To be sick of my toddler trashing my house?

[gchali]

Quite honestly I can't cope with the daily mess. Any sort of untidiness just gives me the worst anxiety and I don't know how to deal with it at the moment his favourite thing to do at the moment is to pull all of the cushions off the sofa and pile them all up in the middle of the room!

How can I stop him from doing this? Or am I resigned to the fact that he's a toddler and this is just how it's going to be? Arghh!

I'm a bit the same. You can't (and shouldn't) stop them exploring and making mess.

I try to contain it in as much as we stick to one room. I also have a set tidy up time at the end of the day. We make sure to return the room to neatness for the evening.

I like my house to be very tidy but honestly you'll need to chill a bit.
Obviously if he's being destructive then remove whatever it is and say no but he needs to be allowed to play and piling cushions is pretty harmless.
Just tell yourself you'll tidy at nap and bedtime and try to relax about it.

Our toddler does this daily - loves a good sofa cushion pile! I've never viewed it as 'trashing the house' though and if he did something really naughty e.g pull loads of books off the shelves then we'd stop him.

There are always loads of toys everywhere and the thing that helps me is to have everything put away every evening so I can relax and also it's nice to come down to in the mornings before the chaos starts all over again! I'm a neat and tidy person usually but have learnt to relax a bit.

Once he's over 3 you can start to really involve him in tidying up too. My 4yo now knows that everything has to be tidied up once he's finished with it.

I dont like mess either. If you pick them up every time you are almost inviting him to do it again. Try and have a tidy up routine at the end of the day and encourage him to help. And encourage him to put his rubbish in the bin etc. Hopefully he will move onto another activity soon.

I feel you, my 2.3 year old trashes the house every day and I cannot BEAR it. I have severe anxiety and ocd tendencies and mess makes my head hurt. I found that trying to keep all of her toys in one room helped a little as she tends to hang out where her toys are, so at least the mess is restricted to one room. whereas as before there were random toys in each room, She does still pull off throws and cushions etc in the living room which is frustrating. I just hope when she gets a little older it will improve.

Ignore it when he pulls them all off. It's harmless fun and almost a toddler right of passage - pull cushions off anything, make into a pile and jump onto, bonus fun with the sneaky launch off the whatever.

I know the phrase "trashing the house" is probably a bit of an exaggeration but that's how it feels. Toys everywhere, cushions and blankets pulled off the sofa, he pulls the rug up frequently etc.

It's just so hard to deal with, I get tidying up when he's in bed but it's difficult in the meantime sitting amongst it all

Honestly OP, from the wording in your title 'trashing the house' I was expecting much worse than pulling the cushions off the sofa! I know it's hard with your anxiety but you can't stop him doing that kind of thing.

Sorry cross post with you.

You want to stop your toddler playing with cushions?

How long does it take you to put them all back, exactly?

No advice but I could have written this - you have my sympathy!

Sorry, but that is a toddler's job

You can't and shouldn't stop him exploring, he's learning loads by piling those cushions up and jumping on them.
You need to focus on stopping yourself being anxious about it.

I am the same OP. I wash my sofa cushions on a weekly basis and have had to get a carpet cleaner to keep my sanity intact. Greasy hand prints on windows, TV, walls. Food, toys and dribble everywhere. It's a nightmare. I live in a flat too and there's not a great deal of space, so I'm cleaning on loop.

My sons makes a pig look like Hyacinth Bucket. They are total animals.

He wants to pile the cushions up?
Fabulous! He’s using his imagination, motor skills, having fun!
Trashing the house?! Hardly.

@gchali

I know the phrase "trashing the house" is probably a bit of an exaggeration but that's how it feels. Toys everywhere, cushions and blankets pulled off the sofa, he pulls the rug up frequently etc.

It's just so hard to deal with, I get tidying up when he's in bed but it's difficult in the meantime sitting amongst it all

I think you can separate what is not desirable (trail of destruction) from what you just have to live with:(current area of play being a zone of destruction!).

I don't like mess and as toddlers all.three of my DCs got good at understanding that they could only have 3 things about before something had to go away, and that all puzzles and easily loseable tiny play items were tidied and put away straight after use.
Cushions off the sofa is fine in my book, but as much as possible I get them to help me tidy after, so there's not a huge mess left after bedtime.
They also help set the table (even little ones can carry cutlery) and do their own rooms.

Good to start now, in a way that can feel like a fun game, rather than to try as they get older and more resistant!

It's

He will grow out of it and move on to something else. At the moment it's the cushions. Other times it will be emptying the entire box of lego or eventually the floorobe. Making tents with random things, and taking in random items.
Playing with colouring in stuff, glitter, sticky hand prints.

They make mess when playing and learn through play. All you can really try and do is keep him from harming himself and others, and at the end of each session, he's involved in some part of the clean up. Whether it's putting things in the bin, taking his plate etc to the kitchen, helping to clean up before he goes to bed.

I did allow toys out of one room, it's also their home afterall. I just limited how much they could have so the house didn't look like I was running a playgroup!!

I'd be grateful it wasn't worse to be honest. One of mine is just destructive...as in if not watched like a hawk she will draw on the walls, drag a box over to the tap in the bathroom and fill something up and spill it everywhere, pull things over and smash them...if she finds a book and I'm not there she will rip pages out. She leaves a trail of chaos in her wake. We call her the destroyer.
Anyway if you dont like mess and you let her play and make a mess that means you are making a massive effort and putting her first.

Its really hard at the moment because of the limited number of things you can do out side the home with a toddler. When things were open it was easier to do classes or activities and much easier to keep the house in some sort of order. Being inside most of the time is difficult

Going by your title I was expecting you to post about pulling wallpaper or scribbling on walls etc.

That type of behaviour shouldn't be allowed.

What your describing is normal and toys and some element of mess as you see it is part of having children.

How do you expect to manage as they get older?

Small children love cushions blankets etc. I think your expectations are are probably too high and you need to work on dealing with that.

He's exploring and discovering, it's part of being a toddler. Did you not realise toddlers do things like this ?!!!

It’s only cushions op. My friends having a hell of a time with her 3 year old. In the last week he’s smashed an expensive telly by throwing deodorant at it, he broke the washing machine door which flooded the kitchen, twice, and he‘a put 5 circle burn marks in a brand new carpet with a hairdryer. I’d actually try and embrace the stage where building forts with the living room cushions is so exciting, he’s only playing. He’s not going to be little forever, you don’t want to look back and realise you missed out on enjoying the lovely toddler years because you were being so miserable about some mess

I know it could be a lot worse but I suffer from really bad anxiety at the moment and this doesn't help. I know he's not doing it on purpose because he doesn't understand, but it doesn't make it any easier

Are you seeking help for your anxiety?

@37weekswithno2 I am, currently on ADs. Started a few weeks ago and so far not feeling a great deal better. I've really struggled today