DH suddenly getting cold sores?

[Rachelscloset]

I might be panicking.

I’ve been with DH 6 years and he’s never had a cold sore. Since lockdown he’s been getting spots near his lips, they did look like spots, more pus-like etc. However he has now developed a spot that looks a bit too much like a cold sore. It’s very read with no head and we can’t tell what it is yet but we will find out.

I’m really anxious as I thought that oral herpes has to be caught from someone - does this mean he’s kissed someone else?

My DMum got them from trying a lipstick in Boots when she was young.... Not saying your DH has been wearing lippy! But he may have used a glass/cup at work ages ago that hadn't been washed properly - the cold sore has decided that now is the time to come out.

BathtubGin
I always get them on holiday- I think it is because I relax
Are they generally sun holidays?
Both my dad and I will get one without fail,either on holidays or as soon as we get back. Apparently the sun can bring them out.

My ex has always had them, we were together for 4 years and I never had a single one but suddenly got 3 in the space of 4 months after we broke up (stress related) so they can lie dormant for years, I wouldn’t worry too much about it :)

Mask wearing more than likely

I’ve read threads about GH before and always say the same thing, herpes can lie dormant for many years before you have an active sore. Most people in the world have herpes in some form, some people just never have a sore. So no, he probably hasn’t snogged anyone else.

I've had loads of spots round my nose since I started wearing a mask.

Is the spot tingling? I get cold sores but haven't had one in years.

I've got one at the moment and the last one I had was 3 years ago when DM died. I'm also getting a lot of spots from wearing a mask even though wear it as little as possible. This is definitely a cold sore though

Sorry to disappear.

DH has lied in the past and made me uneasy. Not cheated that I know of but my understanding was that it’s most likely caused by kissing. I am obviously wrong.

The story is as follows: DH gets a spot or two round his lips (never on) on the bits his beard/moustache is. He would use lots of spot stuff and they’d go. Then I read something about cold sores on here and it made me paranoid. I have severe anxiety yes.

He is adamant it’s a spot. He kept saying he could feel a spot coming on, like a throbbing. I didn’t think too much of this as I get it on spots sometimes when they’re beneath the surface. Then he had a red spot, then he put toothpaste on it as he had nothing else. Today it looks bigger. I think it looks weepy and I am sure I can see little blister clusters. He feels no pain other than that of a normal spot. He can touch it.

Background: DH bites his fingers, they’re always by his mouth. He also only eats chicken nuggets and chips (literally) with some chocolate. He is perfectly healthy, never gets a cold, and hasn’t complained of feeling unwell.

We are on holiday. Will the obvious way to tell be if it scabs over?

@Rachelscloset you can get them from unclean or not cleaned properly glasses, cups, cutlery, towels..... couod have caught it before lockdown anywhere, pub pint, restaurant, etc.

So it’s possible this whole time he’s had the virus and not had any symptom until today?

Also it’s possible he caught it before me without knowing and then got an outbreak this week?

He probably hasn’t cheated. However I think I would dump any man whose diet consisted solely of chicken nuggets.

I think your anxiety is perhaps skewing your view of things. From the replies you have had you can see that a cold sore appearing is NOT evidence of kissing another woman/cheating and although you have said you understand this you don't really seem to have taken it on board..
If you have other reasons to distrust him that is a different issue altogether, and a different conversation that you need to have with him

@Rachelscloset

So it’s possible this whole time he’s had the virus and not had any symptom until today?

Also it’s possible he caught it before me without knowing and then got an outbreak this week?

Yes

@Rachelscloset

So it’s possible this whole time he’s had the virus and not had any symptom until today?

Also it’s possible he caught it before me without knowing and then got an outbreak this week?

Yes.

And yes - like 30 years beforehand.

So it’s possible this whole time he’s had the virus and not had any symptom until today?

Absolutely possible.

Other possibilities include:

coming out in spots from wearing a mask

coming out in spots from some other virus transmitted through the air (I once had one that behaved like chicken pox but wasn't the pox)

dermatitis- infection from a scratch

stress spots

spots brought on by poor diet

@CheetasOnFajitas lol - also doesn’t gain weight but gains muscle easily. So annoying

Whether it's a coldsore or not it's irrelevant.

The real question is why, when you suspected one was to panic and think he's cheating? Has he given you any reasons to doubt him or his faithfulness?

• Shared eating utensils, razors and towels might also spread HSV-1. Cold sores are most contagious when you have oozing blisters because the virus easily spreads through contact with infected body fluids. But you can spread the virus even if you don't have blisters. Many people who are infected with the virus that causes cold sores never develop signs and symptoms. Once you've had an episode of herpes infection, the virus lies dormant in nerve cells in your skin and may emerge as another cold sore at the same place as before.*

Sharing lip balms is a common way amongst children.

Just to add to the other posters, I get them extremely infrequently and generally when I'm stressed, most often though is when I have spots close to my mouth, they develop into a coldsore, especially if I pick at them 🤦‍♀️

I wish. Sure it works for some people but never has for me. The minute those blisters appear I know I am in for at least a week of not being able to smile without my mouth bleeding when the scab cracks. Delightful.

@CheetasOnFajitas Have you tried the patches?

I don't find they make my cold sores last any less time, but the fact that they don't dry out and scab over means the pain is much, much less.

It's a bit of a nightmare when changing the patches as it always reminds me there are more hairs above my lip than I'd care to admit, but cold sores are much more bearable.

Its mask face.

I have it.

Its gross.

I often get them when I’m really run down, tired and stressed. I’ve just got rid of one.

@Rachelscloset

So it’s possible this whole time he’s had the virus and not had any symptom until today?

Also it’s possible he caught it before me without knowing and then got an outbreak this week?

Absolutely.

He also may have had one as a child and not remember. When I had what I thought was my first when I was 19 it had me doubting my then boyfriend until my Nana told me I'd had a massive cold sore when I was 3 and then never again. They were convinced I caught it off dirty cutlery or a glass in a cafe.

I had one at 19, then nothing at all until I was 35.

This year since lockdown I've had them almost constantly, to the point I was given a 6 month course of Acyclovir tablets to get it under control.

No one can confirm whether it's a spot, or oral herpes simplex, or something else. You would have to get it it swabbed to be certain. Only approx 20% of carriers of either hsv1 or hsv2 in any location on the body have classic 'cold sore' symptoms (most are asymptomatic), so its often difficult to diagnose from just sight. Blood tests aren't particularly reliable. A 2015 study showed that 33% of negative type 1 results were wrong (some people don't produce antibodies/enough antibodies to be detected). As lots of other people have said, if he is a carrier he could have had it from childhood.

I had terrible cold sores when I was 8 (I remember as I had the apex of the breakout on school photo day).

I’ve had them about 3 times since. None in the last 10 years. I’m 42.