Which child to have in my childcare "bubble"?

[GlummyMcGlummerson]

I look after 2 different friends' kids on different days as a favour, since beginning of the term (and yes this was ok, I checked it out and we have been in Tier 1 all along). From Thursday I can only look after one as part of a childcare "bubble".

First child I pick up from school on Monday's, same school as my DC, and her mum arrives at 5.30pm and treats us to a takeaway and wine. Friend is a single mum, her own mum was picking her DD up until COVID and she's shielding so won't do childcare.

Second child I pick up from her pre school when I leave work on a Tuesday lunchtime and have her until 3.30, when I drop her off at her house before collecting my own kids from school. The pre school only can do 15 hours for her , and won't let her have another 3 hours, which is why I help out. My friend is married but her husband has a high demand job currently WFH

Both friends are key workers.

Both children as easy and lovely to look after.

Friend 1 - her work have said that she can WFH after school hours, meaning she'd be WFH until 6.30pm which she isn't keen on doing 5 days a week. She wants to put her DD in breakfast club on Mondays and me to continue to do pick up, so that she can do long days Mondays so that she can finish properly at 3.30pm on Tuesday and Wednesdays

Friend 2 has asked the school if she they can take her DD for the extra hours in light of lockdown - the answer is no, they are at full capacity. So she's also asked me to be part of a childcare bubble. Her DH will carry on WFH but doesn't want to have to watch her on Tuesday afternoons because it will be hard for him, he's constantly on Zoom calls.

Who would you pick? I feel awful that I can only pick 1! I'm inclined to help my single friend - her exH can't help as he lives at the other side of the country, but my married friend's DH technically can do the childcare, he just doesn't want to. Then again? My single friend has been offered a solution from her work whereas my married friend's work and school haven't.

Friend 1 without question.
Friend 2 husband is available and the excuse that he has a high pressure job wfh is a non starter. I have a high pressure job and often have very serious phonecalls all with my under 2 year old. People have become used to it!

Friend 1 definitely. Friend 2's husband can step up.

Charge them a penny a session and make it formal childcare.

Perhaps one benefit of the pandemic will be that entitled men with Big Jobs learn multi-tasking.
Plus, I see it's the single mum who is decent enough to thank you with takeways and wine!

How does friend 2 thank you?

I would help friend 1 definitely.

Are you sure you can’t do both? I’ve a friend who has help from grandparents for child care reasons on a Thursday. But the same grandparents help out my friend’s sister with her children on a Wednesday. The grandparents haven’t chosen one set of grand children over the other. They’re going to carry on doing both. I’m not 100% on the rules (is anyone?), but it does say childcare can continue. If you can’t do both I think I might pick friend 2 as the dh probably isn’t being given much choice with work. He probably has to do it and it’ll be pretty impossible with a pre-schooler at home. Friend 1 does have a solution. Maybe she could ask if after school club has space if she still wants to work a long day on Mondays?

I can't believe friend 2 would expect you to help instead of getting her husband to watch their child for a few hours. Surley she understands that the vast majority of those working from home during the summer also had their children at home?

It's not even a contest to be honest as friend 1 hasn't got another parent able to watch her child whereas friend 2 does, it just appears he thinks he is too important to do childcare.

The single one working until 6.30 at night with a child who is young enough to need childcare is utterly miserable and it is so hard doing everything on your own. Friend 2 does have a solution already and it involves her DH and father of the actual child being a parent.

What a lovely friend you are op x

Friend one.

I'm struggling to think of any job that can be done from home that can't be rearranged by a couple of hours. He's just going to have to organise his time differently for a few weeks.

I'd help friend 1

Friend 1, because it also enables you to be an adult support to her as a lone parent. Friend 2's DH needs to step up for the sake of one afternoon a week.

Friend 1.
My husband has a very busy high demand job but he blocks time out for childcare when i'm busy/school pick up etc.
You sound a very good friend OP

Friend 1, I think she needs you the most. But just wanted to say, what a great friend you are @GlummyMcGlummerson.

Def friend 1
Friends 2 husband needs to step up for sure.

Friend one for sure

Another vote for friend 1.

Friend 2's husband will have to make it work like the rest of us do.
I've literally hosted calls where my toddler has burst in to talk to me about their need to poo..... People understand and deal with it!

Friend 1. More balanced arrangement and actually needed.

Friend 2 is insane to think you should look after her kid instead of her husband.

@ArosGartref

Single adult by bubble with friend 1.

Childcare bubble with friend 2.

I don't think the spirit of the law is that anyone is left without childcare. Although your friend clearly needs to sort out her husband irrespective of any lockdown rules.

I thought this was allowed also? This is what I was going to suggest.

Friend 1 single friend needs support more

Friend 1.

Does she have a proper support bubble already? If not you could do that and carry on with the takeaway/wine...

Look after Friend 1s child
Friend 2s husband will just have to suck it up like everyone else

I'd help friend 1, friend 2 already has help with her dh, he needs to cop on and do his fair share.

Friend one. It would be friend 2 dh that you would be helping, he can find another solution or such it up like so many people have had to do. Plus friend 1 treats you every week.

Friend 1 without a doubt! Friend 1 has 1 option for childcare - you. Friend 2 has 2 options - you or her DH.

Friend 1. Friend 2 has a DH who could pick up and work around if he felt like it.