To bin the old-fashioned racist doll? *title tweaked by MNHQ*

[MrsBonnie]

Please excuse the offensive term.

My daughter was gifted a very old doll from my husband’s great aunt. Said aunt is in her 80s now and said that the doll held special memories and she wanted DD to have it.

I don’t want to have the doll in the house, but don’t want to offend the aunt by saying we don’t want it. She does come round from time to time, so there’s a risk she’d enquire after it if she was round. WWYD?

I think keep it in a box until she dies then send to a museum

If you don’t want to keep it send it now and tell her “it’s too old to play with so it’s packed away”

@slipperywhensparticus

Keep it safe and when she has died rehome it to a museum or somewhere that might be interested

Personally I couldn't throw away someones cherished memories while they were still living it clearly means a lot to her

^ This.

I still have my Mum's gollys from when she was a child. I obviously don't have them on display but I can't get rid of something that she loved when she was a child.

I would do what other posters have said OP, put it away and say it's too old to be played with if you're asked.

My children were gifted one once,
a neighbour was moving and sorting through her children’s old toys . It was huge but not particularly old . I did put it in the bin and explained to my children why I was doing it . Someone suggested I donate it to a charity shop but I didn’t want anyone to have it tbh .
You’re in a trickier position in that it has sentimental value for a family member . Can you politely decline the doll or return it ? Perhaps it could be passed onto a museum?

I'd pack it away somewhere. I'd struggle to throw away a vintage toy tbh.

When I was moving house and everything came out of the loft I realised I had my childhood racist doll. We had no idea in the 50s that it was racist, it was just a doll.

Now I wouldnt dream of getting one , but I was very fond of them as a child , I would keep it in the loft or tell her reasons why you don't want it . it's unfair to bin it at the moment wait until a more suitable time .

Sorry, posted too soon. I put it in the bin straightaway. I still have my other childhood sentimental items but that can't be kept. I didn't want my grandchildren to see it either.

@Fluffybutter

I’d keep it in the loft . I think it’s a shame to bin it . Yes they’re offensive now but I remember my mum having some that she had collected from Robinsons Jam innocently enough . It’s history and throwing it away won’t change anything.

They're not offensive now. They were always offensive. It's just that lots of people didn't realise.

Bin it.

I’d put it in the attic. If you are really concerned, put a note with it explaining why you put it in the attic and that someone else is cleaning out the items because you are no longer around, the doll should be destroyed.

At most you will have to store the doll for 20 years and then can let it go without upsetting your aunt.

I would get rid of it. I couldn't have it in my house.

There has never been a time when these dolls were fine, lovely, inoffensive. They have always been racist caricatures. If people were unaware of that in decades past, that is down to their ignorance.

Surely she doesn't expect your DD to actually play with a doll that has to be nearly 80 years old?

Just stick it in the loft or in the bin. The choice is yours, no-one here can make it for you.

Please don’t bin something that is of sentimental value to the aunt. If you don’t want it in the house return it to her & explain why you can’t accept it.

I don't think you will be able to convince an 80 year old lady without causing upset.

Why not? People of 80 are able to converse and understand just the same as any other adult age group.

Maybe I'm ignorant and NOT wanting to cause a bun fight - but my Nan had Golliwogs in her house that she'd collected from a tea company or something - why are they offensive?

Isn't it like saying Barbie is the caricature of a blonde woman, or a pochahontis doll is offensive to native Americans?

Please don't condemn my understanding as I'm struggling to relate my lovely Nanna's dolls to some sort of racism that makes people walk out of shops

Is there really a museum that takes these racist dolls in great numbers?

When I was a child my nan knitted dolls for me and my siblings.
My brother received a golliwog doll.
We had no idea it was a supposed representation of a black person.
We were chiuldren and no adult said anything.
We did see black people as I lived London.

We thought it was another type of creature as we also had fairies and blieved in Pixies and mermaids.
We were that age of innocence.

I say this because to a child this is not a racist representation. It is probably not one to your Great Aunt.
I think the time is over now but I also remember saving tokens for golliwog badges without any idea this was a racist thing. or meant to be a black person.

If it was me I would put it in a collectors box and keep it until you can safely "lose" it without giving offence to the Aunt who may be innocent.

I would not want in my house anymore.

Mumsnet never fails to amaze! People in 2020 referring to red Indians and not knowing that golliwogs are (and always have been) offensive.

Does your aunt REALLY have no inkling that the doll is problematic? I find that hard to believe. She didn’t mention anything about it being controversial when she gifted it?

Saying that, my parents had one that they took hiking all over the U.K. in a backpack before they had kids. There was so much affection for him and we loved the stories and photos as kids. They’re not still together and when they’re gone, if I find him when I’m clearing the house, I’m definitely keeping him.

@DolphinsAndNemesis

I would get rid of it. I couldn't have it in my house.

There has never been a time when these dolls were fine, lovely, inoffensive. They have always been racist caricatures. If people were unaware of that in decades past, that is down to their ignorance.

Is that correct though? They were on jam jars for years so there must have been a time when they were ‘acceptable’

@StylishMummy

Maybe I'm ignorant and NOT wanting to cause a bun fight - but my Nan had Golliwogs in her house that she'd collected from a tea company or something - why are they offensive?

Isn't it like saying Barbie is the caricature of a blonde woman, or a pochahontis doll is offensive to native Americans?

Please don't condemn my understanding as I'm struggling to relate my lovely Nanna's dolls to some sort of racism that makes people walk out of shops

Honestly, you may as well just Google it if you haven't heard by now why they're extremely offensive.

You sound like this is news to you

@StylishMummy

Maybe I'm ignorant and NOT wanting to cause a bun fight - but my Nan had Golliwogs in her house that she'd collected from a tea company or something - why are they offensive?

Isn't it like saying Barbie is the caricature of a blonde woman, or a pochahontis doll is offensive to native Americans?

Please don't condemn my understanding as I'm struggling to relate my lovely Nanna's dolls to some sort of racism that makes people walk out of shops

Robertsons Jam. I have a set. Collected by my late mother in the 1960.

I had a Robertson's jam set. Clearly it was acceptable once.

You cannot accept a gift with sentimental value and then bin it, that's horrible. It's an elderly lady's childhood toy FFS!

If you don't want it in your house you should have not accepted it, or give it back. If you don't want an awkward conversation you had better hide it as pp have suggested.

Is that correct though? They were on jam jars for years so there must have been a time when they were ‘acceptable’

They were "acceptable" because outright racism was acceptable to many people. At no time in history were these vile dolls anything other than racist.