. I'm 57 and am finding it so hard to get motivated to do anything at the moment. I'm hoping it's a temporary blip due to Covid and all the depressing negativity everywhere, because I do actually like my job.
We could afford for me to stop completely, or at the very least, drop a couple more days (not full-time now). But I do like the idea of stashing some more money away for the future and I wonder if I'd get bored?

CheetasOnFajitas · 09/11/2020 22:30

Much of this resonates with me. I took a deliberate step back from a high pressure high reward position to go part time about 5 years ago and don’t regret it for a second. I still work with the people who are doing my old job and I don’t envy them one bit. I ha e one day a week when my son is in nursery and I am not working. It’s a blissful indulgence but it keeps me sane. I honestly don’t think I could ever face a return to full time work.

One thing that I have noticed is that you haven’t mentioned a partner OP, not have any of the others who have identified. My concern about chucking in work completely would be that I would feel lazy if my husband was still working and I would not want to be perceived as a “kept woman”. I also think it’s hard to live simply and on savings when one of you is working and wants to splash out on nice holidays etc.

StanfordPines · 09/11/2020 22:30

I’m counting the years until I retire.
As a teacher I get a little taste of it over the summer.

DespairingHomeowner · 09/11/2020 22:33

I think it’s really hard to stay motivated at work in vpcurrent circumstances.... as you say you were career oriented before dont rush into anything

TimeToCloseTheDoor · 09/11/2020 22:33

I’ve done it, just finalising the agreement details this week.

I feel like a new woman but I don’t have a new purpose yet. I know I don’t want to work full time again and with a new budget I don’t need to for at least 12 months.

What do I do, who knows! I could make dog treats... where to start.

Wishihadanalgorithm · 09/11/2020 22:34

OP, you have described how I feel to a T.

I’ve gone part time this year which does help but really, I just want a big lottery win!

Chestnutpony · 09/11/2020 22:34

Money moustache has some interesting ideas on early retirement. I'm not willing to go as far as he does, but I've adapted some of his ideas.

Pikachubaby · 09/11/2020 22:35

If you are a teacher, cut yourself some slack, it’s very very hard to be a teacher right now BrewWine

If you did not work, how would you make ends meet financially?

Jayaywhynot · 09/11/2020 22:38

I'm with you, had to stop myself from resigning today, working from home, new job, lack of training, too much work, not enough hours in the day and they're pay a pittance, I hate it and iv got better things that I could spend my time on like me!

NiceLegsShameAboutTheFace · 09/11/2020 22:38

I'm 53. I can afford to retire but the thought of painting, gardeing and counting squirrels fill me with dread.

For all those of you who want to do those things - which it seems is most of you - then I really hope you get there soon. But me? I'd like to work til I die.

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