To think my bf should have discussed me no longer being his bubble?

[HelpIcantfindaname]

My boyfriend of 3 & a half years & I don't live together but spent every weekend together pre covid.
During the first lockdown he developed COPD & is understandably scared of catching the virus. Once support bubbles were allowed we formed a bubble with our kids, but only saw each socially distanced during term time as I teach young children & there is no social distancing with them.
Now, we usually meet at weekends for a walk, as its a bit cold for sitting in gardens. I did ask if he wanted to form a bubble with someone he could visit properly. This was 2 weeks ago, he said no, he only wanted to bubble with me.
Today though he told me he's been to visit a friend & is going to start taking his son to visit her & her kids. I was puzzled as he is a stickler for not breaking the rules... but throughout our conversation it became apparent that she is now his support bubble & I am the person he can meet for a walk.
Ill be honest - I'm upset. I can't make another bubble as one of my kids is over 18. And you are not meant to change bubbles anyway.
I just thought he could have talked it through with me first. She doesn't work, doesn't go out, her kids are home schooled - but they see their dad who thinks Covid is a conspiracy & doesn't believe in SD or wearing a mask. So he is still taking risks going to hers.
AIBU to think he could have talked this through with me first?

Sorry, agree with the posters above.

Or to be generous, he’s being the knight in shining armour helping the poor mum with her kids. Whatever the reason, it’s not looking good.

That is brutal.

@HelpIcantfindaname

We were in a bubble in the holidays. We stayed at each others houses then. And planned to again at Christmas. We def called ourselves a bubble.

Maybe he plans to switch his bubble back then. I am aware that’s not the rules but he may think it’s ok.

When I pointed out her hubby is a conspiracy theorist who doesn't follow the guidance he said he'd just stay in forever then.

He did say he wouod switch the bubble back at Christmas.
Although he's worried about coming here for Christmas as my son may have been out with friend. Slight double standards there re the risks.

I can't work out how to reply to someone... But we don't have kids together. Can see how that may have been misunderstood way I worded it.
I have DD12 & DS32, he has DS14.

Tell him to jog on. Hell either change his behaviour and grovel or he’s sleeping with the home Ed mom.

Why does he think it’s safe to be in this woman’s bubble but not yours?

Essentially he's prioritising his time/contact with her over his time/contact with you.

Ask him how that's ok without even the decency of a discussion?

Because I teach young kids & can't social distance from them. She doesn't work or go out.

You're being played like a violin.
The only justification is you told him not to get close because you teach and this woman didn't in which case you both should have been communicating better but I'm sticking with he's playing you both to see who he prefers to spend Christmas with

So.. you and your kids are a risk, but her and her kids and her covid-conspiracy DH are not risks?

He sounds like a complete pain in the arse.

As others have posted. No matter what the reason, you don’t ditch your girlfriend for some other woman.

I’m afraid he is breaking up with you, no matter what he says, it does sound like he’s just stringing you along.
I’m sorry. It isn’t normal behaviour.

Ditch him, go and have some fun, away from his drama

You plan to live together when the kids leave home? Sounds a bit like he's been stringing you along, having his cake and eating it.
To be in a bubble with another woman should be the final straw, tell him where to go.

It feels like he is playing you! you seem to nice for him op.

I would really have a long hard think if you want to be with this man.

he's playing you both to see who he prefers to spend Christmas with

Unfortunately, I think this is the likeliest scenario.

He's absolutely mugging you off, and dumping you by stealth. What a total clown.

Don't stand for his nonsense, OP, bin him now. Im sorry that he seemed to be the ideal man, but at least you wont have wasted any more time and you will keep your dignity.

I mean, technically it makes sense for him to bubble up with someone else if he doesn’t feel safe doing more than a socially distanced walk with you.

But also, he probably wants to shag her.

He sounds like a right wet wipe, get rid.

Take control of your life. Please don’t wait for someone to decide what happens to you. He’s chosen another woman over you. He can dress it up however he likes but if it walks like a duck and quacks like a duck then it’s a duck. He’s not worth it - you are 💐

So.. you and your kids are a risk, but her and her kids and her covid-conspiracy DH are not risks?

This. God, what a bastard he sounds. I'd cut him lose. You really don't have to put up with such nonsense, OP.

What a very strange man. He is definitely playing you. I'd move on

I didn’t think people were allowed to chop and change their ‘bubbles’, I always thought a single adult could choose another single adult and they had to be a unit until all of this bubble nonsense finally comes to an end... So basically he’s chosen another woman over you and you’re allowing it?

I wouldn’t be sticking around personally, he’s taking you for a ride.

I'd take it that she is his new girlfriend or very soon will be. How mean of him.

Why are you wasting your time and effort on this prick?

Run