Who gets which room??

[inmyshoos]

So the situation is....

My partner and I are moving in together. We both have kids that we share with our ex's. One child is 17 and has a girlfriend. They usually stay over alternate weekends. The other child is 10 and will stay every weekend. There is a room each but one fits a double bed the other smaller and fits a single. The teens need the double bed but aibu to think the child staying every weekend should have the bigger room?

The one who spends the most time in the house should have the bigger room.

Since they both stay regularly I'd have the bigger bed for the bigger person even if they didn't stay quite as often.

I'm quite happy that the older one crashes here even if he is only here to see his gf not really to see me.... I'm just pleased to see him and that he is happy. But to be fair we always do something fun together when he is home and I always include his gf, she's lovely so it makes it even more enjoyable.

Still ferl the younger one needs more space purely because he will be here more nights and will spend more time in the room....x boxing etc. Teen literally sleeps in there and then is out doing stuff. Definitely going to see if I can fit big bed in little room even if we need to buy another bed it might be worth it.

Also a sub his bed is too small for a 27 year old IMO. My so n is 12 and we've already decided to upgrade him to a double soon as he totally fills the single!

*Also a single bed

*17 year old. Sausage fingers!

Oldest gets bigger room

Older bigger room but can it be done in a way so younger can use it when older child is not around, not the bed bit but can there be a desk in there or something?

You need to provide a bed for the 17 year old not a shag den, the girl friend is not your responsibility

Youngest is there more frequently and most in need of the room so should get larger room.
Eldest only there fortnightly- he can stay with girlfriend, too, so no real need for large room.

Does 17yo stay at the gf house ever?

Yes the 17 to stays at his gf house occasionally but I prefer them here. Gf lives with her family full time so they don't miss her for a night or 2. If he stayed there I'd never see him!

He still fits in a single bed no problem.

Younger one would get the bigger room here. They'd need floor space (Lego, friends playing etc), whereas the older one would just sleep in their room.
I definitely wouldn't put the younger one in the small room for the sake of the older ones gf.

Maybe a double sofa bed in the big bedroom, that doubles as a play/study room for the younger child when not in use by the older child.

Older one gets the bigger room because they are older.

I don’t think the fact one of them is there twice the number of nights as the other is relevant, especially given the age difference. If it were the main home of one of them but not the other then they should get the Bigger room, but 1 weekend at week compared with 1 weekend a fortnight when they (presumably) both have rooms they spend the vast majority of their time in elsewhere is not a fair reason to favour one.

The older one gets the big room for now. Younger one gets the bigger room after older one has finished uni, moved into his own place or reached the age of 22 or stops coming round more than 2 nights a month. (Or whatever criteria you think is appropriate).

I do think it's a bit unfair for the younger child to have the needs of the older ones gf who only stays fortnightly placed above theirs. How much time do they actually spend with you when staying? Surely they could stay at the gfs house for sleeping but still socialise with you outside sleeping time? Is the 17yo your son?

I’d give the 10 year old the bigger room. He’s going to be in the room longer both because he stays more often and because he’s is younger he has more years left coming to stay with you probably. I imagine the 10 year old might have more toys and things too and be spending longer in his room rather than out doing independent things like the 17 year old.

The older ones will manage in a single. I did it at uni tons as many other people did.

How small is the small?

I’d give the younger one the bigger room.
Can the smaller room fit a small double (4ft)?
It’s not fair to go on age when the older DC’s room will only be used for sleeping every 2 weeks.

Which child do you like the best??

The age difference and the number of people to me make the difference. The 2 people should have the larger room

If you can give the 10 year old additional storage space somewhere that would help

Don’t all halls have single beds?!

No. Very many have small doubles.

I'd give the older one the bigger bedroom regardless of the girlfriend unless there was a very big difference in the amount of time spent at home. I don't think eow as compared to every weekend is that big a difference.
I also don't think 10 year old will need large amounts of space usually. They're mostly playing computer games by that age.

Well what’s the 17 year old going to do if you give them the small room? Share a single bed with his GF? No, he’s going to go stay at hers and you will never see him.

I agree with the suggestion to give the 17 yr old the larger room for a limited number of years - then the 10 yr old knows they will get it in time.

The teens get the room that they can both fit in. Seems a pretty obvious one.

Where does 17yo live when away, are they at college?