About DH loud eating and drinking

[goteam]

I don't know if the lockdowns are getting to me. DH's loud eating and drinking is really getting to me. He eats snacks (crisps, nuts) every evening and I'm sick of the constant loud crunching. Every drink is swilled loudly around his mouth before swallowing. It used to just be wine he did this with but it's tea now too. Any drink. It's infuriating. Does this kind of thing bother anybody else? I have always been sensitive to loud eating so not sure it's just me.

Every single one of these, plus probably more.. even our 13 year old is repulsed by his fathers table manners. Ive bitten my tongue for years, but I did explode with rage just last week. It was again blamed on his breathing problems. What?? Slurping repeatedly on his fingers, the endless burping, farting and the constant smacking of lips? The heavy breathing, the washing machine noises, the groaning are probably that, yes. Still unbearable, but yes. But the rest absolutely no excuse. I wonder if he does all those things in the office? No, just at home.

I am so grateful that I am not the only one who experiences rage with sight and sound - of my otherwise gorgeous man - eating! Have found my tribe.

@couchbettato YYY this EXACTLY! If you have to slurp it, and then rapidly slosh it about your mouth to cool it, then it is too hot. Urgh.

See also, sniffing. Not acceptable as an ongoing solution to a problem, which is to simply blow your nose (without making like Elmer).

Not proud but I'll always remember when we "confronted" a friend who chewed her food too much to the point of making loud slappy kind of noises. I feel mean about how we did it but it was gross.

Nah, I dont believe its mysphonia. I think it's just another 'manspreading'. My husband does it too, yet no one else eating bothers me. It sounds like hes eating his own teeth when chewing, along with long, deeps nose breaths and 'smack smack smack' between every fucking bite.

I need to be more direct with DH. I just sigh passive aggressively and turn the TV/ music up.to attempt to drown out the noise. The worst is before the TV/ music goes on, enjoying the quiet after the kids have gone to bed. Why would anyone think that's a good time to get the crisps out and start loudly crunching?!!
.

Omg
I'm not alone YAY
Yes my husband does this...mouth closed...but I can hear every single chew..even of an orange..and I wear hearing aids and I can't still hear this when I'm not wearing them !!!!!!!!!!

My DH knows better than to eat a bowl of ceral in the same room as me!

Yes, I need to stare at the tv or my iPad not blinking and try to block it out, casting an occasional side ways glance to see how long until he’s finished.

It’s like chalk up a black board.

Sorry nails up a black board!

I think it's a type of mansoreading too

Taking up space through noise

My dad does it, as does BIL , it’s a kind of thoughtlessness

One of the upsides of being divorced is I no longer have to listen to any chewing, gulping, burping or toilet noises from ex. I do have two boys but I gave trained them to eat quietly. I also get to have nice bedsheets that don't get sweated all over, good times!

If divorce is a bit to harsh of a solution OP you could try operant conditioning.

As a teen I had a boyfriend who swilled drinks around his mouth. It was only then that I realised that I did it too - and that it was horrible! That soon put a stop to mine, at least. The BF didn’t last very long anyway.

We used to have a friend (RIP) with the most disgusting table manners. Not just noisy eating, but with his mouth open, too. There was always an argument in this family as to who was not going to sit opposite him at meals!

He’d been very successful in his career, so while his parents evidently hadn’t taught him acceptable manners, goodness knows how he hadn’t picked them up along the way.

It sound like he's being gross rather you having an issue with noise. I cant stand eating with your mouth open and I don't understand why people do it, it seems so much harder!

Oh yes to all of these! Mine makes a cup of tea and immediately slurps it - it makes me so cross. He can't possibly drink boiling water, can he?? He also makes funny breathing noises when he eats as if he's forcibly breathing out through his nose, accompanied by the odd sigh. When he eats cereal, he slurps the milk and scratches the spoon on the bowl as if he is trying to scrape a pattern off. Sometimes I just have to go into another room to get away from it. The other thing that drives me mad is eating pasta, cottage pie or chili with a spoon rather than a knife and fork - I keep telling him he's not a toddler!! And why won't he close the loo door when he goes in there - I do not wish to hear anyone urinating when I am eating my breakfast!

@HostessTrolley

It’s not just you. My dh is the same.

A horrific new habit is sucking all five fingers loudly if there’s anything that you’d eat with your fingers. I pointed out to him that he’d sucked the five fingers on his hands TWELVE TIMES while eating a bowl of chilli and rice that I’d served with tortilla chips and dip. Twelve. He looked at me like I’m insane because I counted.

I now don’t serve naan bread with curry, garlic bread with pasta, tortilla chips, spare ribs (don’t even....) toast is on a sticky wicket.....

Oh @HostessTrolley I feel your pain - my DH does the sucky-finger thing too and it drives me POTTY it's just so overwhelmingly unnecessary and makes me want to repeatedly rap him over the head with a wooden spoon.

I love my boyfriend so much, but he eats so loud, which is also made worse by the fact that when he eats out of a bowl/dish and he's getting to the end of his meal, he constantly smashes his cutlery against it to get up the last pieces. It drives me fucking mental. He doesn't do it anywhere else but at home, and I mentally prepare myself each time I can see him getting to the end of his food. 'DING DING DING DING DING!' - it's like he is calling a round of boxing or something.

😂

I also forgot to add he gnashes on forks like he's starved. I have told him to stop scraping his teeth on them because it'll cause damage, and also because the noise knocks me sick, but it doesn't work. Instead, I start putting the volume of the TV up which works sometimes, but others he ends up doing it louder as if he's trying to compete with it

Eating something spicy? Try clearing your throat every twenty seconds like something who smoked 60 woodbines a day for twenty years. That'll help and wont put me in a PMT-induced murderous rage.

Jamiefraserskilt

I have already hollowed out space underneath the toilet bowl so eventually, due to excess missed piss he will fall through never to be seen again.

Genius

This may sound awful but I now don't clean the bathroom he uses at all.
There's just the two of us and two bathrooms.
The en suite has only a bath and the family bathroom has only a shower. I prefer a shower, he likes a bath so now I use the family bathroom exclusively and clean it regularly.
He uses the en suite. When the planets are in the correct conjunction and the spirit eventually moves him, he puts a bit of bleach down the bowl and wipes out the bath.

The only thing he does in the family bathroom is his daily poo, but I can cope with that a lot better than drips everywhere.

The eating is pretty bad, unfortunately. I've passively-aggressively mentioned how much I hate "people" eating noisily - and he agrees that it's bad!
The worst times are when it's a treat or something he's really enjoying: the heavy breathing, slurping and occasional little moan (what the...?) make him sound like he's dubbing a poor quality porn film.

@ZoominMoomin when DD was a baby / toddler, DH's 'ding, ding, ding' with the spoon on the cereal bowl used to wake her up, echoing through the hallway. It would drive me MAD. He would be off to work and I would be desperate for more sleep after night feeds / waking and it's like he was ringing an alarm bell. I ended up telling him to stop and he did and DD duly slept in but ffs why didnt he notice how loud it was.

@Pikachubaby that's it. Taking up space with noise. Hear me slurp, crunch, swill, ding ding ding the cereal bowl for I am a man and I am here.

Also, why didnt he put two and two together that DD always woke as he was eating cereal

@Pikachubaby

I think it's a type of mansoreading too

Taking up space through noise

My dad does it, as does BIL , it’s a kind of thoughtlessness

Taking up space through noise.

Absolutely nailed it.

I know this makes me sound fucking grumpy. But it's like when men whistle or hum or sing in public. I always feel like what makes you think we want to hear your presence.

My DH and DSS are the same, last night at dinner I had to really force myself to stay at the table to eat dinner as I had both of them chomping and slurping away on spag bol. I very nearly threw my plate at the both of them