To think people waiting until they are desperate for the toilet to look for one

[Sevendaysaweek]

People are aware toilets particularly at the moment are in limited supply. A friend and I were out yesterday and she was drinking a bottle of coke which is obviously known to make you need the toilet due to caffeine. She then inevitably needed the loo she went into a coffee and she said how desperately in need she was. Aibu to think that unless there is medical conditions most people know they need the toilet for a while before they are urgently need to go. She was then annoyed that they refused her due to being a customer.

Not*

She should have bought something in the cafe then she could have used the loo

If I have to go out these days, I deliberately dehydrate myself for a good few hours beforehand. The days of carrying water bottles and continually sipping are long gone. If I know I have to go out out, I have my one cup of tea at breakfast time, then that's it until I get home.

Quite a lot of people don't get much warning before they need to pee, though.

The loss of public toilets is a disgrace. Who was it who spoke so brilliantly about this? An academic called Clara?

Dr (or professor?) Clara Greed. It’s on YouTube.

I have Crohn's disease and for me and many other sufferers needing the toilet is something that happens very suddenly and very, very urgently. YABU.

I’ve said excluding people with medical problems. I’m talking about people with no health conditions.

Customer-only loos in cafés aren’t exactly a new thing.

In fact, one of the oddities of Coronavirus is that it’s in a sense returned women to Victorian times — the advent of female-friendly, respectable but inexpensive cafés like ABCs and Lyons’ Corner Houses were the first time middle-class women could be out in a city for longer than they could hold their needs for the loo because there were no female public toilets. Men had always had pubs and men-only eating houses, but these new cafés were the first time ‘respectable’ women could have somewhere to sit down and eat in public, and women’s toilets.

I’m certainly thinking about my liquid intake while out at the moment — not in the UK and in lockdown.

How do you know she doesn't have a health issue?

My pelvic floor isn't something I discuss with my friends.

Many people suffer urgency (which isn't necessarily due to a medical condition) or become anxious and need to pee precisely because there are limited public toilets.

With an ageing population and many people with diabetes, there is a need for many more public toilets.

I have no health conditions and can suddenly and very urgently need the toilet...
it’s also a bit in your head when you know you need the toilet but suddenly it’s really hard to find one. Definitely makes it worse!

I remember talking to a friend a few years ago saying I can pee in the morning and not to need again until well into the evening after I’m home. I could literally go for hours and hours without going to a toilet. She said she get three warnings then it’s too late.

This last year or so though I need several times a day without much warning (so I’ll not need then suddenly I’m bursting!) I’m also having to get up in the night which I’d never had to do! I’m not old but I’m not very young now either and it’s not been pregnancy or childbirth and I’ve no specific bladder issues or diabetes etc so it’s just a random change to what was my normal as happens in life as you age.

And yes I sort of get what you mean because I was exactly the same before, I would be able to predict exactly how long I could wait or decide I would not need a toilet at all but I’m not 100% confident I could actually fit into your seemingly logical thinking anymore and I have to say it’s highly annoying!
Saying that I wouldn’t walk drinking coke without knowing if there would be a toilet somewhere I could use either though specifically because I know I can’t necessarily predict it nowadays.

i know what you mean and i do drink alot less when im out but sometimes it just happens

she shold have just bought something though

i sometimes get nearly no warning that i need the loo desperately. Since menopause i have the added thing where it is sometimes a very desperate and very liquid poo.

I dehydrate myself and eat only dry toast before going out as do many people. So how can that be right? Toilets are a basic human necessity.
There is no reason that shops and cafés can't make their toilets open to the general public, as long as there isn't a queue of people it's not an issue. A small charge for this wouldn't be unreasonable, especially now.
Several cities have started iniatives where the cafés put a sticker on their door saying you can use their facilities, and that has been a godsend.

I have a very small bladder apparently. It’s not a medical issue and not something I’ve discussed with friends, but it does mean my bladder doesn’t hold much liquid and I often need to go to the toilet without much warning.

Cafes shouldn't be required to offer a free service to people who aren't customers. They have to pay for the toilet roll, water, cleaning supplies, and staff to clean the toilet. This is offset by their sales. The more people that use the toilet, the more it costs to provide a toilet, so it makes sense to only allow people paying to use the toilet.
And public toilets aren't required to be free, quite often its pay per entry.

Most public toilets are now open again after the first lockdown IF there are any in your town.

I'm not sure what you are asking is unreasonable?

Your friend cannot assume a cafe will allow her to use a loo if she's not a customer. Many have a keypad entry system to avoid loos being used as a public toilet.

On the other hand, you can't assume people get lots of warning they need a wee. Some people can hold on for hours, others with bladder issues can't hold on at all.

You don't know if she doesn't have a medical condition I have on and off urge incontinence when I need to pee I need to pee now or I will just do it on the floor before I reach the loo. Hence I'm getting a downstairs toilet installed.

I would say to the cafe I will buy something after I have used the loo.

There is no reason that shops and cafés can't make their toilets open to the general public, as long as there isn't a queue of people it's not an issue. A small charge for this wouldn't be unreasonable, especially now.

To be fair, though, there's no reason why you can't make your own toilet at home open to the general public. Toilets cost money to provide, maintain and provide supplies for. Most of the public would soon see this as an entitlement and be outraged at being asked to pay as a non-customer - they'd actually hate you more for providing them with an option than if you'd just said No from the outset.

Loads of people have a good reason for needing it - they have small children, are pregnant, elderly, disabled, have mobility issues, just 'are really desperate' - and any one of them could easily leave it vomit-inducingly filthy. It would be like the situation with prescription charges in England, whereby so many people are exempt (not saying they shouldn't be - I am as well), that only 10% of people actually have to pay (which is very unfair, IMHO).

The real reason for the issue is far too many public toilets being closed, but I don't see why small business owners should be expected to pick up the costs and inconveniences for councils cutting essential services.

You sound a bit sniffy about the caffeine. Any bottle of drink will make you need a pee if you don’t need the fluid, the caffeine only has a slight diuretic affect.

I think it’s hard to gauge the right amount to drink. If you’re thirsty then you drink, then any excess will need to be peed out.

So your friend was slightly daft. But, it happens.

*effect!

Whilst I agree that a bottle of coke is particularly likely to make you want to go, I think it’s a terrible idea, as one pp suggested to dehydrate yourself. By which I mean people need to drink water, not coke or another caffeinated drink.

It’s important to keep hydrated and drinking water throughout the day is good for you. I’m not going to stop doing that because some people seem to irrationally dislike it.

If I’d needed the loo in your friends place I’d have just paid for something though. I tend to make sure I know where toilets are!

@37weekswithno2

How do you know she doesn't have a health issue?

My pelvic floor isn't something I discuss with my friends.

Just what I was thinking.

There is no reason that shops and cafés can't make their toilets open to the general public, as long as there isn't a queue of people it's not an issue. A small charge for this wouldn't be unreasonable, especially now.

All the extra sanitizing would probably take extra time and money though that the small charge may not cover.