There is a lot of background to this but I don't think it's necessary to get the gist.
DP and I moved into a house at the beginning of lockdown in March. DP is a teacher, I am wfh due to COVID and have been since March. We have 2 dogs, one of which is a new rescue we got the day we moved.
Up until September, DP didn't have any work as he was moving schools. He would check emails at some point and set work but 95% of his day was leisure (please let's not make this a teacher bashing thread - just trying to be honest). As a result, we shared the dog feeding responsibilities in the morning, but when I was really busy at work I asked DP to do slightly more. All was fine, no arguments.
From September, DP started in school properly. Every morning he wakes at 6am, wakes me up in the process either through his alarm being snoozed, taking forever to turn it off, speaking to me, moaning at me etc. He goes downstairs with the dogs (as soon as they hear the alarm they're up!) and feeds them/ opens the back door. He also would get himself a tea/breakfast if he wants it. He then continues to get ready and leaves around 630.
During the day the dogs are then my responsibility, new dog is still needing training and is a bit too much of a guard dog - so my day is spent stopping barking at the post man, Hermes, DPD, the neighbours leaving/receiving parcels, Amazon etc. (why do they all come at different times!!) as well as working and hoping the deliveries don't come during a work call.
At first, I fed the dogs on Sat and Sun when we were both off. However, I soon realised it was unfair. I was being woken up at 6am every weekday (granted I can go back to sleep but it never feels great and I regularly struggle). Then the days I can lie-in I am up feeding the dogs at 6am, doing it quietly as to not disturb DP.
I said to DP that I didn't think it was fair, so asked him to do the feed on Sundays. Every Sunday he now moans and there's an argument.
He has said if we did a poll that everyone would agree with him, I have said if that is so then I will change.
A few points to note:
- on half terms/school holidays we take it in turns to get up to feed the dogs.
- I think Mon-fri he is up anyway and going downstairs, so feeding your fur babies is no effort.
- the dogs were a joint decision and we both love them dearly.
- when I return to work, we would wake up at the same time and therefore the feeding would be split / whoever is in the kitchen first.
So wise MNers. Who is BU?
Poll:
YABU - it doesn't matter that DP is up for work anyway, he does 5 days so you should do the weekend.
YANBU - It is no effort for DP to do the feeding when he is already up, weekends and any time you are both off should be split equally.
Thanks!