Take a Break magazine - guess the story.

[GrapevineFires]

My mum used to buy it weekly. I haven't read one since my teens, but I had the urge this week to do some of the puzzles. I had forgotten all about the sensational, misleading headlines.

This week's cover headline: "Mum wanted a baby so she took my TWIN GIRLS. Only ONE came home ALIVE" (Capital words all TAB).

What do you think actually happened?

Anyone got any other 'gripping' headlines with a very different story?

Classic...

I am absolutely buying a TAB this weekend!!

@WeBuiltThisBuffetOnSausageRoll

There was one which must be from 20 years ago now about a lad of about 15 who started sleeping with his mates mum. He wrote her all sorts of poetry and how he would buy her a horse.

"Dear Tony's mum, I'll buy you a horse
If you and I can have intercourse;
I'll get you a beautiful Shetland Pony
As long as you promise you won't tell Tony"

It wasn’t as good as that.

Read one recently that said on the front cover my hubby had twins with the neighbour- she was my friend. Really implied the husband was a cheat.
In reality the kindly neighbour/friend was a surrogate for the couple who are still very much together.
I don't buy them but get my mother's old ones a few weeks later

Me too!! Need a good laugh. Does anyone win any of those competitions? The winners always seem to be from somewhere like Skegness or Port Talbot.

I am always fascinated by the 'I didn't realise I was pregnant, thought it was trapped wind and next minute I was giving birth' stories.

Oooh. I’ve just found they do a monthly round up magazine on Readly!!

Sorry, I got distracted and wandered away, forgetting I had posted! The work experience was 20 years ago so I can’t remember exactly. I was about 21. But I did have to phone a woman who had filled in the “do you have a story” form and talk to her about how her marriage only lasted a week. I remember being told to ask “and how did that make you feel” about everything. “Did you cry?” I can’t remember the details and I don’t know if the story was published in the end. At the time they also had a section where a made up family tested and reviewed various things and I wrote one of those - Mummy liked how easy the turkey twizzlers were to cook and little Jimmy loved the dinosaur shapes! I also remember the editor asking me about fashion/ clothing and how I thought TaB should tackle it, a difficult area as they weren’t sure how aspirational their readers were and what kind of clothes they should feature.

At a very low point some years ago, I once took the offer of freelance writing for a similar mag...

Couldn't do it folks, just couldn't do it, and I've written some utter dross in my time, and some wildly gag making copy, advertorials etc.. but nope, even I have some limits!

I’ve been in Take a Break! Believe it or not, writer kept calling me to check she had the facts straight. I told her to just have fun with it

In my story, I was “flustered” and I “rushed”, “gasped” and “squealed”. My husband “chuckled”.

Does anyone win any of those competitions? The winners always seem to be from somewhere like Skegness or Port Talbot.

When they first had the supermarket trolley dash, the winners always seemed to have names from a generation that suggested they probably wouldn't be 'dashing' and making the very most of the prize. I think they must have had a lot of complaints, as later they changed the rules to allow the winner to nominate a younger/fitter/healthier/more able-bodied person to run for them.

Maybe they cunningly hoped to get a juicy story from it sooner or later to balance things out: "I won a trolley dash, my neighbour's granddaughter ran on my behalf and she kept on running home with the lot - now it's her table that's groaning under my groceries!!!"

The most gruesome "Top Tip" was in the summer special of 1997.

Doreen from Hull thoughtfully fashioned a Safeway carrier bag into a nappy pair of swimming trunks for Dave when he came down nororvirus in Benidorm.

23 years later, my eyes have not recovered from the accompanying photo of Dave stood in the pool with just a carrier bag around his nethers.

@RhubarbBikini should Dave have been in the pool norovirus? 😱

How timely!

DH has just come in with this weeks issues of

Take A Break
Chat
That's Life
Real People
and last but certainly not least Love it!

That's my evening sorted. I do and have done the competitions for years.

Cracking up at the comments on here

And yes I have won prizes. The best being a Cheque for £500.

Lord knows my PMT means I have laughed and been amused by literally nothing in 2 days... until I read this thanks you hilarious lot

Yes, the swimming trunks

May I recommend the lonely hearts in Yours magazine? Dsis found herself a potential bloke: “one-legged gentleman into caravanning and car booting...”.

Always amuses us the volumes of ladies seeking gentlemen: “Must be car owner” - obviously a chauffeur is top priority !

Shockingly lots of the people are in their 50s! Either they’re telling porkies or I’m imagining myself to be more with-it than I should be

@StillCoughingandLaughing

Does anyone remember the advert for Love It! when that launched? Everyone revealed their dilemmas in song with a cheeky ‘Don’t you just love it?’ There was an ageing poll dancer insisting ‘This is the best job I’ve ever had!’, while a tracksuit-clad trollop standing on a Sunday League touchline proudly proclaimed ‘Any one of them could be my baby’s dad!’ with a big grin on her face.

We always used to get TV Quick when I was a teenager, which ran these alongside the TV stories. I do remember a particular favourite, which was a girl shocked to discover the ‘masculine long-haired hunk’ she was dating (a toad with a stringy ponytail and skin like a cold margherita) was secretly in love with Peter Andre.

YES. Every now and then that song will come into my head one of those things I thought I had imagined...

'I sent him to the chippy to get me a chipolata for tea but it was his sausage getting battered by Paula the fish fryer.'

hahaha

My guilty pleasure in December is buy all the Christmas editions of the magazines, I’ve done it for years.

@IrmaFayLear

Me too!! Need a good laugh. Does anyone win any of those competitions? The winners always seem to be from somewhere like Skegness or Port Talbot.

My granny won a tea set from TAB in the 90s. I think it was from BHS. It was third prize and she was most miffed, as first prize was a cruise.

You've just reminded me of my favourite part of these magazines. One of them had a column called 'aren't men daft?' full of asinine stories about their readers' spouses. It was full of shite like 'I sent my Kevin out for a bag of apples and he came back with an apple pie! Guess we aren't eating apples this week!' You'd earn like £30 for writing in about your husband being an idiot. I hope mens rights groups never get wind of that column.

My BIL and his then GF were in TaB. They’d had sex on an airplane in the loo, everyone on the plane applauded/ cheered when they came out of the loo. Gave TaB and interview about it and they posed for some really cheesy photos for the interview. Was so cringe.

@ILoveYoga

My BIL and his then GF were in TaB. They’d had sex on an airplane in the loo, everyone on the plane applauded/ cheered when they came out of the loo. Gave TaB and interview about it and they posed for some really cheesy photos for the interview. Was so cringe.

Bork

I love this thread. I predict a huge increase in sales of Tab this weekend lol