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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Not invited to team WhatsApp group

46 replies

Zwellers · 03/11/2020 00:24

Part of a team of 15 people. Most have us have worked together some time. New starter has joined and over a zoom meeting there was a conversation about adding them to the team WhatsApp group. Apparently everyone's on it. Well no actually no one has ever asked me to join. Aibu to be deeling hacked off about this. Also feeling a bit left out but is it worth mentioning; and if so how. Or am i being oversensitive?

OP posts:
Keeva2017 · 07/11/2020 14:03

If you manage some of them it’s totally normal you are not on the group and I honestly think it’s a bit weird you asked? You left that you are senior to them out of your op and it’s a major drip feed.

SwedishEdith · 07/11/2020 14:03

Oh, I think it's completely understandable you weren't added then. In fact, would you really want to be? It'd be very uncomfortable for them.

rm15 · 07/11/2020 14:19

We have a work WhatsApp group. Neither I, or the rest of the leadership team in the department are in it. It’s not appropriate and comes with the territory of management responsibility. I was in it and when promoted I left. The other superintendent didn’t ever get added to start with. There will be convos like “running late be there soon”, “god so hungover” etc etc and don’t want manager seeing that.
Honestly don’t feel bad.

TestingTestingWonTooFree · 07/11/2020 14:28

Not at all surprising to leave out a senior person. Having you on there would inhibit discussion. You’re being overly sensitive.

SugarCoatIt · 07/11/2020 14:31

Given your position, I'm not surprised they didn't invite you, and I wouldn't be fussed about not being part of it either - you won't be missing it on much, and it's good they've got a place to vent and build comraderie without feeling like big brother is on them.

I'm surprised about how you feel about it all, to be honest with you.

misskatamari · 07/11/2020 14:43

If you were the same level as then I think you would be justified feeling hurt by this, but reading your update, no, I think it's understandable. I'm sorry it's upset you, but if you are higher up than them I think it's fair enough they didn't include you in it

grassgreenthisside · 07/11/2020 14:44

But you're not a team member you're a team manager? Comes with the job I'm afraid.
We have a group and absolutely do not have our manager in it.

Judystilldreamsofhorses · 07/11/2020 15:05

Since March we have had an office group chat. Our manager is not on it, and I very much doubt would want to be. There is a lot of chat about what people are having for dinner, and what we watched on TV last night - basically mimicking the conversation we would usually have first thing and at going home time.

I think this comes with being in a senior role, unfortunately.

Heatherjayne1972 · 07/11/2020 15:12

I would be thrilled to be left out
Between two jobs I’m on 6 watts app groups

Chickychickydodah · 07/11/2020 15:14

I wouldn’t care , your phone will be going off every 30 mins with constant drivel. Lucky escape I’d say .

Picktionary · 07/11/2020 15:14

Aw sorry to hear you feel left out! I would not like a whatsapp with a senior or manager though! ...

trunumber · 07/11/2020 15:21

It is appropriate to leave you out if you are senior to them, that's really normal and not personal

bluebeck · 07/11/2020 15:24

OP did you really not realise it is because you are the boss? Confused

IndieTara · 07/11/2020 15:27

My ex team had a new manager start. He set up a team what's app group ( he was based in another country so useful to have ) he didn't include me in it. 6 weeks later I was told I was being made redundant

shesellsseashells99 · 07/11/2020 15:39

Think of it as a lucky escape!

GaraMedouar · 07/11/2020 15:42

I’m in a dept of 6 currently , 3 other ladies, me, plus two guys one who is the manager. The women all set up a WhatsApp group with another couple of women from outside the dept. The one who initiated the group I believe is a woman who blanked me a couple of years ago. I didn’t know why I was excluded, apart from I worked from home half my week. I did feel excluded but then I thought oh well I only work with them , I’m not at school anymore , don’t want to get involved in pettiness.

suggestionsplease1 · 07/11/2020 15:48

Someone in my team started up a WhatsApp group but didn't include our manager...and then my manager started another one for us all with a similar sounding name. Now I have to remember which is which when chatting. A couple in the team do use the first one for a bit of a moan.

whatisgoingtohappen · 07/11/2020 15:54

We (9 of us) have a WhatsApp group started by our line manager - he is in the group - and to be honest I wish he wasn’t.

He wants it to be for funnies and told us to stop talking about work (not gossiping - doing actual work I mean) one day when it was convenient to exchange information that way. Could we use email for work he said.

I don’t he should be on there censoring a conversation that was helping us. If he is unhappy with what we are talking about he should leave the group.

I would like to leave the group but that would look weird.

In fact the more I think about it the more annoying it is. On my personal phone I have been added to a group and then told what I can and can’t talk about.

unchienandalusia · 07/11/2020 16:02

Totally normal for lead ship / management to be left off a WhatsApp group. It's not a work channel! Feels sucky but that's the way it is. There are probably splinter groups off that main one anyway.

BackforGood · 07/11/2020 16:18

I'd ignore the poll results due to your major drip feed.

Like everyone else, I was going to agree with what @Titsinknicks said early on, until you mentioned to are Manager to many of them and senior to all of them As this is a social thing, then of course that is appropriate. PErfectly normal not to invite your Managers into a chit chat group

Rosebel · 07/11/2020 16:28

We have a WhatsApp group at work and none of managers or team leaders are on it. Tbh I wish I hadn't joined. There's rarely anything on there apart from people bitching about work/management

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