To think people waiting until they are desperate for the toilet to look for one

[Sevendaysaweek]

People are aware toilets particularly at the moment are in limited supply. A friend and I were out yesterday and she was drinking a bottle of coke which is obviously known to make you need the toilet due to caffeine. She then inevitably needed the loo she went into a coffee and she said how desperately in need she was. Aibu to think that unless there is medical conditions most people know they need the toilet for a while before they are urgently need to go. She was then annoyed that they refused her due to being a customer.

Some people just need to go now when they need, me being one of them.
However I don’t drink loads of I’m out and I know there won’t be a toilet I go before I leave and if I’m out and there’s a toilet Ill go.
It’s not much fun at times though. But you’re right fizzy caffeinated drinks irritate the bladder more than water might. I wouldn’t expect to use a toilet in a cafe if I’d not bought anything,

I can hold it for ages, all day if need be but the moment I know I’m out for a couple of hours and there are no lols at all, suddenly I’m desperate! It’s a mental thing, weird

I do think that some people are just looking for an argument when they do this , I've seen it a few times where it almost becomes this wierd powerplay where they need to win , I doubt when I've seen it it's been a genuine medical condition because they spent a good ten minutes arguing ,one would assume if the need was so desperate they would dash off to find somewhere else.

Having said that its not so simple as diagnosed medical conditions, my aunt has always been like this in terms if not having much warning ,she is the nicest person on earth and would never row with a shop over this. We do get in the habit of being aware of the nearest loo for her when out.

She is also used to every member of the family asking her if she needs to go...even her grandchildren.

So sometimes people are genuinely in need and sometimes they are arseholes. Basically the rule of life.

I have a camels bladder and agree it’s frustrating being out with people who don’t and who don’t expect to have trouble finding a loo and drinking diuretics.
🤷🏻‍♀️ What can you do? Everyone’s different and I’m certainly not going to monitor other's intake and where the local loos are.

I avoid public loos as much as possible at many time, like a pp i limit drinks if I am going out for any length of time. I drink plenty otherwise so don't get dehydrated. I don't believe that people need to be constantly sipping bottles of water to be
healthy.

YANBU

People manage to plan when they really have to. Commuters, airline passengers, teachers!, the list goes on. Any normal adult manages to go for a run or a walk without a loo break. Disgusting idiots during the pandemic who chose to urinate or defecate in people's garden or sand dunes were just selfish, of course they could have found another way.

**medical condition excepted as you always need to put a disclaimer on here

If I need the loo whilst out I will buy something cheap from a coffee shop or burger place to use the facilities, I'd never expect to use them for free, they cost the venue money to install and maintain

FYI everyone, MN has been known to attract the odd piss troll.

I would absolutely love to be one of those people who can go for hours without peeing, or can simply ignore a full bladder. When I'm out I am constantly calculating when my next wee will be, and Lockdown 1.0 was ridiculously difficult at the start when even train station loos were locked. Lockdown 2.0 seems to be a bit less hysterical, so hopefully they won't randomly close all the loos again.

I am not drinking anything with caffeine in it if I need to go out for more than an hour now due to lack of facilities. I have noticed that I don't get urgency to go without it but I think a lot of people really don't listen to their bodies much and don't make that connection.

Interesting what a PP said about public toilets giving women more freedom, I would say the same for disabilities. The loss of public toilets and the attempts to privatise them with community toilet schemes that of course now failed under Coronavirus seems to me a very apt representation of the slide into a more individualistic world we now live in.

Loss of public loos is a nightmare. DS has bladder issues - as many children do. Its a hidden issue. He now has to wear continence pads/pullups when in town and he's 11.

Our local supermarket closed its loos as people in shopping centre used them non stop and they were often broken due to mis-use.

I have to carefully time drinks if I want to go to the shops!

It's not right is it? Very poor public provision - and we are a tourist town too. Even tiny seaside villages we have visited in Wales have decent loos.

McDonalds allow anyone to use their toilets without having to buy anything.

(It won't be as easy with everything closed though - yesterday I had to pee in Marks and Spencer twice!)

This thread was done a week or two ago and there were people insisting that cafes should be opening their private facilities to anyone who wants to use them as a public loo. Some people are entitled and rude.

If councils have cut services then people should take it up with them, not expect cafes to fill in the gaps for their convenience.

Lack of public toilets is a real (and feminist) issue.

She should’ve bought something in the café if she wanted to use their toilet.

You don’t sound much of a friend.

People manage to plan when they really have to. Commuters, airline passengers, teachers!, the list goes on. Any normal adult manages to go for a run or a walk without a loo break.

@LucillevsLowkee You show a huge ignorance of how millions of people are affected by bladder and bowel conditions. Surely you have heard of IBS, Crohns, people with stoma bags, people with overactive bladders?

These people's lives revolve around where to find a toilet.

Planes have loos, trains have loos, people in cars use service stations when possible or some carry she-wees and portable loos in their cars.

Older men with prostate issues need the loo very often ( every half hour) as can the elderly.

You need to educate yourself.

Like PP I have IBD and although no one has ever stopped me using the toilet I always always buy something from the place I used the loo at, both as a ‘thank you’ and because I’d be fucked if these places closed.

@thenightsky

If I have to go out these days, I deliberately dehydrate myself for a good few hours beforehand. The days of carrying water bottles and continually sipping are long gone. If I know I have to go out out, I have my one cup of tea at breakfast time, then that's it until I get home.

I'm a bit like this at the moment. Really annoying but I don't see an alternative!

Unfortunately OP some of us have health issues, or hormonal problems, or just can't hold it for very long anymore after we've had kids. If you need a drink when you're out, you shouldn't have to go thirsty just so you want be judged by your friends when you have to pee.

If you suffer from BAM (bile acid malabsorbtion) you will not need to ask this question.

Yabu!

Some people, when they've got to go, they've got to go!

I agree with others that it's local councils you need to be getting onto about this. Its unfair to expect cafes and coffee shops, that have been been hit hard by covid to be picking up he tab for council cut backs.
And I've always had a weak bladder (not medically diagnosed) just looking at a glass of water makes me want to pee, so its unfair to get judgey about someone needing the loo when out.

Roll on a few more years, having more babies, fibroids or an ovarian cyst pressing on your bladder and you might suddenly find you are desperate for a toilet.

The local council closed the public toilet in our village, but written complaints including mine about the closure fell on deaf ears.

She is being unreasonable to expect to use a coffee shop as a public loo if she is not a customer.

She got caught short, it happens. No big deal or need to analyse.

I think you are looking at this arse backwards, OP. People shouldn't have to plan their outings around loo availability or be scared to have a drink when out and about. People with disabilities or health issues shouldn't have to have their ability to participate in society curtailed because of a lack of loo provision (and don’t get me started on the abject failure of so many cafes and restaurants to provide accessible loos).

There should be better public loo provision. I think lots of public loos were closed in the name of austerity and of course Covid 19 has made things worse.