Written Warning at work - My Fault

[Rubixed]

I have made a collosal fuck up in work and have been told I will be issued with a written warning that will stay on my record for 1 year. I own up to the mistake fully. I just hate working in the job now. I can't move past everyone knowing about it and whispering behind my back. I want to leave but I imagine it would be disclosed when potential employers ask for a reference? AIBU to feel trapped in this job that I am clearly no good at? It's so bad it's affecting my mental health and I don't know what to do.

I am not someone who is used to making mistakes in work or anywhere really so I know a lot of it is my own shame I am finding hard to live with.

This is part of your 'problem'. You need to stop this as it won't do you any favours. We are all capable of f*ing up, everyone is.
Making mistakes is essential in my opinion as it adds extra layers to your learning and experience. They can make you better at what you do.

If you become afraid of making mistakes, or think that mistakes are not something you do then when they do happen you will not deal with them well at all.

More so in a professional setting I think if you handle a big mistake well and learn from it it can show you in a much better light that someone who crumbles under the pressure. You know the saying 'what doesn't kill you makes you stronger' and all that stuff.
I always think you need to own it, deal with it, learn from it and then move onwards and upwards.

@SandyY2K I agree each company has its own policy but legally, it is too much of a high risk for companies to give personal, detailed references as it exposes them to potential claims from disgruntled former employees. It is for this reason companies who are being properly advised by their Employment lawyers will generally only give basic references. I speak from experience too, with my lawyer hat on.

I am glad OP’s situation seems to have resolved.

Great approach, impressive.

my Big Boss always told us to own our mistakes, that way he could help smooth things over. if we fucked up ans tried to cover it up we were in very different waters.

i once made a colossal fuckup (service industry, busiest time of year, i missed a request for 10 front-of-house staff and had no way of moving anyone in time to solve it). told the Big Boss, he spoke to the head honcho, called in a couple of favours and saved the day.

i was given a written warning, which was justified. if i’d pretended it hadn’t happened i would have been fired as the situation would have escalated exponentially.

OP, this will soon be last week’s gossip. your boss is backing you, be a bit kinder to yourself and learn from the experience. this too shall pass.

In a couple of months, the heat of the situation will have blown over. I very much doubt your work colleagues are giving your mistake a second thought. It’s easy to feel paranoid when you feel vulnerable but I just don’t think people at work will be that interested. You made a mistake that didn’t cost anyone their lives, dust yourself off and hold your head high. Learn from your mistake but don’t let it define you! We are human beings and a consequence of that is that we are fallible. Be kind to yourself. What would you say to your best friend? Use the same language when talking to yourself. So you fucked up.. everyone does sometimes. This too shall pass

In a couple of months, the heat of the situation will have blown over. I very much doubt your work colleagues are giving your mistake a second thought. It’s easy to feel paranoid when you feel vulnerable but I just don’t think people at work will be that interested. You made a mistake that didn’t cost anyone their lives, dust yourself off and hold your head high. Learn from your mistake but don’t let it define you! We are human beings and a consequence of that is that we are fallible. Be kind to yourself. What would you say to your best friend? Use the same language when talking to yourself. So you fucked up.. everyone does sometimes. This too shall pass

@Rubixed if you want to get ahead, you must not make any mistakes. People who are very senior do not make any mistakes. Like our Prime Minister, the President of the United States - you know, those kinds of people. They haven’t made any mistakes, have they?

In all seriousness - everyone, EVERYONE makes mistakes. I’m a lawyer and I have made a few. On Friday, I accidentally deleted an important folder from our file management system at work (luckily managed to get IT to reinstate it!) You sound like you’re being really hard on yourself and I bet you have learned from this. Also kudos for telling your boss: that’s what I was always trained to do - tell your boss so they can take any remedial or protective action.

This too shall pass. 💐

@Rubixed if you want to get ahead, you must not make any mistakes. People who are very senior do not make any mistakes. Like our Prime Minister, the President of the United States - you know, those kinds of people. They haven’t made any mistakes, have they?

In all seriousness - everyone, EVERYONE makes mistakes. I’m a lawyer and I have made a few. On Friday, I accidentally deleted an important folder from our file management system at work (luckily managed to get IT to reinstate it!) You sound like you’re being really hard on yourself and I bet you have learned from this. Also kudos for telling your boss: that’s what I was always trained to do - tell your boss so they can take any remedial or protective action.

This too shall pass. 💐

Great news OP. You boss clearly thinks well of you. You have a good plan moving forward. Enjoy work next week.

Oh that’s a great update OP. Hope you’re feeling a bit better now x

A wise person once said to me... 'it's not the size of the fuck up that's important... it's the magnificence of your recovery'!