Who gets which room??

[inmyshoos]

So the situation is....

My partner and I are moving in together. We both have kids that we share with our ex's. One child is 17 and has a girlfriend. They usually stay over alternate weekends. The other child is 10 and will stay every weekend. There is a room each but one fits a double bed the other smaller and fits a single. The teens need the double bed but aibu to think the child staying every weekend should have the bigger room?

Is the ten year old your child OP?

You've said the older one gets the double but also that they should get the smaller room that fits the single?

If the older one is going to uni you could let them have the larger room with double bed until they go.

Older child gets bigger room imo

Teen has the bigger room for a time limited period of one or two years, after which it will be the ten year olds.

Why does the teen need a double bed? Is it because they are tall or because they have a girlfriend?

I don't think you should make room decisions based on girlfriends sleeping over. That could end any moment.

Do both dc only spend two nights a fortnight with you?

Does the smaller room actually only fit a single or could a double be wedged in there (with a skinny wardrobe)?

Older gets the bigger room for now. Within 2 or 3 years he'll have left both his homes and can stay in the smaller room on visits. At that point the younger takes over the bigger room when they are 14 - 20,

I think the 17 year old should have the double bed room by default.

But I understand where you are coming from. I do think give the 17 year old that bedroom though.

I see the ten year old is there every weekday. I misunderstood 'they usually stay over alternative weekends'.

I think you are placing too much importance on the girlfriend.

Sorry can see I've worded my op in a confusing way!!
To be clear.... 10 yo stays every weekend.
17 yo only stays every alternate weekend but with his gf (pretty long term and serious)

How small is the smaller room? Can you fit a double sofa bed or trundle bed that converts into a double in it, even if that means clambering into bed from the end when it's open? You can get wall hung folding tables, if the teen needs a desk.

If the oldest is going to uni then I would put them in the smaller room. If not then the bigger room.

Oldest gets bigger bedroom if they need it more. I'm guessing the youngest is your child?

I wouldn't put the older kid in the bigger room so he can shag his girlfriend every other weekend

Generally older gets the bigger room but get them a sofa bed in the small room. He obviously has his main base elsewhere

Not perfect but could the youngest have the double room but when the 17yo's girlfriend stays, he lets them use his room and the double bed? Does the girlfriend really stay over every time the eldest is staying?

The youngest needs a space they can study in as they are 14. Can they study in the smaller room?

Who would get which room if there was no girlfriend?

Seems odd to me to make rooming decisions based on a third party who comes fortnightly.

Id also be a bit if my teenage child only came EOW and never came without a GF in tow - seems a bit too intense for me. But then I'm a few years off having to think about BF/Gf visits !

@LadyTiredWinterBottom2 it's not so he can 'shag' his girlfriend, its just to accommodate two people in one room. His gf lives near me, he lives 3 hrs away. So when he is home they are together all the time. Im happy with that. They are lovely and good company.
But the 10 year old will be here every weekend and ideally I'd have him in the bigger room for that reason alone.
Might see if the double fits in the little room.

4ft double in the spare room. If that doesn't fit then older gets the larger room and younger gets to use it for playing / studying in addition to their own room when it's empty.

Well, if the older one is going to uni then he should get some practice in sleeping and shagging in the single bed surely?! Don’t all halls have single beds?!

I also think @elaeocarpus makes a good point - it sounds like he’s actually coming to visit his girlfriend and using you as a place to crash.

I think the child that is there more often should have the larger room.

Who is there more during holidays?
I think child who will be there more should have the bigger room tbh but youd really have to try fit a double or a 3/4 bed in the smaller room

Older DC in the double, in the larger room (unless it fits with space for belonging too, in the smaller room).
Teen will only be in the big room for a few more years and then of course the younger DC can take it over. It's all temporary.

Younger DC is only staying at weekends, doesn't really need a large room.

Are they equal in every other way? We have a tiny but light room and a large but very dark one. My older one has the small one is extremely happy with that. A lot of it also depends on how you style it. The younger one might be really happy in the small room, which would make the double bed situation easier.

Obviously both children mainly live elsewhere. It makes sense, if the boy brings his girlfriend, for them to have the bigger room. It's likely to only be for a little while longer, as once they move to uni or get their own place they'll be day guests rather than night guests, and even if they do visit at night they can compromise and work with what's available.

Let the older one have the bigger room for now, but the younger one can swap when necessary.

Flip for it.