To think he was following me?

[Elmo311]

Good evening everyone!

I'm still bloody thinking about this like 3 hours later so I basically wanted opinions on what people think, whether I'm just thinking too much into it!

I took my daughter to the park around 4pm, just a short visit before dinner as the park is about 6 mins walk away.

When we were leaving the park, she decided that she wanted to walk, she's 18months old so the walk was slow! Anyway, a man passed us by and he stared at us, I thought it was weird but maybe he was just thinking that we were in his way and he was annoyed that he had to walk in the grass as I was pushing the buggy and holding her hand and we took up the path.

As we were at the gate to leave the park a couple of mins(?) later he passed by again entering the park , still staring at me.

I carried on out of the park holding my daughters hand and a few mins went by as we were pointing out busses etc, I then put her in the buggy and kept walking towards home, and he passed by AGAIN looking at us! As he turned his head away, he couldn't see me) I actually remember mouthing WTF?

He walked ahead and then turned around to stare at us again and I started to get freaked out so when he turned away I hid behind a Bush next to a house, I then saw him turn around to head back towards us and as he was about to pass I walked out so that he'd be behind us. I think this was to maybe confirm that he was following me? I don't know!

He kept doubling back so whenever he passed me he'd walk back again staring at us. When I got to my house I hid nearby and he couldn't see me so he walked back again.

It was a busy road, luckily. But I'm so freaked out at how vulnerable I felt especially because my daughter was with me. But I also was close to saying "can I help you?" Or something ruder!

Do you find this weird? I even took a photo of him and walking ahead of me incase anything happened I could remember what he was wearing 😫.

What should I have done? All the other adjacent roads were quieter so less safe!

I'm freaking out thinking about what he wanted, whether he wanted to harm us etc :(

Ps I am no expert on how to handle it but when my friend was being followed by a creep (she was 15 at the time) he suddenly reached from behind and grabbed her private parts and she spin round ans shouted very aggressively for him to fuck off and he ran away. Left me with the impression that aggression is probably helpful as it doesn’t play into their fantasy of being the predator stalking someone vulnerable and scared.

I agree with others; trust your instincts.

I was followed once, when far from home. I clocked a man staring at me in a large shop, and was alarmed enough to go round to a different exit, checking behind me to see if he was following, but he didn't seem to be. I got outside, crossed a main road, checking behind me all the time, and stepped onto an escalator. When I got to the top I looked behind me and he was on the step below me, smiling. Luckily the place was crowded and I managed to lose him, but it was heart-stopping knowing he'd managed to stay so close without my knowing.

However, it's extremely unlikely that this man will look out for you and follow you again. My understanding is that most crimes are not premeditated.

I'd also say trust your guy on this one. It happens all too often I'm afraid.

Three times it's happened to me but the most notable was when my toddler was with me. Like you, I felt very vulnerable and ended up running towards a couple for their help.

There is something about the male gaze. If your instinct said it was off, then trust it. Never hide somewhere out of sight though - head to somewhere busy. Knock on doors if necessary.

I’d report to 101 non emergency police. They may already have other reports.

@stackemhigh I also once jumped in a taxi to escape being followed, and the guy jumped in my taxi with me. I was alone with my 1 year old son, on the way home after a family party.

I had this once when a lollipop man from near us who I didn’t know started following me home and talk to me even though it was obvious I wasn’t engaging . I just faced him and said ‘are you following me or something ‘ as bold as I could amd he scarpered off . Not sure if that was the right thing but seemed right at the time .

I wish these men would just sort their shit out. Fucking hell. We just know that these aren't one off incidents.

Even DH says so - he'll call any man out on this kind of behaviour - they all need to.

Yes I have had similar happen to me staring from when I reached my teens.

A notable one was when on a bus on the way home from work. A man a few seats ahead of me on the bus kept turning round to stare at me. I avoided his gaze by staring out of the window and pretended not to notice. I could see him out of the corner of my eye, as I turned ahead I accidentally made eye contact he and mouthed I’ll kill you whilst miming slitting his wrists. I turned to look at the woman sat the other side to see if she had seen or noticed, but she was intently staring out the window too, probably in a bid to also ignore him. I got up and made my way to the front of the bus and stood near to the driver as my stop was coming up anyway, and I wanted to be ready to run. Sure enough this man gets off at my stop, I didn’t wait to see if he followed me round the corner and just ran like hell all the way back to my flat. I cried when I finally made it and bolted my door and put on the chain lock.

Another time I was traveling home after popping in to see my boyfriend for a drink at one of his gigs (he was a DJ) and he’d be working until well into the early hours and I didn’t want to stay that long. I was in the middle of a busy city centre and walking towards a taxi rank when I became aware of a man following me. I crossed the road a couple of times and he still followed, so I rang my boyfriend and explained the situation and asked him to stay on the phone with me until I felt safe. Luckily I spotted a black cab with the light so I jumped in the black cab and spent a fortune getting home. The man following stopped watched me jump into the cab and just stood there staring at the me/the cab until we turned the corner. I could have carried on walking to the cheaper taxi rank, but was lucky to see the black cab. I was already panicking about what to do if I got to the rank and had to stop and que up which was usual. My boyfriend totally didn’t take it seriously at all, and suggested I was being paranoid. I split up with him after that as he kept trying to push me off the phone telling me not to be daft, whilst I was bloody terrified. I did consider walking into one of the busy bars and probably would have done that had I not managed to catch that black cab.

Always always trust you instincts in these situations. I always try my best to be aware of who is around me and what is going on around me and make sure to teach my DC the same.

It's disgusting that there are so few men who are able to see what we see. So few who understand how terrifying it can be for us and because they don't experience it and don't do it themselves, they think we're exaggerating about what happened or paranoid about what could.

If you were to ask a man what's the worst that could happen on a blind date his answer would be something like, "She would be boring and stiffs me with the bill.

Ask a woman the same question and her answer is: "That I would be raped and murdered"

I have been followed a few times. Once in holiday as a teenager with a mate she was being a cow and I stormed out of the apartment. I took a wrong turn and ended up on a street with no one there. Two guys passed me on the other side of the street, one nudged the other and they crossed over and were walking behind me. I dodged into the first pub I saw and stayed for a while then left behind a group of people who were luckily going in my direction.

The next time was on holiday again, their was an older teen guy who kept staring at us and others. On the last night we were checking the bus pick up list for the next day and he came and stood really close. We then walked into town for dinner and he followed as we walked along the street then as we went shopping in the marina area as there were a lot of little stalls set up. Once we went into a restaurant he disappeared it was slightly bizarrely but from his behaviour I think he may have had some learning difficulties so we just ignored him as I don’t think he was harmful. I think he was just curious about people.

The third time was a weird guy at the train station. DH was late picking me up and it was a nice evening so I sat next to the bus stop on a low wall. A guy came up and engaged me in conversation, I felt a bit uneasy somehow and he had reflective sunglasses on so I couldn’t see his eyes. I stood up as I’m really tall and was taller than him, he kept talking and I was aware that their was no one around as no trains were due. He kept moving closer and I kept moving backwards. He seemed to be enjoying my discomfort slightly. I have never felt so glad to see my lift turn up. He just made me feel really creeped out and I was desperate to get rid of him.

Meh just don’t understand the fear women feel in general even in daylight.

I think a couple of people mentioned Pepper Spray on here, and I did look into it and it's classed as an illegal firearm in the Uk. So it got me thinking how else can I protect myself?
Anyone know of any alternatives?

I don't have keys as the door to our house has a pin pad!

And again, thanks to everyone who commented with their advice and experiences.