Even if my boss was joking it's still a horrible thing to say

[CristinaYangsBrain]

I work a minimum wage job. I was chatting to my boss today and I mentioned that I had bought a small food item from M&S and suggested she might like it too.

She stared at me for a few seconds and then said to me "If you're shopping at M&S I'm clearly paying you too much." and then walked off. She wasn't smiling or anything but she does have quite a dry sense of humour usually.

AIBU or is this a really horrible thing for her to say?

Very bitchy comment.

Be ready next time. I would have told her you had to save up for it for a month on your low wages.

@Honeyroar

And the immediate reply that comment should’ve been “how can you possibly be paying me too much when you’re paying me the bare minimum you’re legally allowed to??”

That would be the best response to something like that.

My boss or even other more senior people have said similar to me or others and is always a joke but to be fair it is not because of M&S food and usually something more extravagant

And everyone is on far more than minimum wage. Was usually applied to a graduate or junior role person who turns up with a Hermes tie on which cost about £100 and far more than anyone would pay for. Even those on the big bucks

There’s a lot of family money in my job though. Was just a joke when the older senior people thought what the fuck am I doing or achieving when the associate many rungs below is wearing 3 grand suits, driving an Aston and has just bought a mega pad when they can’t afford it themselves

Noooo, you are MNing wrong
Sorry OP - your boss not nice at all but this comment made me laugh

I used to work as a civilian in a local prison. One day I had some clear out clothes I wanted to give to one of my colleagues. I put them in a paper tote bag. Apparently someone "a manager" noticed me walking in with a Hugo Boss bag. and said that on my minimum asbestos could I afford to buy items from there. I told him i was independently wealthy. His face resembled a smacked arze! 😄

• Wage job not Asbestos FFS!

I've been on the receiving end of some snide comments from bosses in the past. There was a senior partner who once said to me "You LIVE off my work!" I was too taken aback to respond, but never looked at him in the same light afterwards. I think some bosses just view their employees as being necessary overheads that they resent funding, but can't do without.

The other thing I've noticed is that some people have a "kiss up, kick down" attitude. They will laugh at the jokes of people higher up the food chain, and make time to chat nicely with others on the same level as them, but barely say hello to anyone lower down the chain, let alone bother to have a conversation with them (unless they want something). They really do believe that people on the lower income levels are actually a lesser species.

Proves my theory...you don't get to "the top" by being nice.

I would have replied it's literally illegal for you to pay me any less!

@gah2teenagers

I don’t think I could get over that. What a horrible thing to say. The mentality of someone who thinks like that. She’s the disadvantaged one and can’t even see it.

What? Thicker skin most definitely needed!

Just ignore it, or fire a comment straight back at her. It's not something to lose any sleep over.

Would your boss have been offended if the positions had been reversed e.g if you said 'I see you shop at x, you are obviously being paid too much'?

I think the comment is pretty offensive. If it came from a colleague on the same wage it would be a joke but she is in a position of power and is abusing it.

You’re good at your job, work hard, but aren’t her favourite person. My take is she’s intimidated by you and at the same time doesn’t want you to know how good you are at your job. If you do realise this, you’ll find a better one elsewhere.

@Mummyoflittledragon

You’re good at your job, work hard, but aren’t her favourite person. My take is she’s intimidated by you and at the same time doesn’t want you to know how good you are at your job. If you do realise this, you’ll find a better one elsewhere.

Not seeing the intimidation to be honest, the boss owns the business.

Was it Percy Party Pigs? (Misses the point).

@sparklepink

YANBU op, what a horrid thing of her to say. Quit if you are able to. Don't let people speak to you like that. The fact she wasn't smiling says it all.

This advice is almost as helpful as the ‘move’ advice to anyone with a difficult neighbour.

Difficult to know whether this is a ‘ha ha’ joke about M&S (with boss not smiling because, as OP, says , she has a dry sense of humour) or whether it’s as offensive as the op finds it.

@Genderless

The point is she's in a position of power. It's different from colleagues joking about m&s being fancy or not.

If a male boss said this, I doubt half the people saying it's a joke would say the same. Such statements from a boss can be unsettling to the receiver especially when you can't tell if it was a joke or not.

Unless you're chummy with this woman, I'd believe what she's shown you to be who she is and what she thinks of you, which is that you shouldn't be able to afford m&s for whatever reason.

This, word for word.

Of course it's a joke.

Surely we've all heard similar a million times, it's a thing.

New house, new car, new outfit, booking a holiday....'I must be paying you too much.'

Good grief I don't know how some people survive a day, seeing malicious intent everywhere.

And a little dig at M&S, known for being more expensive than other supermarkets.

Phil
I wasn’t meaning the boss was thinking op would get a promotion over her rather that she perhaps sees op as some kind of competition in other areas eg for her organisation or soft skills and so forth.

@StealthPolarBear

It is not a joke. It's a way of putting op in her place

This.

She sounds an absolute arsehole.

You see this all the time with low income or benefits. How dare these people have xyz (normally tv, phone or nails/hair done) when they are claiming top up benefits. It's a way of people putting you in their place and you should be grateful to them for the pittance of minimum (yes literally the bare minimum by law they have to pay you) wage that they pay you. Don't forget to doth your cap as you walk out backwards saying thank you over and over.

Ignore the cow bag of a boss, she's an idiot. I would be petty and keep buying from m&s just to piss her off in future (assuming this wouldn't put you in financial issues.)

Someone once said similar to me when I was on the first rung of the work ladder. Made me question myself at the time. Absolutely no need for it at all. I've held senior positions for years and I would never belittle someone like that. It's her not you op. Xx