To think people waiting until they are desperate for the toilet to look for one

[Sevendaysaweek]

People are aware toilets particularly at the moment are in limited supply. A friend and I were out yesterday and she was drinking a bottle of coke which is obviously known to make you need the toilet due to caffeine. She then inevitably needed the loo she went into a coffee and she said how desperately in need she was. Aibu to think that unless there is medical conditions most people know they need the toilet for a while before they are urgently need to go. She was then annoyed that they refused her due to being a customer.

It's not just people with health problems who may need the toilet urgently -- although for that reason alone councils should provide an adequate number. Pregnant women, children, older people, anyone who can't organise their days around being near a loo when they need one.

I agree I would buy something in a cafe if I wanted to use their loo.

Not really sure what your AIBU is.

It’s outrageous that public loos were and remain in such short supply during the last lockdown and afterwards, especially for disabled people and older people.

No, not everyone gets lots of warning of needing the loo, even healthy people, so YABU on that front.

But yes, the cafe was entitled to refuse her use of the facilities due to not being a customer.

My DH has Crohn’s Disease and he used to have a ‘radar key’ - it gives Crohn’s sufferers and people with other bladder and bowel issues access to thousands of locked public loos around the country. He also has a ‘can’t wait’ card that he can show in cafes etc that usually reserve their loos for customers only, and they’ll (usually) let you use the facilities if you show it. Not relevant to the AIBU but just mentioning it in case it’s of use to anyone else on the thread.

I’m a bit bemused that you think it’s more reasonable for people to limit their fluid intake than it is for there to be toilets accessible for people to use when out and about, OP.

@37weekswithno2

How do you know she doesn't have a health issue?

My pelvic floor isn't something I discuss with my friends.

I agree, and sometimes it’s not something you even admit to yourself until it becomes a huge issue in your life!

Aside from any medical issues, some people just cannot plan ahead or think ahead. Some people have no sense of direction, some cannot be on time ever, so perhaps just an unfortunate personality trait.

@nosswith

Aside from any medical issues, some people just cannot plan ahead or think ahead. Some people have no sense of direction, some cannot be on time ever, so perhaps just an unfortunate personality trait.

Why should people have to ‘plan ahead’ for going to the toilet? It’s a normal bodily function, we all need to do it. Toilets should be available.

@Ignoringequally

I’m a bit bemused that you think it’s more reasonable for people to limit their fluid intake than it is for there to be toilets accessible for people to use when out and about, OP.

Absolutely.

It's shocking and shameful that safe, clean public facilities are not provided anymore and so not going out, limiting drink or wetting yourself becomes the only choices.

@Nottherealslimshady

Cafes shouldn't be required to offer a free service to people who aren't customers. They have to pay for the toilet roll, water, cleaning supplies, and staff to clean the toilet. This is offset by their sales. The more people that use the toilet, the more it costs to provide a toilet, so it makes sense to only allow people paying to use the toilet. And public toilets aren't required to be free, quite often its pay per entry.

Agreed.

And half the time customers leave them in a state anyway too, so its more work.

I think this should be a higher priority for councils and that they should be obliged to provide a certain number of facilities. It shouldn't be an optional extra. I'd rather pay an extra 50p tax than always ensure you have cash to buy a drink in a cafe to access the loos. I can only assume that the decision makers are able-bodied and male.

Sorry but I think it’s very strange and unkind to judge someone for needing a wee, especially to the extent you’d post about it online. Do you not like her?

She was very rude to the young man working in the shop about something he couldn’t help.

Agree with @generalconfusion, some friend you are! If a friend of mine needed to rush to the loo after drinking coke we'd be laughing about it together, not coming on here to bitch about each other!

Never pass up the chance of a pee.
Never trust a fart.

Wisdom that comes with age.

I have bladders issues following trauma, and at my worst I actually got hospitalised for dehydration as I was on a work trip with full itenary that I couldn't plan ahead as to where the loos are etc. It sounds ridiculous now, but thankfully it's not so intense now, but I do have to plan where I'm going and it is quite all consuming. That said, I always buy something in a cafe if I need to use their loo, the amount of things I've ended up with that I didnt really want hah. I do have a 'i can't wait' card, but most people have a similar attitude that as an adult you actually can, which isn't always the case. For someone without those issues though, if out and about and unsure of the provision seems sensible to be mindful of fluid intake, although my absolute dream in honesty is to not have to worry about it! I get so anxious when I am on a long car journey and someone is drinking coffee, I could never, and it does make me jealous which sounds odd.

@Helpel

Agree with *@generalconfusion*, some friend you are! If a friend of mine needed to rush to the loo after drinking coke we'd be laughing about it together, not coming on here to bitch about each other!

Exactly. I can’t even imagine having an opinion on my friend’s need for the toilet to be honest! People need to use the toilet. It’s simple biology.

I’ve found myself in that situation occasionally and usually just buy something small in the cafe. I used to have a cast iron bladder, but 3 dc put paid to that.. plus I also have IBS.

I don't feel that any business should deny a girls/women in particular to use their toilets, due to menstruation along with other possible health problems described by others and small children needing toilets, customer or no customer, it's about supporting human rights!

I don't feel that any business should deny a girls/women in particular to use their toilets, due to menstruation along with other possible health problems described by others and small children needing toilets, customer or no customer, it's about supporting human rights!

Well, 50% of human rights, I suppose. That sounds both unfair on men with health problems (and dads out on their own with kids) and patronising to the poor dainty little women who simply can't be expected to 'just deal with it' like the big strong, capable men.

Outside our Town Hall there is a Public Notice board where there is a list of shops which are happy to let you use their loo. I would feel somewhat obliged to make a small purchase there, but I ddon't suppose this is at all necessary.
(Not much help if you'r
e miles away from the Town Hall notice board :( )

To be fair, though, there's no reason why you can't make your own toilet at home open to the general public.

.. now there's a tempting idea for a mini business!!

To be fair, though, there's no reason why you can't make your own toilet at home open to the general public

Well I could, but as I live at the end of a country lane with no through road the only people who come down here tend to live here, so I wouldn’t get much business.

I used to have a bladder of steel, then I got pregnant....

Could she be pregnant, or has she had children?

It is local councils need to be pressed to act on this.

It is very unfair to expect cafes and coffee shops who are under extreme financial pressure already to become public toilets.

To be honest I am really hardly going out now. If I do go out I always go to the loo before I go and don't drink whilst out. I have not used public loo since August.

Wow, seen it all now - the toileting needs police on MN