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Original poster

DH suddenly getting cold sores?

142 replies

Rachelscloset · 27/10/2020 10:00

I might be panicking.

I’ve been with DH 6 years and he’s never had a cold sore. Since lockdown he’s been getting spots near his lips, they did look like spots, more pus-like etc. However he has now developed a spot that looks a bit too much like a cold sore. It’s very read with no head and we can’t tell what it is yet but we will find out.

I’m really anxious as I thought that oral herpes has to be caught from someone - does this mean he’s kissed someone else?

OP posts:
Dahlietta · 27/10/2020 10:41

I have never had a cold sore that could be mistaken for a spot! It doesn’t really sound like one to me.

CounsellorTroi · 27/10/2020 10:41

I got a cold sore just after joining a gym. Never had one before in my life.

cretelover · 27/10/2020 10:42

I'd say if you/he are not sure whether it's a spot or a cold sore...it's a spot. Cold sores are massively sore, and often have a tingling, creeping sensation inside. They are disproportionately sore to how they look.

Inastatus · 27/10/2020 10:43

As others have said, it could be due to wearing masks.

PinkiOcelot · 27/10/2020 10:46

Could it be due to him wearing a mask?
I’m on a COVID group on FB and some people have been getting awful skin outbreaks due to wearing a mask.

greeneyedlulu · 27/10/2020 10:46

Cold sores are sign of being stressed and run down and you jump to the conclusion that he's cheating rather than checking if he's actually ok. After 6 years together doesnt he deserve to be better thought of than that by you? Or do you actually have a concern that he's cheated besides a cold sore??

Thecobwebsarewinning · 27/10/2020 10:48

I can go years without a coldsore. If one pops up tomorrow it won’t be because I’ve been unfaithful!

LittleTiger007 · 27/10/2020 10:50

@fuckfuckingcovid19

Herpes can lie dormant for years. They could be coming out now if he's tired, under stress, isn't eating well etc.
This. Please don’t jump to conclusions. It’s the time of year for colds and infections.
Peridot1 · 27/10/2020 10:50

I think lots of people are having issues with spots and cold sores due to wearing masks.

Also it could be the toothpaste you are using. Switch to an SLS free one and see if that helps.

MitziK · 27/10/2020 10:53

I had cold sores when I was around 13 and then nothing until I was about 38 when a couple came out

I know damn well I hadn't been kissed by anybody during my childhood at least from the age of 4 (don't ask, long story, I get bored of retelling it) and I know just as well that I hadn't been unfaithful or kissing somebody else when the two came up in my 30s. Those happened shortly after I had a recurrence of warts on my fingers following immune supressing medication, having had one wart on one finger when I was 11.

What I have had recently though, as has DP, are a few blackheads or spots around the lip and cheekbones since we've been wearing masks so much.

DeciduousPerennial · 27/10/2020 10:53

I feel quite sorry for your other half that when he gets some spots near his mouth you a) immediately assume they’re cold sores and b) therefore jump to “he must have been cheating”.

Those spots could be a number of things such as perioral dermatitis, eczema, atopic dermatitis, impetigo just to name a few off the top of my head, which unless they’re seen by someone medical (and even then, it’s easy to confuse skin issues for other things) you may not know for definite. Secondly - as others have said - if it does turn out to be cold sores, the virus can lie dormant for years before it comes out. Thirdly, your use of the phrase “we will find out” sounds rather ominously unpleasant, quite frankly.

Coughsyrupsucks · 27/10/2020 10:54

My very first cold sore was at 36, had never ever had one before, not even a tingle. I got a new job after being a SAHM for years, and the stress I think triggered it. I was mortified. They can obviously lay dormant until your immune system crashes from stress. It does sound from your update that’s probably a spot.

LadyFoxtrot · 27/10/2020 10:56

Cold sores are generally weepy and wet, not similar to spots.

Also I caught mine at 15, had never been kissed!

MustardMitt · 27/10/2020 10:58

Ask him to go to a pharmacist and check. They can advise what it is and appropriate care.

I think it’s probably more likely a spot or irritation from something else. One of my sons had something similar and the pharm said irritation which went away on its own, we swapped soap for some mild face wash. I was baffled as he’s 11 and had never had w cold sore before but it looked like it could be one.

Mummyoflittledragon · 27/10/2020 10:59

He may not even remember getting them it can lie dormant for that long. It doesn’t mean he’s cheated.

TeamLucille · 27/10/2020 10:59

I’m really anxious as I thought that oral herpes has to be caught from someone - does this mean he’s kissed someone else?

if you have only been with him for 6 years and he's a grown up man, yes, it's likely he has kissed someone else at some point Hmm

or shared a drink

Cold sores come and go seemingly randomly. Usually worst when you are run down. It has nothing do with being unfaithful or even kissing whatsoever.

noblegreenk · 27/10/2020 11:00

Unless you have very good reason not to trust him then I wouldn't worry about it. I've only had a couple of cold sores and they were years ago. I've been with my husband for over 7 years and I've not had any during this time. I'd be really pissed off if one flared up and my husband accused me of cheating.

TeamLucille · 27/10/2020 11:00

to add, cold sores are VERY contagious
and the virus can be lethal for babies. Adults insisting on kissing babies and young children should remember that.

picklecustard · 27/10/2020 11:00

If it is a cold sore then completely possible scenarios are:

A) He’s got them from you. Two thirds of adults carry the virus and many never actually get a sore or are even aware that they have the virus. How do you know that you don’t carry the virus and just don’t suffer from the sores?

B) He’s had the virus for a long time but is only getting noticeable symptoms now. I had the odd cold sore in really early childhood (easily at the point where I wouldn’t remember) then nothing until my teens when I had a period of getting them regularly. I’m now in my 20s and never have them.

Basically it’s absolutely no indication whatsoever that he has cheated.

Mytimetokillandmaim · 27/10/2020 11:00

Well cold sores are painful op. Especially before they scab over. It starts with a blister . Then that oozes..then it hardens over ...like a crust (sorry🤢) and dont worry about cheating atvrhus stage op . Most people carry the virus and it lays dormant. I sadly get coldsores 2-3 times a year. If I have a cold.. I'll get one...or if I've been in the sun I'll get one. Or a pimple on my lip line accidentally scratched..will bring one up. Nasty little things.

TurquoiseDragon · 27/10/2020 11:01

I recall working in a lab many years ago, where we used pipettes of the old glass kind, where you sucked up the liquid like a straw. I had to use separate ones from my colleague next to me (standard hygiene), which was great as she had coldsores. There would have been no kissing involved, but the virus would have been present on the pipettes.

DS got infected as a small child, not certain where from, but an aunt did have cold sores herself.

UpperLowercaseSymbolNumber · 27/10/2020 11:01

I would suspect it is just mask induced spots. I’ve been getting spots under where the masks go and I don’t even have to wear them that much.

tempnamechange98765 · 27/10/2020 11:01

No reason to worry at all on this alone - I have had cold sores in the past and like pp said there tends to be a trigger, stress/illness/weather changes. I didn't have any for years and years then from about mid twenties I had one what felt like every year, and then they died down again. I've had one or two in the last few years.

L-lysine supplement helps, if he was to take it daily.

MadameBlobby · 27/10/2020 11:02

The virus can lie dormant for years.

I hardly ever get cold sores usually, maybe one small one every 12/18 months but since we have had to wear masks I have had 5 of them all very big and painful.

If he can nobble them before they come up Zovirax helps but if not then I find the compeed patches helpful.

CodenameVillanelle · 27/10/2020 11:02

@TheYearOfSmallThings

I haven't had a cold sore for about 10 years... until lockdown. I had a couple in April, and another one recently - basically every time the news is bad!

I certainly haven't caught them from anyone, it's just stress, diet, sleep etc. Taking L Lysine helps them disappear, and I should probably lay in plenty for this winter.

Mask washing is important with a live cold sore, and patches are useful too.

Well you did catch them from someone at some point and it's very common for the immune system to become effective at fighting the virus over time so it is effectively dormant. This isn't what the OP is describing though. He's never had one before so this is technically a first outbreak.
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