Sister visiting my parents during lockdown

[Toobusytowee]

Please help me decide if IABU because I can’t work out if I am justifiably angry or if my sister is being selfish. I will be guided by you, thanks.

My sister lives abroad with her husband and three children. They were last in the UK back in January and our parents haven’t seen them or their new baby that was born in Feb since then.

They have bought plane tickets to come over and have a holiday and spend Christmas with my parents, staying in their house. They will be arriving here at the end of November.

My concerns are- our parents are over 65 and both of them have health issues. They have been following the rules and hardly venturing into public places. My parents find it very hard to say no to anything involving their children.

My sister has said they will self isolate for 14 days per the rules and will not see anyone or go anywhere. However, they will be travelling on a plane for 6 hours, passing through an airport, having a lift off a family member in their car for 30 mins to my parents’ home.

My sister and mum thinks all this is ok. I personally think it is madness. They are bringing risk to my parents and breaking the law by having a holiday and mixing households.

I feel my sister is being selfish and putting her wish to ‘have a rest and eat pork and drink wine’ above the health of our parents and the risks to the community from their actions.

Please tell me if I am justified in my concerns or if I need to butt out.

Thanks.

@Thewithesarehere they won't be breaking the law.

While, ultimately, it is up to your parents as to what risk they want to take, I agree that it is extremely selfish of your DS to do this. They won't be self-isolating, they will be staying with your parents and putting them at risk.

Tbh, I would be saying something to your DS and discouraging her. Especially as she's coming for a selfish reason.

@FlibblyFlobblyFloo
@MadinMarch I don’t appreciate being called a moron. You can’t seem to see the difference between visiting a family member and returning home in a day or even a weekend and MOVING IN WITH THEM FOR OVER A MONTH thus forming one household bubble. Not a support bubble, not a childcare bubble. Just a household. 1.

They're visiting for a month. Then they will return to their home. What part of 'visitors' do you not get?
I stand by all the points in my previous post.

@FlibblyFlobblyFloo for the record I completely understand and agree with you.

Parents choice not yours and showing off their baby...... really?

What @Applebloss0m said. What if they have it, pass it on and one of the parents gets really ill or worse. How will DS feel then?

Your parents have obviously okayed this, so none of your business.

Your parents can decide for themselves. Don’t be guided what mn says. Be guided by your parents.
However your ds saying she is coming over because she wants a rest is taking the piss. I’d be hurt by this. She’s an adult why should the parents pick up her slack.

Thank you @AnImposter. I didn’t appreciate being called a moron. I thought I was making perfect sense.

Sister is BU for eating pork and not turkey for Christmas

YANBU OP.

My db has come up with the bright idea of coming over for Christmas, staying in an Air BnB, and having his two adult children, who live in their own households and have formed their own bubbles, to go and stay. He thinks I am going to take our 80 year old, asthmatic mother, to see them all.

Db currently lives in one of the worst countries in the EU for COVID.

If DM wants to sea him, then she goes alone. Dh has Type 2, I have an autoimmune disease, and neither of us wants it. If DM gets it, guess who will be looking after her? Not db!!

I expect the OP can see that if her parents get COVID, she'll be the one stuck doing the caring, after her sister has gone back to KSA.

YANBU at all, can’t believe so many people have said the opposite.

I don’t think people understand the whole ‘bubble’ thing at all. It’s supposed to be two single people forming a bubble to support each other so single people don’t spend weeks alone again. It doesn’t mean two different families with four adults getting together for a jolly over Christmas. It’s not difficult to understand and perhaps if people stopped bending and breaking the rules we wouldn’t have so many bloody daily cases and deaths.

Your sister is putting your parents at risk given their age and health status. That’s obviously her choice and her conscience if they do get ill.

YANBU! They are breaking the rules and putting your parents at risk. I can't believe so many people think this is OK. It is actually quite staggering how many people don't seem to understand the rules or don't think they apply to them.

Far from it @Mia1415 , I understand the rules and follow them.

But it's both parents and DSIS that are breaking the rules, not just one of them.

I also understand that I cannot make others follow the rules, I understand they have to make their own choices.

Which all of these adults are doing.

Perhaps OP,s DIS should ask someone working in a civic wArd, where they're running on empty and desperately stressed, whether they think a decision voluntarily of increasing their workload is a good idea.

OP I think that your concern for your parents is not as strong as your resentment towards your sister.

@Bookworming

Far from it @Mia1415* , I understand the rules and follow them.

But it's both parents and DSIS that are breaking the rules, not just one of them.

I also understand that I cannot make others follow the rules, I understand they have to make their own choices.

Which all of these adults are doing.*

You obviously DON'T understand the rules if you believe that it's not breaking lockdown rules because OP's parents and her dsis are in agreement that she (dsis) can visit.
Making 'their own choices' is not following the rules, it's making their own rules, which are blatently not following the lockdown regulations.
I despair that so many people seem to not be able to understand what is required and why it is required.
I hope you don't come on here complaining you needed a hospital bed in a few weeks/months time, when you or a loved one need one (for ANY illness or accident).

@MadinMarch read my post m, I DO understand the rules!

You clearly DON'T understand the rules as you think just DSIS is breaking the rules, both parties are!

IF I PUT THIS IN CAPITALS WILL YOU UNDERSTAND IT BETTER!

I know the rules and follow them as I've said, I said I can't make others comply, it's quite simple to understand. I didn't anywhere say they weren't breaking the rules, again I said both parties were!

And the passive aggressive I hope you don't need a hospital bed etc, is NASTY!!!