Take a Break magazine - guess the story.

[GrapevineFires]

My mum used to buy it weekly. I haven't read one since my teens, but I had the urge this week to do some of the puzzles. I had forgotten all about the sensational, misleading headlines.

This week's cover headline: "Mum wanted a baby so she took my TWIN GIRLS. Only ONE came home ALIVE" (Capital words all TAB).

What do you think actually happened?

Anyone got any other 'gripping' headlines with a very different story?

@GrapevineFires

I love TAB!! I remember a few years back every week there was a story about a 60 something woman being conned by a much younger Turkish/Moroccan/Egyptian husband.

I remember that. They ran them for years. Then it turned out that one particular Turkish man had scammed a couple of TAB readers.

I must say I'm disappointed with the current brainwaves. They used to be much funnier.

Best brain ever was the suggestion to sanitary pads as slippers. Inspired!

I was on the jury on a case that ended up in Pick Me Up.

I bloody love TAB and I don’t care. The stories are great fun. There was one which must be from 20 years ago now about a lad of about 15 who started sleeping with his mates mum. He wrote her all sorts of poetry and how he would buy her a horse.
I kept that story in my diary for a while. It was a reminder that no matter how shit my life wasn’t bad enough to write dreadful poems.

Take a break fate and fortune is even worse for daft stories with ridiculous headlines.

I would love you to share the self care though!

I think that's exactly the kind of fellow every mother can only dream of coming along and sweeping her precious daughter off her feet for a lifetime of guaranteed bliss. Only a prince among men could ever be romantic enough to phone a random number and verbally abuse the unsuspecting young woman who answers at the same time as he's grunting and evacuating a steaming turd.

That wasn't meant to quote that comment - it was referring to 3ormorecharacters's favourite Thats Life Mills & Boon tale!

There was one which must be from 20 years ago now about a lad of about 15 who started sleeping with his mates mum. He wrote her all sorts of poetry and how he would buy her a horse.

"Dear Tony's mum, I'll buy you a horse
If you and I can have intercourse;
I'll get you a beautiful Shetland Pony
As long as you promise you won't tell Tony"

There was one about a woman who was conned by a Moroccan man. So she stayed out there, despite all her family trying to get her to see sense. And married another bloke she'd known five minutes and who love bombed her. Wonder what happened to her. It's rather sad that she really thought he loved her.

@3ormorecharacters

This is from That's Life rather than TaB but still my absolute favourite. So romantic.

In time I left my home at xxx street and travelled to xxx

A story to tell the grandchildren many years from now. How did you and grandad meet? "He sent me indecent text messages after he saw my phone number in a toilet door and realised that yes, he was looking for a slag..."

For those with amazon prime, these gems are available for free on prime reading!

This is going back a bit, but does anyone know what happened to Donna Still? She was a lady with leukaemia who had young twin daughters and was sometimes featured. From what I remember she wasn't expecting to see them become teenagers.

Yes, I remember her. Must be about 15 years ago?

@Gancanny

A story to tell the grandchildren many years from now. How did you and grandad meet? "He sent me indecent text messages after he saw my phone number in a toilet door and realised that yes, he was looking for a slag..."

I follow Take a Shite on Twitter which is funny but some of the comments about the shit tips are brilliant! 😂

I always ask visitors from the UK to bring me the latest TAB (cost over €3 here )

However one friend let me down badly one year and brought Hello and OK with her, not a TAB in sight How could she do this I RAGED, me and her had been best friends all our lives ever since we'd bonded at the school gates two years ago. Tears rolled down my cheeks as she handed me the glossy mags and I fled upstairs sobbing uncontrollably. Fortunately Kev, my devoted husband of three weeks gave me some space and comforted her all night on the sofa bed.

My late Mum used to get piles of third hand TABs every now and again, all with the competition form cut out at the back. When we used to visit me and DC used to read our way through the pile in date order. I think he was only about 10 when he asked why women were always falling for Turkish waiters who stole their money "Don't they read Take a Break"?

My SIL was in it once with a sad face about anti-social neighbours/feral teens. Mind you, their cousin was once on Jeremy Kyle so I shouldn't be surprised. (Cousin had learned that love-rat boyfriend had multiple kids with different women, including her. God knows why, he was minging. He wasn't a carpet fitter though, he was professionally unemployed).

If you've not read it before, this thread in Classics is absolute gold:

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/mumsnet_classics/3175616-BRIDES-AGONY-Bum-Torn-Apart-By-Wedding-Dress

"'the cat meowed with glee as I entered the front door of my flat in Hinkley Ave, Berks. 'Looks like it's just you and me tonight, Mavis' I muttered as she fixed me with a meaningful stare. My partner, Gary, was working late yet again. Sighting, I reached for the bar of chocolate I'd treated myself to and settled down to watch the soaps'

me and DC
Aargh, I mean DC and I

I love the festive editions of TAB and co. They manage to shoehorn Christmas mentions into every story. Like 'sick hubby stabbed me in the bum while I was cooking mince pies' or 'our festive wedding turned to bloodshed' and half the time when you read the story, it actually happened in October or something.

I keep getting ads on Facebook to sell my story to these magazines. I'm a bit worried about what that says about my social media useage that they think I've got some sort of Jezza Kyle stuff going on.

I think you'd love this page OP https://mobile.twitter.com/TakeAShite?s=09

My favourites are the comments at the end :
'Ryan said, yeah I did have an affair with Donna's friend, Shaz, we were going through a bad time - what she said was all lies.I don't want to talk about it'
Shaz said 'Donna knows what she did - she's a liar. I love Ryan'

This thread has cheered me up on a dreary day especially some of the spoof stories "in the style of". Take a Break, the Viz of women's magazines....Er, they were spoofs weren't they?!

genuinely laughing out loud...

Im always amazed how many weddings these folk manage to have. I can't even find one person to marry but, after twinkly Dave, who swept Tracey off her feet after being unlucky with her first husband runs off with her best friend Janette, 'in time' Tracey goes on to re marry and pop out another child or 2 ... and repeat! 😆

Does anyone remember the advert for Love It! when that launched? Everyone revealed their dilemmas in song with a cheeky ‘Don’t you just love it?’ There was an ageing poll dancer insisting ‘This is the best job I’ve ever had!’, while a tracksuit-clad trollop standing on a Sunday League touchline proudly proclaimed ‘Any one of them could be my baby’s dad!’ with a big grin on her face.

We always used to get TV Quick when I was a teenager, which ran these alongside the TV stories. I do remember a particular favourite, which was a girl shocked to discover the ‘masculine long-haired hunk’ she was dating (a toad with a stringy ponytail and skin like a cold margherita) was secretly in love with Peter Andre.