Even if my boss was joking it's still a horrible thing to say

[CristinaYangsBrain]

I work a minimum wage job. I was chatting to my boss today and I mentioned that I had bought a small food item from M&S and suggested she might like it too.

She stared at me for a few seconds and then said to me "If you're shopping at M&S I'm clearly paying you too much." and then walked off. She wasn't smiling or anything but she does have quite a dry sense of humour usually.

AIBU or is this a really horrible thing for her to say?

What a cunt. At least you know now what she thinks of you- don't be doing her any favours!

Also JFC it's m&s not bleeding harrods!

What makes you think she was joking? Sounds like she is a nasty person

My female boss told me the only reason our higher up boss was taking any notice of my work and potential was because he wanted a fuck.

Bosses are dicks

She sounds nasty OP. I can't think of any reason to say that except that she somehow looks down on you, and thinks you shouldn't be able to afford nice things. Or something twisted along those lines.
Sorry.

It's a joke. I would not let it wind me up.

I don’t think I could get over that. What a horrible thing to say. The mentality of someone who thinks like that. She’s the disadvantaged one and can’t even see it.

I think it’s funny

@ButtWormHole

I think it’s funny

This...

Hard to know without knowing more about your relationship.

Depends on your relationship but yes she clearly thinks that, joke or not. Some people can't help their jealous streak even if they're "at the top".

It's a joke. I would not let it wind me up.

Noooo, you are MNing wrong.

OP needs to be incandescent with rage. It's offensive and clearly not a joke because OP has a great sense of humour and this ISN'T funny. It needs to be logged with 101, HR and the local high school (not sure why but that's always the advice).

I've not worked this out yet but somehow installing penguin bollards would definitely help.

It is not a joke. It's a way of putting op in her place

And the immediate reply that comment should’ve been “how can you possibly be paying me too much when you’re paying me the bare minimum you’re legally allowed to??”

I would take it as a joke but you know her better.

We even joke at my work that going to M&S for a sandwich is a ‘fancy’ lunch

Seriously wouldn,t get wound up about that. It was a joke.

@DimidDavilby

What a cunt. At least you know now what she thinks of you- don't be doing her any favours!

Absolutely this!

M&S isn’t as expensive as it was, quality is good and as long as you’re careful you won’t spend too much

Ignore, she’s an idiot

I'm usually of the 'don't take things to heart' school of thought but it just comes across as a really snide comment. The sentiment behind it isn't actually unusual, it's pretty common for people to think that people on lower incomes shouldn't have nice food. It's often dressed up as concern that they must be terribly irresponsible with money if they dare to buy anything other than Asda Smart Price, but there is an underlying sentiment of feeling that they just don't deserve it.

Really?

It’s a joke about M&S, not a comment about you.

@StealthPolarBear

It is not a joke. It's a way of putting op in her place

This is what it felt like.

I'm very good at my job and I work extremely hard but it is obvious that I'm not her favourite person. Still, we have always got along fine before. It just felt off.

@Honeyroar

And the immediate reply that comment should’ve been “how can you possibly be paying me too much when you’re paying me the bare minimum you’re legally allowed to??”

^^ this

I just want to know if it was a yum nut!

But yeah, when she knows she's paying minimum wage, that's a shitty thing to say.

The point is she's in a position of power. It's different from colleagues joking about m&s being fancy or not.

If a male boss said this, I doubt half the people saying it's a joke would say the same. Such statements from a boss can be unsettling to the receiver especially when you can't tell if it was a joke or not.

Unless you're chummy with this woman, I'd believe what she's shown you to be who she is and what she thinks of you, which is that you shouldn't be able to afford m&s for whatever reason.

There must be some epic background to this because this would definitely be taken as a joke in my office - and definitely has at some point (“Oh look at Miss lah-de-dah swanning off to Waitrose for lunch, didn’t realise we were handing out gold plated bonuses. The rest of us plebs will be sharing a turnip from Aldi” etc etc. Alternatively: “it’s not just a [product], it’s an M&S [product] is a legal requirement to say upon encountering any colleague with an M&S bag)

The joke isn’t about you, it’s about the shop.