Written Warning at work - My Fault

[Rubixed]

I have made a collosal fuck up in work and have been told I will be issued with a written warning that will stay on my record for 1 year. I own up to the mistake fully. I just hate working in the job now. I can't move past everyone knowing about it and whispering behind my back. I want to leave but I imagine it would be disclosed when potential employers ask for a reference? AIBU to feel trapped in this job that I am clearly no good at? It's so bad it's affecting my mental health and I don't know what to do.

If you owned the mistake and careful not to do it again, and Care with other stuff then hold head high and carry on. Work extra hard to prove it was a one-off fuck up. If in a year you hate it still, leave then. It’s not a good time to be looking for work elsewhere in most industries, so rise up!

If we were giving a reference we only confirm your job title, period of employment, perhaps salary.

We won’t answer other questions, just stating it is not our policy to answer other questions.

It's so hard isn't it.
I don't move on easily either.
But- every one makes a mistake at sone point.

Have you asked for support/ retraining?

We all fuck up, i guess the whispering will be along the lines of there but for grace of God

Keep your head down. Stay a year then apply for new jobs.

I have heard of employers asking previous employer is there are any current disciplinaries going on with potential employees, but I doubt yours would be mentioned.

I wouldn't worry about people talking about you. That's why these procedures were put in place, because they are commonplace. Especially in bigger organisations.

Surely they could have sacked you if they wanted to? My point is, are you maybe beating yourself up? I wouldn't leave atm, I'd wait until things are calmer in the world. That said, my friend got a new job in lockdown in a non essential industry.

I think it is made worse by the feeling that one of my bosses already thinks I'm not up to the job and this proves him right. I think the whispering is (rightly) how on earth did she miss that? It's a small company so everyone knows everything about everyone else and somehow the mistake seems more personal. I know I should ride it our but honestly it is hard to drag myself from my bed to my desk every morning.

Companies generally only give details of job title and dates of employment these days due to GDPR. Please try not to feel bad or let this knock your confidence. You are human and humans make mistakes.

That sounds tough, but I suspect you'll have earned a lot more credit than you realise for owning up to the mistake and accepting responsibility for it. As a manager, I can tell you that it's far more common for people to try to make excuses, pass the blame etc...even when it's patently obvious that they have fucked up. I much prefer those staff who are able to take it on the chin, accept it and learn from it. They are the ones who go far in my experience.

You say that you're clearly no good at your current job, but is that actually true? Anybody can make a mistake...we're all human. What is your work like the rest of the time? You are probably wrong that everyone is whispering behind your back, too - most of them are probably just relieved that it wasn't their fuck-up/hoping they won't be next.

How good is your relationship with your line manager? If they're decent, could you talk to them about how you're feeling? They might be able to reassure you that you are good at your job despite this recent blip.

If not, can you hold out for a while and then move? How long is it since you made the mistake? Some reference forms do ask if an employee has been subject to disciplinary measures, but I've only ever seen them ask about the last 12 months. Do you know how long the warning will stay on your file?

Please be kind to yourself. We all fuck up sometimes, and it probably isn't as bad as you think it is.

Speak to your manager and tell them how you're feeling. The disciplinary process is over so their role is only to provide support. That might be further training or supervision until you feel comfortable again

The whispering(if it is even happening) will be over in a few days when the next piece of office gossip lands. I made a massive error at work a few years ago. I barely even think of it now and no one ever talks about it. You'll be the same, and probably sooner than you think.

My industry so far (touch wood) seems relatively unaffected by the pandemic. So hopefully if the disciplinary wasn't mentioned I could have a new job by Christmas. I am not someone who is used to making mistakes in work or anywhere really so I know a lot of it is my own shame I am finding hard to live with. (My error cost a client a lot of money).

I think it is made worse by the feeling that one of my bosses already thinks I'm not up to the job and this proves him right.

X post. Do you know for a fact that he thinks this, or are you making an assumption? One mistake doesn't actually prove anything tbh.

This job was quite a big promotion and I have been in it for just over a year. Due to Covid I have had a lot of virtual training which has made it difficult for everyone. And I think boss gets frustrated that there is still a lot of processes I can't do.

I think a lot of us have been in your position, myself included! The urge to run away and find another job where no one knows what happened is incredibly strong at the time but hang in there! It is so uncomfortable coming into work at the time but really no one else at work is thinking about it more than you. Don’t torture yourself with it, we all make mistakes..especially with so much swirling around in our heads right now. This will pass 💐

Honestly we all fuck up sometimes. People at work may gossip about it for a bit to be honest, but in a few days they will be talking about something else. Keep your head down and just let things blow over before making any decisions.

I am not someone who is used to making mistakes in work or anywhere really so I know a lot of it is my own shame I am finding hard to live with. (My error cost a client a lot of money).

OK, so that makes it more difficult for you to live with, but it actually reflects the fact that most of the time, you clearly are good at your job. If you were fucking up all the time, you'd barely even register this.

Please don't focus on the one thing that you did wrong and forget about all the stuff that you get right on a daily basis. You wouldn't judge a colleague like that, would you? Unfortunately, there is no way of changing what happened, and I get that you feel bad about it, but give yourself a break - there is no point in replaying it over and over. You didn't do it deliberately. You're just human.

How recently did it happen?
I think you should try and hang on in there if you can. Your feelings will start to be less overwhelming with time.

Thank you @Claricestarling1 my DH has been trying to say the same thing to me all week.

Please don’t give yourself a hard time. We all make mistakes. The client lost a lot of money but ‘who died?’ If the ONLY reason you want to change jobs is because of this mistake- please don’t as the grass isn’t always greener.

Alexashutup, what a lovely and helpful post. X

I got the warning last week. I found my own error and reported it to my boss the week before that. So still all very new and raw. I thank God I'm still working from home and I don't have to interact with anyone

I truly believe people who make mistakes and learn from them come out better in the end than people who are overcautious and never make a mistake. If you can show everyone you've truly learnt from it you'd certainly get my respect.

@winewolfhowls

Alexashutup, what a lovely and helpful post. X

Yes. I agree thank you.

Ah feel for you. I would imagine it knocks confidence a bit too. I was in a club a few years ago. I hated it all accounts work. They told me pack up my things. It was awful. It knocked my confidence. Op you will get through it x