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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Not invited to team WhatsApp group

46 replies

Zwellers · 03/11/2020 00:24

Part of a team of 15 people. Most have us have worked together some time. New starter has joined and over a zoom meeting there was a conversation about adding them to the team WhatsApp group. Apparently everyone's on it. Well no actually no one has ever asked me to join. Aibu to be deeling hacked off about this. Also feeling a bit left out but is it worth mentioning; and if so how. Or am i being oversensitive?

OP posts:
Titsinknicks · 03/11/2020 00:27

'Hi guys, didn't realise there was a team WhatsApp group - must have missed that one! Please can you add me? Thanks!'

Have you said this?

KurriKawari · 03/11/2020 00:29

I need an excuse to leave ours, want to swap?

Sally872 · 03/11/2020 00:33

If no other issues then it is just an oversight. Organiser missed you and nobody else checked who was in group, just assumed full team. @titsinknicks messages is perfect.

FlyingByTheSeatof · 03/11/2020 00:38

It's more than likely an oversight unless you're a PITA which you would be aware of so just ask them to add you on.

Georgeoftheinternet · 03/11/2020 01:04

Yeah you should join I guess.... but why aren’t they using teams? Unless you have a work phone?

tortoiseshell1985 · 03/11/2020 01:07

More than likely an oversight I wouldn't take it personally

BluePeterVag · 03/11/2020 01:40

I never check email or what’s app group lists for who is in them, so likely an oversight. Or maybe some random has been added after a typo error on a phone number. Fuck ‘em though, recipe for anxiety being part of a group like that. If they need you, they know where you are.

BullBailey · 03/11/2020 02:23

@Titsinknicks

'Hi guys, didn't realise there was a team WhatsApp group - must have missed that one! Please can you add me? Thanks!'

Have you said this?

This.
Coyoacan · 03/11/2020 02:48

When mumsnet is the voice of good sense.

TingTastic · 03/11/2020 02:52

Agree with everyone else. If there’s 15 in the team then it’s incredibly easy to miss someone off originally (if you were on holiday etc), then to not realise you haven’t been added. I’ve certainly never checked our team WhatsApp to tick back that everyone is on it

notcreativeforacoolname · 03/11/2020 03:01

I somewhat understand how you feel as a few girls in my last job that I got on with had a group but didn't include me. I still don't know why. I left as after I came back from Mat leave I could see that the job was going nowhere and I had moved house so it was quite inconvenient. Most have now been made redundant thanks to covid and it looks as though this business will fold. In my new job they have WhatsApp chat that I'm not involved in too. I sometimes wonder what's wrong with me but I mostly just shrug it off. I don't really want to be friends with them outside of work anyhow. Do you?

BigBigPumpkin · 03/11/2020 03:03

Likely an oversight. Ask to be added.

rainkeepsfallingdown · 03/11/2020 03:38

If they mentioned it in front of you, I doubt it's a secret, more an oversight.

PhilCornwall1 · 03/11/2020 03:56

@Zwellers

Part of a team of 15 people. Most have us have worked together some time. New starter has joined and over a zoom meeting there was a conversation about adding them to the team WhatsApp group. Apparently everyone's on it. Well no actually no one has ever asked me to join. Aibu to be deeling hacked off about this. Also feeling a bit left out but is it worth mentioning; and if so how. Or am i being oversensitive?
Consider it a blessing. I've muted ours, it's just complete bollocks. By this time next week, I'll be gone from it.
Picktionary · 04/11/2020 09:08

What happened @Zwellers

Original poster
Zwellers · 07/11/2020 11:18

I asked in our team meeting this week. The group, which has current and former members isn't on work phones only personal mobies. They knew I wasn't part, it was a conscious decision as apparently they didn't think it appropriate to invite me.

OP posts:
BlueDaysTillChristmas · 07/11/2020 11:21

Bloody hell. Not appropriate? In what sense?

VettiyaIruken · 07/11/2020 11:22

That's bonkers. Why did they say it wasn't appropriate?

Nottherealslimshady · 07/11/2020 11:27

Are you the manager of the team? I could understand that youd be left out then

Whatsonmymindgrapes · 07/11/2020 11:51

Are you their manager?

AlCalavicci · 07/11/2020 11:58

Before you knew there was a WhatsApp group did you think you were missing bits of info ? New project, info on existing one , meetings etc .
If you did then they should add you but if not then you are missing nothing at all, I was on one that was set up so if needed people could swap or get extra shifts - all good , but it quickly went down hill to either bitching about stuff that was their fault ( got into trouble for not wearing uniform) or irelvent ( got a parking ticket )
I left it a month or so after it was set up.

ballsdeep · 07/11/2020 12:22

@KurriKawari

I need an excuse to leave ours, want to swap?
Me too! A group of over 20 people, the same 10 replying all the time and having private convos on there and sending stupid memes. I hate it. But whenever anyone tried to leave they are added again
Original poster
Zwellers · 07/11/2020 12:26

Not missing any work stuff at all that I know of. It was bought up in a discussion about mental/health, resilience welcoming new team members etc. Manager to some not all but outrank all of them. Am just going to have to grow a pair but do feel a bit left out

OP posts:
Nottherealslimshady · 07/11/2020 13:58

I think its understandable as you're the manager to some and outrank everybody, the manager isn't like fully a member of the team, they would have to censor themselves if you were a member so I dont think you should take it personally just be glad they have a place to support eachother and talk freely about their workplace.

LouiseTrees · 07/11/2020 13:59

@Titsinknicks

'Hi guys, didn't realise there was a team WhatsApp group - must have missed that one! Please can you add me? Thanks!'

Have you said this?

This.