To think he was following me?

[Elmo311]

Good evening everyone!

I'm still bloody thinking about this like 3 hours later so I basically wanted opinions on what people think, whether I'm just thinking too much into it!

I took my daughter to the park around 4pm, just a short visit before dinner as the park is about 6 mins walk away.

When we were leaving the park, she decided that she wanted to walk, she's 18months old so the walk was slow! Anyway, a man passed us by and he stared at us, I thought it was weird but maybe he was just thinking that we were in his way and he was annoyed that he had to walk in the grass as I was pushing the buggy and holding her hand and we took up the path.

As we were at the gate to leave the park a couple of mins(?) later he passed by again entering the park , still staring at me.

I carried on out of the park holding my daughters hand and a few mins went by as we were pointing out busses etc, I then put her in the buggy and kept walking towards home, and he passed by AGAIN looking at us! As he turned his head away, he couldn't see me) I actually remember mouthing WTF?

He walked ahead and then turned around to stare at us again and I started to get freaked out so when he turned away I hid behind a Bush next to a house, I then saw him turn around to head back towards us and as he was about to pass I walked out so that he'd be behind us. I think this was to maybe confirm that he was following me? I don't know!

He kept doubling back so whenever he passed me he'd walk back again staring at us. When I got to my house I hid nearby and he couldn't see me so he walked back again.

It was a busy road, luckily. But I'm so freaked out at how vulnerable I felt especially because my daughter was with me. But I also was close to saying "can I help you?" Or something ruder!

Do you find this weird? I even took a photo of him and walking ahead of me incase anything happened I could remember what he was wearing 😫.

What should I have done? All the other adjacent roads were quieter so less safe!

I'm freaking out thinking about what he wanted, whether he wanted to harm us etc :(

I'd trust your gut on something like this, i always think if something made you feel 'off' about a scenario than it's best to err on the side of caution.

It would have made me feel anxious.

4pm is far too late for me to be out alone with my 18 month old atm just because of how dusky/dark it would be getting at that time

Tragic that women have to think like this.

That sounds beyond suspicious and I'd have bend worried too. Definitely report it tomorrow, especially as you have a picture of him.

I would also urge you to report.
The police would want to be aware.
You might be helping someone else.

It could be that he was eyeing up my possessions, I've got a double buggy - left son at home with his dad. I'm potty training (early I know but she's been watching her brother) so it was the first time I headed out with her in a week and it was just a short trip so to build confidence with going out and not having an accident.
I had the potty on the other part of the buggy in a Tesco bag, so he could have been curious about that, but the potty was visible!

I don't usually take her out at that time at all, and the park was actually fairly busy.

I will definitely report it as it has really made me feel anxious and I feel ridiculous that I was hiding but I wanted to somehow confirm he was actually following me, and he kept doubling back and staring as us, it was horrible.

Next time I will definitely call my other half, I think I didn't because I was so close to home and because he was with our son so I didn't want him to bring him out etc

There was a couple walking their dog that I could've spoken to but they were already suspicious of me and thought I was acting strange! I could tell as they would turn around and look at me whenever I stopped walking.

I remember the horrible feeling of realising I was being followed once around a large bookshop. My heart was racing as it felt so sinister yet to everyone else they wouldn't have noticed - except my sister and a guy in front who probably overhead me telling her in a hushed but scared voice. He made some excuse and let me jump ahead in line...as the man was trying to join line to stand behind us (the line set up was very open and he'd been standing off to side staring, its how my sis noticed). He sculked off when we rejoined her husband and fam and left like he was just a normal guy. You want to freeze and run at same time. I would've done what you did. Your danger senses were triggered for a reason and are usually never wrong about this sort of thing. Definately join people if it happens again in future. And let someone you trust know and get them to check on you tonight etc if they can. Xxx

Very rarely do I walk past someone, or watch their actions and get that flustered, anxious feeling. So when it happens, I take notice and act accordingly. Obviously he could just be a normal person going about his day but it does sound weird.

Not that its any better but i would imagine if he was about to do dodgy it would probably be a mugging. Sadly women with children especially with buggies are easy targets for bag/phone snatching.

YANBU at all OP, that sounds very scary. Similar things have happened to me in the past, though thankfully before DC. The first time I walked straight to the police station, which made the guy disappear pretty quickly... the second I called DH to come and meet me (as we drove off the guy gave me the most chilling stare, which confirmed my gut feeling that he’d been up to no good). Now I’m older I always look out for men doing this sort of thing to younger women in case they need someone to step in and pretend to be a long lost friend or someone!

Please call 101 and report the creep - he may well be doing this to others, and the fact he was staring at your DD is extremely worrying. I’d also avoid that park for a little while. Hope you’re not too freaked out

I would be worried. And I would have been a bit scared in that situation. I'd avoid going there at similar time of day or with any regular (so predictable) pattern going forward. I would report it. The biggest thing I think is you have instincts for a reason, trust them. I hate that we have to think like this but better safe than sorry.

Having lived in a rough area most of my life I still use the "oh is that daddy/grandad/auntie come let's go see them" line.

Its depressing really.

All I'm gonna say is protect your daughter and never take your eyes off of her allways be by her side don't ever let her run off someone could grab her in two seconds she's so small I've seen it happen before there's a lot of weirdos and bad people out there. Have you heard about that man in London taking little girls into alleyways and making them do sexual things putting his hands over there mouths.
It's disgusting the things that go on in the world these days. If you ever suspect your being followed never go home if you see him again and he does it again report him you did right taking a picture of him if it were me I'd of probably said something to him

I'm not sure calling someone is the right thing to do in a similar situation. Finding other people nearby would be better.
Also 4 pm this time of the year is too late in certain areas. I still remember when I went to a park near our old house and noticed around 4 that all the other mums and kids have disappeared, bundled mine into the pushchairs and scattered home as soon as I could.

@Givemeabreak88

Yep, why would I hide in a bush? You do sound overly anxious saying you are scared to go back to the park is quite extreme

Give over. I think it’s perfectly understandable that the OP may be anxious considering the unsettling experience she’s had.

Can you carry pepper spray or an alarm when you go to the park? Unfortunately some people are dangerous and this man was not acting in any way normal!!!

I definitely won't be going to the park at that time again, I don't usually do it at all, just wanted to get her out of the house for a short time.

There were lots of other parents and kids in the park. We met a child the same age as my daughter, and they left the same time as us so I guess I felt ok to be there at that time.
If there were hardly any people in the park I definitely would've left.

The man’s behaviour is deeply suspicious and weird. Do contact 101 and report (with the pic - it may be useful). Having read The Gift of Fear, after seeing it recommended on here numerous times, I would say his intentions were to cause you some sort of upset or harm so I would avoid the park for a while.

@GarlicSoup Thank you for that :)

When this happened to me, I stopped and walked back towards the man, and asked him if I could help him. He shook his head and crossed the road and walked away. I had my toddler sons with me and I refused to be intimidated by a creepy bloke who apparently decided it would be funny to scare me by walking behind me.

Give over. I think it’s perfectly understandable that the OP may be anxious considering the unsettling experience she’s had.

Fair enough but not going to that park again is ott imo, he’s hardly going to be standing around waiting for her to go back again

I think some men just get off on the following thing. It makes them feel powerful to watch women get scared. It happens so often. I wouldn’t recommend it but when I was followed late at night once I started screaming at the guy and telling him what a weird loser he was. I’ve never seen some one skulk off so quickly.

I make a very obvious point of looking at them straight in the face. I've had a few such as someone trying to grab me, in the middle of a busy park at lunchtime, and hurl abuse after me as I dodged, said don't touch me and walked very quickly away. I had workman follow me for a few blocks back to the office and get in the lift with me. He didn't select a floor, as if he was going to the same place as me. Which he couldn't have been as we weren't doing any construction work, the company I worked for had the top 4 floors of the building and the floor I was going to was never used by clients. I was so happy to see my manager as the lift doors opened. That one was really creepy.

@Givemeabreak88 I said I was scared to go back, doesn't mean I won't go back. But I am now worried about it incase I do see him again, I'm not thinking that he's going to camp out waiting there for me to come back.

I'd ring the police and report it. Give them the picture.

@Givemeabreak88

Give over. I think it’s perfectly understandable that the OP may be anxious considering the unsettling experience she’s had.

Fair enough but not going to that park again is ott imo, he’s hardly going to be standing around waiting for her to go back again

@Givemeabreak88 how do you know that... you can't say oh "he won't" people have done that before and there's a lot of weirdos out there

I was followed from a shopping centre car park with my baby, followed me in my car for over a mile then boxed me in when I parked! Really horrible behaviour. I called him out and called him a pervert and all sorts, he drove away. I broke down afterwards. Horrible man.