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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not want to give my dinner to the dog

356 replies

Zumarocks · 03/11/2020 20:31

Lost it with DH today and would like to know everyone's thoughts on this totally unimportant issue! Every time I cook something that could potentially have leftovers for the dog, my DH will intervene before I have 'too much' or seconds because 'the dog could have that!'. At least 3 or 4 times now I have stated that I cooked it, and if I want to eat it I will. Then comes a chorus of 'poor doggie....mummy ate your dinner....' etc. Any time I go out anywhere, I always, without fail, sort out food for everyone before I go. Today I went for a haircut. Made a shepherds pie for everyone before I went. Got back to leftovers. Was starving so just took the dish out of the oven and started eating. DH comes in, 'oh are you just eating it straight out of there!' 'Yes, yes I am, because I'm starving'! I laughed. ' Oh I thought the dog could have some of that!' he said. 'I said not likely, I'm really hungry!' He then said 'but there was loads in there!!'. At this point I lost my shit. I had literally had 2 mouthfuls OF THE DINNER I COOKED. In a totally melodramatic gesture I put the whole lot in the dog's bowl so it was overflowing, whilst shouting that he had zero respect for me and that I am totally at the bottom of the pile. Everyone else gets to eat their dinner no problem, but if I have the audacity to eat THE THING I BLOODY COOKED I get told it's not fair on the dog. FFS. I said when he starts cooking he will get to bloody well decide what the dog gets. And breathe.

OP posts:
2020nymph · 04/11/2020 10:28

[quote Pumpertrumper]@Zumarocks

Now I recall he did make a series of comments January before last about my meals not being ‘healthy’ (they are perfectly balanced but he eats a huge amount of them and had gorged himself over Christmas so was suddenly feeling the need to be ‘healthy’)

It irritated me as I eat a normal human amount and felt it was unfair he was labelling my cooking unhealthy because he lacked self control.
I did serve him steamed vegetables for about 3-4 days before he apologised.[/quote]
My DH commented repeatedly on my dinner portion sizes after he gained wait over Christmas. Next dinner serving was about the size of a satsuma!

Madein1995 · 04/11/2020 10:42

Tbh in our house the dog is a part of the family so if for eg were having a chicken roast she will have some. If that means taking a bit off everyones plate then so be it. The difference is we all do it, and the majority of the household doesn't eat theirs while expecting one person to give up theirs

It does sound odd, to have such a big deal made of it, but i thi k dhs approach is ott. Why not just cut off a bit for the dog, or a few bits of chicken or whatever, BEFORE serving the rest of you?

goldenharvest · 04/11/2020 10:43

But why is an adult needing 'seconds'? Surely you put what you want in your plate and eat it? This appears to happen frequently and I just don't get it. Put more in the plate in the first place. Any leftovers get frozen and are not for the dog. Dh is being an arse for sure, but maybe there's a sub plot we don't know about.

NORMARAE · 04/11/2020 10:45

@goldenharvest

But why is an adult needing 'seconds'? Surely you put what you want in your plate and eat it? This appears to happen frequently and I just don't get it. Put more in the plate in the first place. Any leftovers get frozen and are not for the dog. Dh is being an arse for sure, but maybe there's a sub plot we don't know about.
She didn't have seconds, that was her dinner.
Lolwhat · 04/11/2020 10:46

Wtf?? Dogs eat dog food, if there’s some dog safe food left after you’ve all eaten then yeah maybe the dog can have some? My pup gets any spare vegetables/fruit/eggs and that’s about it, he’s not chowing down on a Shepard’s pie, as much as I love him he is a dog!!

Madein1995 · 04/11/2020 10:47

Also it isnt waste as surely the few bits of chicken or whatever is in addition to the dogs food? Or just serve dog smaller portions of his food to ensure hes only getting the ampunt he needs

greeneyedlulu · 04/11/2020 10:49

What?? Why isnt your dog eating dog food? Why is you dp more concerned about feeding the dog than you??

VettiyaIruken · 04/11/2020 10:53

Re "seconds", ime you don't always know how much you are going to eat and it's less wasteful to put less on your plate, eat it and then decide if you are still hungry and if you are, have some more.
I suffer from EBTB (eyes bigger than belly 😁) and when I used to put what I thought I wanted, I either overate or wasted food. Imo it's sensible to have less with the option to go back.

itsbeen84years · 04/11/2020 10:58

I wouldn't be cooking for him again.

What's with the outrage that a dog should eat a bit of meat now and then. Get a grip.

HollyandIvyandallthingsYule · 04/11/2020 11:22

@VettiyaIruken

Re "seconds", ime you don't always know how much you are going to eat and it's less wasteful to put less on your plate, eat it and then decide if you are still hungry and if you are, have some more. I suffer from EBTB (eyes bigger than belly 😁) and when I used to put what I thought I wanted, I either overate or wasted food. Imo it's sensible to have less with the option to go back.
This.

It’s much more sensible to have a conservative first portion and top up if needed.

Potionqueen · 04/11/2020 11:24

Give your dh a dog bowl full of dog food for his dinner tonight. It’s all he deserves.

SissySpacekAteMyHamster · 04/11/2020 11:27

YABU for not putting onion in your shepherd's pie. Just weird.

FenellaVelour · 04/11/2020 11:59

@goldenharvest

But why is an adult needing 'seconds'? Surely you put what you want in your plate and eat it? This appears to happen frequently and I just don't get it. Put more in the plate in the first place. Any leftovers get frozen and are not for the dog. Dh is being an arse for sure, but maybe there's a sub plot we don't know about.
Try reading it yet again 🙄

This wasn’t seconds. She hadn’t eaten yet.

CuriousaboutSamphire · 04/11/2020 12:03

Also, not the point of your thread, but how is it possible to be so hungry that you need to eat directly out of the dish? It takes seconds to put food onto a plate Confused Ooh! The outrage! Woman eats out of oven dish, saves on washing up, is hungry, who gives a fuck?

CuriousaboutSamphire · 04/11/2020 12:04

And no seconds??!?!

Bloody hell some of you lot are just weird!

The only questions here are

  • why is the dog being fed cooked human foods, including some that are not good for dogs?
  • why is OP putting up with her dick of DH in this?
SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 04/11/2020 12:08

All good questions, @CuriousSamphire - and I'd add - what's wrong with eating out of the dish, when it means you get the best go possible at the nice, crusty browned bits from round the edge??

Fluffybutter · 04/11/2020 12:09

Just repeating others but your dh is a nob.
If he’s that bothered then he should give the dog half of his dinner BUT the dog shouldn’t be having leftovers every night anyway , it’s unhealthy and just bloody ridiculous.
And as for the poster who said she expects the whole family to give up a bit of each of their meals is batshit.
You have dog food for a reason ...

Cheeseandwin5 · 04/11/2020 12:10

I do think that your DH is being a dick my making such comments and to be honest if it was 3 /4 times a week than actually a bully.
Every time he said ' ohh Doggie , mummy is eating your dinner' I would say 'ohh Doggie daddy is being and A hole (or worse) and take his dinner and give his plate to the dinner'

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 04/11/2020 12:13

@goldenharvest

But why is an adult needing 'seconds'? Surely you put what you want in your plate and eat it? This appears to happen frequently and I just don't get it. Put more in the plate in the first place. Any leftovers get frozen and are not for the dog. Dh is being an arse for sure, but maybe there's a sub plot we don't know about.
@goldenharvest - in her OP, @Zumarocks said:

"Today I went for a haircut. Made a shepherds pie for everyone before I went. Got back to leftovers. Was starving so just took the dish out of the oven and started eating."

I have put the most relevant sentence in bold. The OP cooked the shepherds pie before she went out. The rest of the family ate, whilst she was out. She came home to have the leftovers as her main meal - it wasn't 'seconds' because she hadn't had her firsts!!

unmarkedbythat · 04/11/2020 12:16

I would definitely be missing DH out when plating up and giving his dinner to the bloody dog instead.

amusedbush · 04/11/2020 12:20

Missing the point but I don't cook with onion at all. Ever. I can't bloody stand them! My cooking tastes fine without them though Grin

Nonotthisagain · 04/11/2020 12:30

@Madein1995

Tbh in our house the dog is a part of the family so if for eg were having a chicken roast she will have some. If that means taking a bit off everyones plate then so be it. The difference is we all do it, and the majority of the household doesn't eat theirs while expecting one person to give up theirs

It does sound odd, to have such a big deal made of it, but i thi k dhs approach is ott. Why not just cut off a bit for the dog, or a few bits of chicken or whatever, BEFORE serving the rest of you?

Wtaf? You take food off everyone's plates to give to the dog??

It's like a parallel universe on here sometimes!!

unmarkedbythat · 04/11/2020 12:32

Tbh in our house the dog is a part of the family so if for eg were having a chicken roast she will have some. If that means taking a bit off everyones plate then so be it.

You take dinner off the plates of people in the family to include the dog? Really? That's hilarious Grin Grin Grin.

Crappyfridays7 · 04/11/2020 12:34

Your husband sounds a nob op. Just give him less and tell him the extra is for the dog as he’s so keen on sharing with him (just not his dinner but yours)

I buy really decent food for our dog and he gets no human food at all and will not (he’s a pup) it encourages bad habits and weight issues and correct food means their poo isn’t loose/wet and huge) lovely eh also protects them from intolerances, although I know they can have them anyway. If he is getting leftovers your husband should be checking how much dog food he should have and reduce it so leftovers are included in his daily meals.

Although I think his attitude towards you is shite, get him shopping for food & making meals then ask him if he wants to throw that £ and effort in the bin - food is expensive and when you’re paying out for dog food and giving him human food that could be used for another meal it’s wasteful of him - he no doubt thinks he’s been cute or funny but I hope things change as it’s not nice to feel below the dog and unappreciated

HollyandIvyandallthingsYule · 04/11/2020 12:34

In fairness the OP does say DH polices her having ‘too much’ or seconds in the OP. That might be what pp is referring to.

In any case some people prefer to have less and go back for more if needed, and this is actually good practice to teach young children too as it avoids the pressure to clear one’s plate and eat more than one might actually want.