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Original poster

Which child to have in my childcare "bubble"?

120 replies

GlummyMcGlummerson · 02/11/2020 14:34

I look after 2 different friends' kids on different days as a favour, since beginning of the term (and yes this was ok, I checked it out and we have been in Tier 1 all along). From Thursday I can only look after one as part of a childcare "bubble".

First child I pick up from school on Monday's, same school as my DC, and her mum arrives at 5.30pm and treats us to a takeaway and wine. Friend is a single mum, her own mum was picking her DD up until COVID and she's shielding so won't do childcare.

Second child I pick up from her pre school when I leave work on a Tuesday lunchtime and have her until 3.30, when I drop her off at her house before collecting my own kids from school. The pre school only can do 15 hours for her , and won't let her have another 3 hours, which is why I help out. My friend is married but her husband has a high demand job currently WFH

Both friends are key workers.

Both children as easy and lovely to look after.

Friend 1 - her work have said that she can WFH after school hours, meaning she'd be WFH until 6.30pm which she isn't keen on doing 5 days a week. She wants to put her DD in breakfast club on Mondays and me to continue to do pick up, so that she can do long days Mondays so that she can finish properly at 3.30pm on Tuesday and Wednesdays

Friend 2 has asked the school if she they can take her DD for the extra hours in light of lockdown - the answer is no, they are at full capacity. So she's also asked me to be part of a childcare bubble. Her DH will carry on WFH but doesn't want to have to watch her on Tuesday afternoons because it will be hard for him, he's constantly on Zoom calls.

Who would you pick? I feel awful that I can only pick 1! I'm inclined to help my single friend - her exH can't help as he lives at the other side of the country, but my married friend's DH technically can do the childcare, he just doesn't want to. Then again? My single friend has been offered a solution from her work whereas my married friend's work and school haven't.

OP posts:
EmilySpinach · 02/11/2020 16:08

@HaudYerWheeshtBawbag

As friends 2 isn’t single can she even have a bubble.
A childcare bubble is distinct from a support bubble.
Mumofsend · 02/11/2020 16:08

Friend 1 without doubt

Notemyname · 02/11/2020 16:11

Friend one.

Like the rest of us, husband of friend 2 will have to put their child in front of TV or pre set up activity, and juggle looking after them whilst working.

My 3 year old son has been home from nursery self isolating twice in the last month. That's 28 full days of juggling working from home and childcare, (not to mention 4 months earlier in lockdown...), no reason he can't do a couple of hours once a week for a month!

AdelaideK · 02/11/2020 16:13

Definitely friend 1.

Friend 2 and her husband sound pretty cheeky.

Believehope · 02/11/2020 16:19

I had assumed that a childcare bubble was for members of the family such as grandparents to look after children. Surely you are acting as a childminder, and as such should go through the usual processes to be recognised as one formally. Then you could look after both children.

EmilySpinach · 02/11/2020 16:21

@Believehope

I had assumed that a childcare bubble was for members of the family such as grandparents to look after children. Surely you are acting as a childminder, and as such should go through the usual processes to be recognised as one formally. Then you could look after both children.
The guidance refers to ‘informal childcare’.
Which child to have in my childcare "bubble"?
MzHz · 02/11/2020 16:22

As a former lone parent, NOTHING pisses me off more than a dad who doesn’t step up, or who allows his dw to do everything, or who refuses to go out of his way for the kids.

Help the one who’s in the corner

NOT the one who has put her in one. Sounds like they could actually pay for an au pair but would rather offload their responsibilities to an unpaid help.

Your friend 1 doesn’t want to work to 6.30, I don’t blame her! That’s grim! Plus there is no guarantee she’d be able to work effectively when dc is home.

Ghouliet · 02/11/2020 16:29

Friend 1. She’s a single parent so no one else to help her, plus she appreciates your support as she gives you wine etc to she her thanks.

Friend 2s husband needs to step up, organise his work for a few weeks and look after his own child.

happylittlechick · 02/11/2020 16:32

How old is friend 1s child? Pre schooler is less likely to allow parents to work while they watch tv than an 8/9yo. That would influence my decision.

Petitmum · 02/11/2020 16:33

Friend 1 - single mum!

PurplePattern · 02/11/2020 16:34

Very simple and easy choice (although I do understand you obviously wanting to help out both friends):

Friend 1 definitely, because she's a single parent.

Friend 2's DH has to step up, it's only for 4 weeks.

museumum · 02/11/2020 16:36

without your help
child 1 would be amusing themselves watching tv for 2-3 hours five days a week
child 2 would be amusing themselves watching tv for 3 hours once a week (albeit they are younger)

Unless child 1 is actually 11 or 12 years old I'd say help friend 1 out.

jmh740 · 02/11/2020 16:38

Friend 1, friend 2 has a partner who can support her

Lovemusic33 · 02/11/2020 16:39

I would chose friend 1, the child goes to the same school as your dd so technically your not coming into contact with all the germs from another school/nursery. She’s a single parent so probably needs it more than friend 2.

ChalkDinosaur · 02/11/2020 16:39

@Believehope

I had assumed that a childcare bubble was for members of the family such as grandparents to look after children. Surely you are acting as a childminder, and as such should go through the usual processes to be recognised as one formally. Then you could look after both children.
It can be any informal childcare, doesn't have to be grandparents/family. The process of becoming a registered childminder is not something the OP could complete before lockdown starts on Thursday...
Believehope · 02/11/2020 16:46

Fair enough. Seems the only issue is which child to pick then!

For the future, the childminder option might work. Wasn't there a huge kerfuffle a while ago about only registered childminders/nannies looking after children? I was thinking of that.

Judashascomeintosomemoney · 02/11/2020 16:50

Friend 1, for a few reasons. A bit of adult contact for your single friend. The child already attends the same school as your DC, so less mixing all round. More convenient for you, you’re going there anyway, so less contact with other locations for you. And, though it’s hard for Friend 2, her DH needs to step up. You could look at it as doing her a favour for the future, maybe if he starts doing his bit now whilst they have no choice, he’ll continue and stop thinking it’s beneath him.

laudete · 02/11/2020 16:53

I'd pick Friend 1 as they clearly need the most support.

Friend 2 has someone else at home for the child. Lots of families have children at home, while they are WFH. And they'll all have at least one anecdote about a child needing them while they're on a Zoom call.

Hardbackwriter · 02/11/2020 16:56

I would also pick friend 1 but I do think the husband of friend 2 is getting an unfairly hard time. It really isn't easy to WFH while caring for a child of preschool age, and in some jobs it just isn't possible. He's likely to have to adjust his working hours instead of trying to do both at once - which is, of course, exactly the option that friend 1 has but doesn't want to take...

LunchBoxPolice · 02/11/2020 16:57

Friend 1

Supersimkin2 · 02/11/2020 17:00

Friend 1.

Friend 2's DH can't have that many Zoom calls at that time, once a week. Cheeky.

NailsNeedDoing · 02/11/2020 17:00

Friend 1, for all the reasons.

Changedmyname26 · 02/11/2020 17:05

I would do both.

Baboutheocelot · 02/11/2020 17:07

I would help friend 1.
If friend 2s child is of pre school age then can’t she look for a nursery or childminder to have her child that day? I know it’s short notice but the husband could look after the child in the meantime.

RandomMess · 02/11/2020 17:17

Friend 1

Friend 2 needs to sort out her DH attitude and start taking on some parenting responsibilities.

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