To think he was following me?

[Elmo311]

Good evening everyone!

I'm still bloody thinking about this like 3 hours later so I basically wanted opinions on what people think, whether I'm just thinking too much into it!

I took my daughter to the park around 4pm, just a short visit before dinner as the park is about 6 mins walk away.

When we were leaving the park, she decided that she wanted to walk, she's 18months old so the walk was slow! Anyway, a man passed us by and he stared at us, I thought it was weird but maybe he was just thinking that we were in his way and he was annoyed that he had to walk in the grass as I was pushing the buggy and holding her hand and we took up the path.

As we were at the gate to leave the park a couple of mins(?) later he passed by again entering the park , still staring at me.

I carried on out of the park holding my daughters hand and a few mins went by as we were pointing out busses etc, I then put her in the buggy and kept walking towards home, and he passed by AGAIN looking at us! As he turned his head away, he couldn't see me) I actually remember mouthing WTF?

He walked ahead and then turned around to stare at us again and I started to get freaked out so when he turned away I hid behind a Bush next to a house, I then saw him turn around to head back towards us and as he was about to pass I walked out so that he'd be behind us. I think this was to maybe confirm that he was following me? I don't know!

He kept doubling back so whenever he passed me he'd walk back again staring at us. When I got to my house I hid nearby and he couldn't see me so he walked back again.

It was a busy road, luckily. But I'm so freaked out at how vulnerable I felt especially because my daughter was with me. But I also was close to saying "can I help you?" Or something ruder!

Do you find this weird? I even took a photo of him and walking ahead of me incase anything happened I could remember what he was wearing 😫.

What should I have done? All the other adjacent roads were quieter so less safe!

I'm freaking out thinking about what he wanted, whether he wanted to harm us etc :(

I think you did the right thing, when my dd was 5 we were walking down a long back passage way in our village one we walk every day for school but it was 5pm after dance class and this strange older man was right behind us I had a weird feeling so phoned my hubby the man tried getting hold of dds hand and pulling her I screamed and luckily one of our neighbours was walking his dog coming towards us the dodgy man let go and went back the way he came
It was so scary I’m a big lady and can hold my own but I froze we still walk that way my school she’s 10 now and wants to start walking on her own y6 but no way is she walking that way she can go the long way round maybe in the spring term!

I totally understand OP.

I feel much more nervous in these kinds of situations if my daughter is with me. Pre kids I was pretty spunky, and probably would have shouted at the man to fuck off in the hopes that it might get him to back off. I could run fast and had done a bit of boxing, and that was enough for me to feel like I could take those risks. But once I had my daughter that completely changed. I now feel much more afraid if these situations occur, and tend more towards hiding. I do think having young children with you makes you feel much more vulnerable.

@Crazycakelady17 god that's scary, I'm so sorry you and daughter went through that.

OP some posters have given you a bit of a hard time for hiding in the bush, but you do what reals right to do at the time. I know, it's an awful horrid feeling and it'd not something you are ever prepared for. Of course you didn't want him knowing which house you were going to. I've been followed a few times and it does mess with your head. Because you don't know the motive for them doing it. And I reckon that some do it just for kicks.

I hid underneath a clothes rail in a shop once, so hiding in a bush seems logical to me.

You may be the most beautiful woman he has ever seen

So fucking what!?? Doesn't give him the right to follow her!

That was for NetflixWatcher

Sounds really unsettling, totally understand why you are rattled! Is it possible he has some kind of learning disability? I remember a man who lived local to where I grew up and everyone locally knew he had a tendency to stare and become a bit fixated on people when he passed them. Once he even moved seats on the bus to sit and stare at me, which completely freaked me out! As far as I know he was harmless.

I think I'd have asked 'can I help you?' In your position, as long as there were other people nearly.

@CarbsAreNotMyFriend Love your username! They aren't my friend either!

It could be possible that he has a learning disability, but I didn't get that kind of vibe.

I kinda wish I had asked him something now to see what he would've done. I'm worried he stopped following as he managed to confirm where I lived. I also now wish I had crossed the road and seen what he had done then!

I wanted to get home quickly because I didn't want my daughter to wet herself, I felt pressured to lose him quickly so I could get home for her.

@Elmo311 If only they were our friend, can you imagine??!

That makes it very strange behaviour then. And odd that he was so blatant about watching you, you'd think he would be more discrete? It would be a shame to stop going to the park, if I were you I'd stay in busy streets and if you see him acting this way again ask him if you can help him (as long as other people are nearby) x

@CarbsAreNotMyFriend It would be heaven :)

I'm hoping I never see him again! I'll be watching my back for a while now though. It's such a shame 'cos the park is so bloody convenient!

Thanks for your support :)

#imisscarbs

@Elmo311 Take care, I also hope you never see him again! X

If he made you feel uncomfortable there is a reason. I'm on the Facebook page of my childhood area and currently there is a small group of men who have been taking photos of children in the local park and trying to engage with them. The police are aware and are trying to catch up with them but apparently Friday they walked up to a woman with a pushchair, said her child was cute and when she tried to walk away one said give child or we hurt you. She screamed like mad and they ran off. So yes it does happen and yes you do need to report to 101 and make sure they take it seriously.
At 17, I was on a sixth form trip to London to the houses of parliament. Got off the train around 6pm and started to make my way home, it was getting dark. Didn't have mobile phones at the time but as I said bye to a couple of girls I became aware of a guy behind me.
Did a test to see if I was being silly by crossing the street and back again and sure enough he did the same.
He then got right up calling me "sexy baby" and asking why I didn't stop and let him kiss me
He then tried to grab my elbow, there was a side entrance alley to a building he was trying to direct me to, so I said, no, I have a boyfriend go away.
Never been in a situation like it before and was pretty scared. I started to walk as fast as I could and he was getting angry at me.
I saw an older lady up ahead in her front garden so I got to her gate and said "oh hello nan can I come in", I must have looked scared shitless as she whispered "is he following you?"I nodded and she let me in. He still stood outside shouting "come on baby" whilst I waited for my dad as the lady let me use her phone. I was in tears. Police were informed but I don't think they collared him.
It put me off even walking to sixth form for weeks.

Please report it. He maybe on a register somewhere. You could save someone from something happening to them

I was followed along with another mum from my child’s nursery during a nursery trip a year or so ago, in the middle of a city centre, in the middle of the day! We both had our young children with us, no idea what his intentions were. I’m always aware of what’s going on around me and felt very scared but the other mum hadn’t noticed. I noticed him smiling at us and our children quite a lot as he walked past us and thought nothing of it. My son’s shoe lace came undone so I stopped walking and he stopped behind us, so he’d obviously turned around to walk behind us as soon as he passed us. I didn’t realise it was the same man at first and said “oh, sorry”, thinking that I must have stopped directly in front of him on the pavement t and he’d had to come to a stop before he tripped over us, but then I noticed that he was actually way too far away from us to have to stop. So I was looking at him expecting him to go around us, but he didn’t... he just stood right there waiting for me to carry on walking with a dead eyed smile on his face. After a little while he must have realised that I was looking at him and wondering why he hadn’t carried on walking, so he crossed over to the other side as though he was walking off, but I could see him watching us in the reflection of all the glass office buildings. As soon as we started walking again, he crossed back over behind us, thinking that I hadn’t noticed. It was fairly crowded and I managed to manoeuvre us between to groups of people so that he couldn’t get near, and he gave up. He looked totally normal other than the creepy, unfaltering smile as he stood behind staring at us. Looked like a young, attractive professional from a nearby office.

I’ve been followed quite a few times and I think your hiding plan was sensible. I’ve also done things like crossing over at a point where they can’t follow without it being obvious, or walking up somebody’s drive as though I live there. Happened to be walking near a friend’s house one time so I went in there. I’ve asked whether I can stand with a group of people before and told them what’s happening, and people are usually happy to help. And I’ve also just run away and screamed in the past! Not all of these are so practical when you have a young child with you. A man at a bus stop was behaving strangely and inching closer and closer to me recently, so I went into the shop next to it and he walked all around the front of the windows peering around the posters to look at me and wink. I think he just enjoyed making me uncomfortable. I wanted to shout at him but nobody else would have noticed his very subtle behaviour and I thought the shop was the best option. Definitely always trust your instincts and I would have thought exactly the same as you.

But look, you had your wits about you and managed to keep yourself and your child safe. You dealt with it just fine.

Hard to tell what his intentions were, but I would have been worried too and probably asked him if he was lost.

It’s possible it was all coincidence and he actually was lost or looking for his dog or something. Or he could have had MH problems or a learning disability and not realised he was scaring you.

If it was 6pm I’m guessing it was dark. Could he have been worried about you and checking you were safe? What sort of area do you live in?

I had similar late at night once, and yes he was following me. He tried to grab me in the end. I pretended to be ok with it then ran into a pub to escape.

I read somewhere that it is not policy to take the same route every day /time .Might be wise to go elsewhere for a while ? Shouldnt be necessary really but sadly is often so. It is now dark by around 4pm dont forget .I have had dogs for a long time now ,and will usually avoid any where too lonely or off the beaten track .We have had flashers in our park as well been reported but not sure what has been done TBH.

@FortunesFave she was clearly joking and it raised a smile with the OP....

AwaAnBileYerHeid Not really a joking matter though is it?

Isn't it awful that almost each and every one of us has a similar story to tell, and worse still, it's not just one story. One time in our lives. We all have a handful. Some mild and some very much not.

My DH was quite disbelieving of me when one night I was recounting all my physical attacks by men (mostly back in my nightclub days when staring and following was the least of the shit we had to deal with). DH acted like I was exaggerating when I told him about all the boob grabs, forced hands in my underwear on a dance floor, the being physically dragged away from my friends by a strange man and the being spiked or followed home. He said, "No way! Surely they were just messing about. That stuff doesn't happen like that" When I recounted the time a car full of lads followed my best friend and I, stopped, asked for a light and when friend when to (stupidly) hand over her lighter they pulled her into the car. Like something out of a movie! Arse sticking out of the window, legs flailing while I tried to drag her back. She freed herself as the car started to speed off and hurt herself in the process.

And because we were tipsy 17 year olds and this shit WAS NOT THAT UNUSAL, we never reported it. It was just one of those close calls we women have so often.

I'm older and take far less shit now and rather than saying 'Fuck off" and just pushing a handsy stranger off in a club I'd probably rip him a new one and call the police.

If (gods forbid) it happens again, could you get a picture of him by saying to dd (in a loud voice) “ look at the lovely tree/slide/pond; let’s take a picture and send it straight to daddy!!” and make sure he’s in shot?

I'm on the Facebook page of my childhood area and currently there is a small group of men who have been taking photos of children in the local park and trying to engage with them

This has happened a few times in my area now. A very specific group. Sometimes with a few women too as they think it gives a false sense of security. The fact they are going after small children who are WITH their parents is terrifying. It's like they are showing vids or pics of kids to whoever they are working for. To control gangs like this takes money. The only reason these children are wanted is to be trafficked for disgusting men.
That they are doing this in the UK, in broad daylight and in public places should scare everyone.

After some of these comments I think I'm going to be even more paranoid now! (And I am already bad!)
Thank you to everyone for your stories and advice. I'm sad that so many of us have had experiences like this, I'm going to try to raise my son to not be a creep!

It sounds very odd. He seems to have been following you. Did he see where you live? Could you possibly remind him of someone he used to know? I think I would avoid park with dd unless I had someone else with me or meet me there.

It is quite common ☹️ if this has never happened to you before then you are lucky. He probably was following you, yes. I could speculate on his intentions but there is no point. Nothing good.

Glad you’re ok and yes maybe avoid that park for a few weeks / keep a close eye on your child ie she plays where you can see her when out and about. He’ll probably get bored and find a new area.

I would absolutely trust your instincts on this kind of thing.