Take a Break magazine - guess the story.

[GrapevineFires]

My mum used to buy it weekly. I haven't read one since my teens, but I had the urge this week to do some of the puzzles. I had forgotten all about the sensational, misleading headlines.

This week's cover headline: "Mum wanted a baby so she took my TWIN GIRLS. Only ONE came home ALIVE" (Capital words all TAB).

What do you think actually happened?

Anyone got any other 'gripping' headlines with a very different story?

The phrase "pushed our baby into the world" makes me want to throw up in my mouth

EmmaGrundyForPM

Not sure off the top of my head which episode it was, but here's the clip!

Ah, it turns out it was Series 2, Episode 6: "Alan Wide Shut".

Does anybody remember the piece that Dave Gorman did on the sensationalist trashy magazines? He commented that they'd have details of all the tragic stories of murder, violence, heartbreak and sickness splashed large across the front page (often with rather poor-taste exclamation marks) - and in the middle of them all, a pretty cover model with a great big happy beaming smile across her face

For those of us who thought that the "Don't You Just Love It" TV ad for Love It magazine might have been a fever dream

(and now I'm skipping around work singing "This is the best job that I've ever ha-ad!")

You can usually tell how a story is going to end within the few few lines , ie

My best mate had nowhere to stay, so she moved in with us ..........

@WeBuiltThisBuffetOnSausageRoll

Ah, it turns out it was Series 2, Episode 6: "Alan Wide Shut".

Thank you! Sending it to my Mum right now

Pregnant women always ‘cradle’ their ‘bumps’ don’t they?

‘I sat cradling my bump as I sobbed my heart out’.

‘I cradled my bump in terror’.

Has anyone mentioned the woman who let her husband name their daughter Lanesra then realised its arsenal backwards

‘I took a job’ - always dangerous in TAB world

‘With the arrival of our fourth child, Macey-Leigh, money was tight, so I took a job in the bingo hall, and that’s where I met Steve...’

Has anyone mentioned the woman who let her husband name their daughter Lanesra then realised its arsenal backwards

Somebody posted a clip of an American news feature about that (they had to explain what Arsenal was as most of the viewers wouldn't have had a clue), but they said (if they had the story right) that the mother of little Lanesra didn't realise until over two years later when the father 'explained' it. Am I the only one who saw it instantly? Don't most people see a 'yoonique' name that screams "Contrived!!!!!" and then try to work out where it came from? Like with the name Nevaeh; it's rarely even a difficult mixed-up anagram - just a word backwards.

Seriously, who wouldn't even think of asking their partner how they arrived at or where they heard of a name that appears to have just come completely out of the blue? Like you wouldn't think anything of the appearance of a coffee cup or a book in your shared living room, but if you got home and there was a baby rhino in there, you might just ask the question!

Pregnant women always ‘cradle’ their ‘bumps’ don’t they

And they always rush out to buy bootees and ‘snuggle suits’ for the new arrival. I’m not even sure what a snuggle suit is? Like a baby grow? Or one of those all in one things they wear outside in winter? And if it’s the latter, why buys multiples?

This thread is hilarious. My mum always bought TAB, That's life and People's friend. They were so cringey but hilarious at the same time. PF always came with a pattern where you could crochet or knit your own scarf/jumper/hat/xmas snowman.

Tab was pure cringe. "I thought I was dying.... it was just trapped wind!!"

I liked reading The Grumps food reviews, they always made me feel hungry. The item with the best review always had "STASH IT" printed next to it. The back pages had Sally Sensible and Betty Barmy on them were readers would send in their silly stories to top tips or things their kids/grandkids had said.

But stories were just the best. Pp upthread mentioned Donna. She had terminal cancer and met some random bloke. Next thing they were getting married as they wanted to tie the knot before she passed away. They had known each other about 3 weeks.

I liked reading The Grumps food reviews, they always made me feel hungry. The item with the best review always had "STASH IT" printed next to it. The back pages had Sally Sensible and Betty Barmy on them were readers would send in their silly stories to top tips or things their kids/grandkids had said.

Yes! Except they were always really asinine stories of things kids always say like ‘Grandma, I hope I can go on a trampoline when I’m ninety five years old like you!’ Out of the mouths of babes! Deborah, 48, Herts

Does anyone remember the Elvis impersonator who used to gig everywhere. He cheated on his wife with his adoring groupies.

She talked about their love life along the lines of "our sex life sizzled". She helped make his sequined tasseled outfits. I remember she said "I lovingly hand stitched all his sequins". Then she found out he was a love rat and that was the end of that.

I nearly bought one of these today but it was the newsagent near my dcs school and I was worried I'd be judged by other mums

Does anyone remember a comedy called The Smoking Room? In one episode a character is reading one of these and the headline is “Doctors told me: your baby or your legs”. She flicks through to the article, looks at the picture of the baby and says ‘Eurrgh... should’ve kept your legs’

Yes! Except they were always really asinine stories of things kids always say like ‘Grandma, I hope I can go on a trampoline when I’m ninety five years old like you!’ Out of the mouths of babes! Deborah, 48, Herts

Ok yes I'm indulging.

Thought you would all appreciate this though 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

@picklecustard

Has anyone mentioned the woman who let her husband name their daughter Lanesra then realised its arsenal backwards

Sounds a bit Premiership Dennis Wheatley, doesn’t it? A sort of footballing Demon Child.

@cricketmum84

Ok yes I'm indulging.

Thought you would all appreciate this though 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

I giggled at that then saw the letter writer’s name and laughed even more. Andromeda??

I am 100% going to by TAB, love it and chat tomorrow! Also, the tips are immense! No fascinator for that fancy wedding? No problem use a shower puff on a headband for a classy look!

I got £50 for a Top Tip once. It involved a toddler and some pipe insulation.

@ReallySpicyCurry

I quit my job as a bingo teller so Dave worked all hours, providing for me and our triplets, LelliKelli, 4, and Rekjavik, 2.5. So I wasn't suspicious when he said he had to work that Saturday.

"I'll get that carpet slotted right in, good and hard" he said "Keep some of that takeaway for me, eh love"

I suspected nothing as I plated up his chicken balls and texted my best friend Val, 59, inviting her round for some cheeky fizz and a giggle. But Val didn't reply. That wasn't like her, I wondered

I need to know what happened next!!!