To think people waiting until they are desperate for the toilet to look for one

[Sevendaysaweek]

People are aware toilets particularly at the moment are in limited supply. A friend and I were out yesterday and she was drinking a bottle of coke which is obviously known to make you need the toilet due to caffeine. She then inevitably needed the loo she went into a coffee and she said how desperately in need she was. Aibu to think that unless there is medical conditions most people know they need the toilet for a while before they are urgently need to go. She was then annoyed that they refused her due to being a customer.

I wish I always got warning before needing a pee. I could go from totally fine to desperate in less than half an hour sometimes . No medical issues, just what sometimes happens. We're not all Sheldon Coopers with a strict bladder schedule you know.

I think that you sound like a rubbish friend tbh I have IBS so a great deal of my life revolves arround the ability to access toilets. But the crazy thing is some days I am fine and not all my friends know that I have IBS and how bad it can get. Even drinking and not eating can trigger a bad attack. It affects the type of job I can do, the type of activities I could take my kids to, how far I can travel by car or public transport, planning shopping where I know there is a toilet and on and on. I have to take daily medication but even then I am sometimes caught unawares and need the toilet urgently and of course stress really triggers me so not being sure where the nearest toilet is makes me need it even more.
If you were a decent friend you could have bought a low cost item while your friend used the toilet. I would be so upset if I thought a friend was judging me about needing the toilet, there are enough judgemental people in this world without having to worry if a friend is one of them.

Goath I didnt know that! Thats really interesting thank you .DGM and her Sisters ( My Great Aunts) would talk of Lyons Corner Houses with great affection .I know Nan would be shocked if a woman went into a Pub alone (meant woman had to be a Prostitute obv!) or even with a friend .I would not expect to use a loo somewhere without buying a drink /cake though.

@JinglingHellsBells

People manage to plan when they really have to. Commuters, airline passengers, teachers!, the list goes on. Any normal adult manages to go for a run or a walk without a loo break.

@LucillevsLowkee You show a huge ignorance of how millions of people are affected by bladder and bowel conditions. Surely you have heard of IBS, Crohns, people with stoma bags, people with overactive bladders?

These people's lives revolve around where to find a toilet.

Planes have loos, trains have loos, people in cars use service stations when possible or some carry she-wees and portable loos in their cars.

Older men with prostate issues need the loo very often ( every half hour) as can the elderly.

You need to educate yourself.

did you bother reading my post and chose to ignore the part where i wrote medical condition aside or you just didn't read the whole post because it's so much more fun to take things out of context?

But because you must ramble on about people with bladder and bowel condition, the high majority of those PLAN because they have to.

They are very rarely the one defecating in people's front garden or on the beach.

And no, there are no toilet accessible in most of the commuter trains at rush hours, and no, you are not allowed to use the toilets when boarding and taking off.

So maybe YOU want to educate yourself dear.

Why should people have to ‘plan ahead’ for going to the toilet? It’s a normal bodily function, we all need to do it. Toilets should be available.

you have to be pretty stupid, and more than rude, if you don't "plan ahead" What do you plan to do if you want the loo? Use somebody's edge?

It's not the responsibility of private business to give you loo access. Ask local councils and pay for the service, but of course you plan. Most of us managed to plan with young children, it's actually not that hard.

I don't know why people are turning this into a woman's issue. A man would face exactly the same issues if he needed to pee urgently.

She was very rude to the young man working in the shop about something he couldn’t help.
Serves her right then, why didn't she just buy something if she was that desperate?

OP: "unless there is a medical condition"

Replies: " people with medical condition A/B/C/... can't..."

Reading, such a useful skill

I agree OP. Plus, the "now, right now!"-tribe tends to include the same people who never seem to think of, e.g. using the toilet in a cafe before leaving and then end up desperate 20 minutes later. Annoying but not the end of the world.

Also, what kind of friendship do you have if you can't discuss your health, pelvic floor of otherwise? And yes, I do know more about my IBS friends than I'd sometimes like to but if they don't feel well, I want to know.

you have to be pretty stupid, and more than rude, if you don't "plan ahead" confused What do you plan to do if you want the loo? Use somebody's edge?

No. I generally expect there to be accessible toilets available wherever I go. I don’t leave the house with a plan in mind of which toilets I’m going to use and when. I don’t know when I’m going to need the toilet.
I also have three young children and we manage just fine too, using toilets that are available at the time they’re needed, so I’m not sure what that’s got to do with anything.

Also, what kind of friendship do you have if you can't discuss your health, pelvic floor of otherwise?

Just because you can, doesn’t mean you have to. I have never said to my friends ‘oh by the way, an ultra sound scan once showed I have a really small bladder’. We have more interesting things to talk about.

@CoffeeAndWhisky

Reading, such a useful skill

Thinking is a better one. Most people don't discuss their pregnancy 5 seconds after conception, or their bladder problems, or their birth trauma's with everyone. Think about it. Do your friends know every little condition that you have?

@LucillevsLowkee Your post is quite offensive in many ways.

People manage to plan when they really have to. Commuters, airline passengers, teachers!, the list goes on. Any normal adult manages to go for a run or a walk without a loo break

So people who have a medical condition (which you included as an exception in a very sarcy crossing out way) are not normal people?

You are also splitting hairs now you've been contradicted because nowhere did you mention 'boarding and take off' in your posts, and commuter trains DO have toilets. Which trains do you use?
Mine have 8 or 12 carriages and 3 toilets.

Aibu to think that unless there is medical conditions most people know they need the toilet for a while before they are urgently need to go

Nope. I go and 10 mins later I need to go again. Especially after coffee. Admittedly if I know that eg I will be in the car for a 90 minute journey I don't drink coffee that morning.

I don't see why small business owners should be expected to pick up the costs and inconveniences for councils cutting essential services

well at the moment they are saving on business rates, so a bit of loo roll is a bargain in return

Why are people on this site so obsessed with other people's pissing habits?

Well I could, but as I live at the end of a country lane with no through road the only people who come down here tend to live here, so I wouldn’t get much business.

So if you lived nearer the middle of a town, you'd be more than happy to do so....?

well at the moment they are saving on business rates, so a bit of loo roll is a bargain in return

Do you realise why they are saving on business rates? That's like saying that people who claim benefits should allow the general public in to use their own private toilet - or come in for a sit down and watch their telly, for that matter - and be grateful to the taxpayer for the opportunity to do so.

[quote JinglingHellsBells]@LucillevsLowkee Your post is quite offensive in many ways.

People manage to plan when they really have to. Commuters, airline passengers, teachers!, the list goes on. Any normal adult manages to go for a run or a walk without a loo break

So people who have a medical condition (which you included as an exception in a very sarcy crossing out way) are not normal people?

You are also splitting hairs now you've been contradicted because nowhere did you mention 'boarding and take off' in your posts, and commuter trains DO have toilets. Which trains do you use?
Mine have 8 or 12 carriages and 3 toilets.[/quote]
You have no idea of what condition I have to manage, and you frankly are the offensive one.

Regardless, nowhere did you mention 'boarding and take off' in your posts , I am sorry you assumed I was talking about a plane that was stranded on the ground, normal people only board plane to go somewhere and it does include boarding and taking off 🤦
And when you do have a condition to manage, you know about it...

My commuter trains are so packed at rush hour you have no chance on making your way to a toilet, and even less chance to find a toilet that actually works. There are enough complaints about it. Good for you if yours have toilet facilities, how is that helping though?

NORMAL people are people (with or without condition) who plan around their need. Do not try to twist my words dear, you already sound silly.

Sometimes it means that during the lockdown there are places we couldn't visit. You must have read about the CF who used people's garden as a toilet?

Cafes shouldn't be required to offer a free service to people who aren't customers. They have to pay for the toilet roll, water, cleaning supplies, and staff to clean the toilet. This is offset by their sales. The more people that use the toilet, the more it costs to provide a toilet, so it makes sense to only allow people paying to use the toilet.

Is this another case of the UK being special again? it works very well in Germany - most people leave 50 cents or 1 euro

@redbushtea

I don't know why people are turning this into a woman's issue. A man would face exactly the same issues if he needed to pee urgently.

It’s not solely women who are affected, but it is very disproportionately women who are affected. Added to which, it’s much easier for a man to have a quick wild pee if really no other choice, than it is for a woman.

The trouble is, even if you have a medical condition and know you need to plan things in advance, sometimes your body is unpredictable. There have been many times when I've thought I've done everything I could to avoid having to go while out and still ended up desperate for the loo shortly after I get to my destination. I have a medical condition but it can and does vary. On a good day I can drink 3 coffees and manage 4hrs without needing to go, on a bad day I can have one glass of water and be needing to go every 15minutes for the entire morning! Sometimes it's hard to plan around it.

I live quite rurally and am a 20 minute drive from the nearest shops where I can buy food. I have no family or friends in the area who can shop for me and getting a delivery slot is nigh on impossible at the moment. My only option is to go out myself but it is very likely no matter what I do I will need to go to the toilet somewhere during that time. This is why I have a 'can't wait' card because I sometimes have to ask to use the toilets somewhere I'm not a customer and believe me when I say with the amount I need to go I can't afford to buy something in every single place! It's not ideal but I have little choice at the moment.

Is this another case of the UK being special again? it works very well in Germany - most people leave 50 cents or 1 euro

Your average German would respect the provision of the facility, see its value to them and the cost to you of providing it, and leave an appropriate contribution. They would also be far more likely to leave it clean, as they would understand that, if people didn't do that - including all of that day's previous users - then they too would suffer.

Sadly, there is a very widespread 'culture' of entitlement and 'why should I bother' in the UK. Not everybody, by any means, but many, many people think that their needs or desires are somebody else's job to provide and maintain and that they're doing their bit by simply deigning to make use of them.

I used to have a friend like this. Drank coffee all the time and had a dodgy bladder. What’s more she expected ME to find her a loo. Unbelievable but she was someone who always expected other people to take responsibility.

When I need to go, its always urgent. I don't have a medical condition, but must have a very small bladder or excellent kidneys.

@redbushtea

I don't know why people are turning this into a woman's issue. A man would face exactly the same issues if he needed to pee urgently.

Could it possibly be because most if not all the respondents are women

Forget about health issues!! Ok, health issues are important and could make your problems even worse, but you do NOT need to have a health issue to be busting for a pee! Especially if you are a young mother, but even just if you are a woman. Also, your poor friend has a right to drink a Coke. It's not a crime and you shouldn't be shamed for it. I have had one child and from the time i need to go til when i am absolutely busting is about 20 minutes. When people won't let you use the toilet it's just sad. Disgraceful in fact.

@PhilSwagielka

Why are people on this site so obsessed with other people's pissing habits?

Because it is a mothers' site and expecting women and women who have recently had children often need to go!