To think my bf should have discussed me no longer being his bubble?

[HelpIcantfindaname]

My boyfriend of 3 & a half years & I don't live together but spent every weekend together pre covid.
During the first lockdown he developed COPD & is understandably scared of catching the virus. Once support bubbles were allowed we formed a bubble with our kids, but only saw each socially distanced during term time as I teach young children & there is no social distancing with them.
Now, we usually meet at weekends for a walk, as its a bit cold for sitting in gardens. I did ask if he wanted to form a bubble with someone he could visit properly. This was 2 weeks ago, he said no, he only wanted to bubble with me.
Today though he told me he's been to visit a friend & is going to start taking his son to visit her & her kids. I was puzzled as he is a stickler for not breaking the rules... but throughout our conversation it became apparent that she is now his support bubble & I am the person he can meet for a walk.
Ill be honest - I'm upset. I can't make another bubble as one of my kids is over 18. And you are not meant to change bubbles anyway.
I just thought he could have talked it through with me first. She doesn't work, doesn't go out, her kids are home schooled - but they see their dad who thinks Covid is a conspiracy & doesn't believe in SD or wearing a mask. So he is still taking risks going to hers.
AIBU to think he could have talked this through with me first?

Ummm...I would be questioning the relationship. I think ots over

You seem to be fine with him cheating on you

I think you are not only being reasonable, you're being perhaps too reasonable - I think it's pretty unforgivable that he has decided that he can have contact with someone but it isn't you and didn't even talk to you about it. It would be different if there were compelling reasons to choose the other person (e.g. if he had an elderly relative that needed his support), but even then I'd expect a conversation. I'm sorry to say this but it almost sounds like he's trying to end the relationship without actually being brave enough to come out and say so.

So he's dumped you then?

What a coward he is.

Get some self respect and cut all contact.

I think he’s dumping you...

I'd be wondering why he'd prefer contact with her than his girlfriend tbh.

Hmm, being in a bubble is the least of your problems if you actually like this man.

YABU for taking this bubble nonsense so seriously

I think we need more info on who this woman is

I am sorry you are havimg to deal with this. He is being horrible.

Oh dear OP

Why are you both acting like your single?you have a child, move in together seriously!

Err he’s bubbled up with another woman her kids?

I think he is in a relationship with her.

He’s even been cheating on you a while or he can’t be arsed to be decent and dump you

I don’t think he’s your boyfriend anymore, OP.

Have you spoken to him about why he made this decision (which is unreasonable in itself given you're meant to be in a relationship) but also why he didn't speak to you first?

I agree with the other posters that his actions are thoughtless as best but most likely because he's got feelings for her

I think your missing the obvious thing here.... has he dumped you for this woman then?

@zigaziga

I don’t think he’s your boyfriend anymore, OP.

Yeah, this.

We have taken the rules seriously because of his chest. He is a widower & doesn't want to leave his DS an orphan.
We have plans to live together when the kids leave home rather than subject teenagers to a blended family.
Ive told him I'm upset. He says he loves me & would rather be at my house, but its not safe. I told him after the summer hols I'd sit in his garden & he can stay in the conservatory.
I thought I'd found a good man at last. This was our first row. Is it our last?

Yes sorry he’s with this other person now

And you will be so glad you found out what’s he’s like now and not later on

The woman is his friends ex. He has lots of single mum friends. Before I was never bothered cos he saw me too. Now he's going to see her instead of me. He says we will still meet for walks. He says any thoughts I have about them getting together are in my head, it's not going to happen.
Isn't that what they all say.

I’m going to go against the grain not that I think you’re being unreasonable.
It sounds like you weren’t a bubble in the true sense of it. If you were social distancing and meeting for walks you can still do that now without anything changing so maybe there was no need to talk it through.
Has he done it to give his son more company? I assume she’s a friend and if they don’t go anywhere he’s probably more comfortable being in her house than in yours given your job.
But I do think he should have talked about it with you. I just don’t necessarily think it’s something sinister like other posters

I look at things like this from my own stance and would say if this were me I would not tolerate him being with another woman. How mean of him to do that. How unkind. He's not a keeper is he ?

@HelpIcantfindaname

We have taken the rules seriously because of his chest. He is a widower & doesn't want to leave his DS an orphan. We have plans to live together when the kids leave home rather than subject teenagers to a blended family. Ive told him I'm upset. He says he loves me & would rather be at my house, but its not safe. I told him after the summer hols I'd sit in his garden & he can stay in the conservatory. I thought I'd found a good man at last. This was our first row. Is it our last?

What did he say when you pointed out mixing with the children of a conspiracy theorist who doesn't take any precautions isn't safe?

We were in a bubble in the holidays. We stayed at each others houses then. And planned to again at Christmas. We def called ourselves a bubble.