To be sick of my toddler trashing my house?

[gchali]

Quite honestly I can't cope with the daily mess. Any sort of untidiness just gives me the worst anxiety and I don't know how to deal with it at the moment his favourite thing to do at the moment is to pull all of the cushions off the sofa and pile them all up in the middle of the room!

How can I stop him from doing this? Or am I resigned to the fact that he's a toddler and this is just how it's going to be? Arghh!

I agree with a previous poster that it would be easier to deal with if you could go to toddler groups, soft play etc instead of being in all day

@37weekswithno2 Absolutely, I was gutted when soft play closed. It was perfect for him to run off some steam

@gchali chat to your GP again if you feel like there's been no improvement. Can you get a referral for any sort of therapy?

With toys you could try bringing a small amount in at a time, giving him freedom to play before putting them away.

It might help you cope if you plan your day around different activities and knowing you can tidy up after that activity is over.

How old is your toddler? They seem to be into deconstruction, wondering if some specific toys might help rather than targeting the cushions.

To be sick of my toddler trashing my house?

his favourite thing to do at the moment is to pull all of the cushions off the sofa and pile them all up in the middle of the room 🤣🤣🤣😭

Your toddler is just playing. Didn't we all build houses and dens using chairs and pillows etc?

Lol I remember those days. We did tidy up time after dinner so they’d help put everything back together, then watch a show and did bath and bedtime.

Now I have teenagers and it’s different messes but just as bad and for some reason more frustrating because I think, I didn’t raise these children to be mess monsters.

Hi everyone, have you read sobsanta's thread about her wanting a handhold because of her DD 2 was in hospital? I really recommend you reading the thread and believe me the mess and destruction won't be an issue. X

Any sort of untidiness just gives me the worst anxiety

Sorry but what were you expecting when you had a child, that there would be no child-related untidiness? Sounds like your toddler isn't even causing much untidiness, a few cushions on the floor. Children often create varying degrees of untidiness/mess/mayhem (even just doing crafts, eating etc) during the day, which is then tidied away at the end of the day. It's quite unrealistic to expect complete tidiness at all times, all day.

How are you planning to deal with your anxiety? I see that you're on ADs, but they're not helping, so you need to try something else.

My older three were born within three years so I had three under three at one stage and then a 1, 2 and 3 year old at another stage. I honestly just had to let it go, my house was a disgrace most of the time but I just had to ignore it to keep my sanity. It was only tidy when they were in bed.

Toddlers love making mess, it’s totally normal and healthy. You honestly have to learn to look past it.

Some of the replies on here are really unhelpful. What’s happened to good old fashioned commiseration for a mum who just needs to let off a bit of steam? Parenting a toddler is bloody hard work OP & you do frequently experience feelings of exasperation/exhaustion/anxiety. Perhaps those saying really insightful things like “it’s only cushions,” or “it’s not exactly trashing the house,” or even more patronising “what did you think it would be like/how are you going to cope in the future” etc etc have forgotten just how knackering and demoralising it is.

I sympathise! I have a toddler myself & I live in a very undesirable state. However much I try, I just can’t always reconcile myself to the constant mess. It is dispiriting but it is also just a short stage in their lives. It will pass soon enough, try not to worry.

Please try to embrace him playing in this way. Help him build a den out of the cushions and throws. When he loses interest then make a cheerful game of putting it all back neat and tidy together.

You need to reframe it in your head a bit.

@pizzamummy I've just read the update on the thread. Wow I feel like such an idiot for feeling this way, I won't ever take the mess for granted again. Heartbreaking 💔

You need to become zen about this, because like other's have said, it is not fair on your dc to constrain them unnecessarily - tell yourself that the more (appropriate) freedom they have to move around at this age the cleverer and happier they will be. You also need to get zen because as they get older, they do learn to not draw on walls and won't need to create chaos all the time...but... man, they get better at wrecking things without meaning to. And then they get to be teenagers and will have parties in your house when you are aren't around and there will be spilt alcohol and cig burns and knickers left in beds. Actually, thinking about it, the only thing you should do now is run. Run for the hills. While you can. When he isn't looking. Ok - that is an overreaction. Can you buy a little wooden wendy house and put a padlock on it and that could be your safe space?

I know what you mean; I tidy up around DD even though I know it’s pointless but I wait until she’s moved on to something else as I don’t want her stop her exploring and being creative.

My toddler is the same, he actually does trash the house. He draws on walls, pulls doors off kitchen cupboards, climbs up onto shelves and pulls pictures down, has broken 8 plates in the last fortnight. We have baby proofed with gates, fences, locks on all cupboards (he breaks them off though) and we've had to remove all chairs and anything he can climb. The only real solution is nursery

Sorry, on a serious note I think maybe see your GP again. It is really good that you are recognising your anxiety about it. Even if you can't get to soft play, taking a toddler out for a long walk is going to help both of you a lot.

@pizzamummy. I get what you are trying to do by giving perspective, but I'm not sure that linking to that particular thread is appropriate. It is new and raw and a family has just been destroyed, so whilst i get that it makes you see things with new eyes, I don't think it should be getting used as a kind of 'ha - you think you have things bad, but look at this!'. I know that's not your intention, but it does come off a bit like that.

I really feel even more terrible now after reading the other thread

I feel your pain, it's endless isn't it. My toddler DD runs around shouting 'trash' while she's doing it because her older sister taught her trashing. The only thing I find that helps at the moment is taking her out for long walks to burn off her energy early in the day and after she's had a nap.

You sound overly controlling. Cushions in the middle of the room is not a mess, it's a play in the process. You must deal with your anxiety because the mess won't stop any time soon

Mine likes to get every single toy he owns and throw them behind the sofa.
Drives me insane! At least I can’t see them there though.

Don't get me wrong anyone. I was telling off DS as he was throwing his truck onto the TV and then after the telling off, I sat down and read the thread which made my heart ache. Not trying to achieve anything but my heart ached for them and imagined being in their position.