DH suddenly getting cold sores?

[Rachelscloset]

I might be panicking.

I’ve been with DH 6 years and he’s never had a cold sore. Since lockdown he’s been getting spots near his lips, they did look like spots, more pus-like etc. However he has now developed a spot that looks a bit too much like a cold sore. It’s very read with no head and we can’t tell what it is yet but we will find out.

I’m really anxious as I thought that oral herpes has to be caught from someone - does this mean he’s kissed someone else?

Perioral dermatitis?

Also a cold sore can look like a normal spot in my experience. I know typically they can be sore/weepy and tingly but there is such a range of how people experience them.

OP you may be an asymptomatic carrier and had a viral shed which passed it to him. Or he may have been an asymptomatic carrier until this week. Or it may be covid mask spots. Or he may have kissed someone. Which do you think is most likely?

the cold sore virus is often picked up as a child.

cold sores usually present when a person is run down, stressed, poor diet, low vit B12 etc

they can not emerge till adulthood or have decades of gaps

they are very painful and look awful can take ages to go

misinformation about it being 'herpes / from kissing' doesn't help

@picklecustard

Also a cold sore can look like a normal spot in my experience. I know typically they can be sore/weepy and tingly but there is such a range of how people experience them.

Yep I get them (confirmed by swab) and they aren't big weepy things at all.

Herpes are painful when they start to appear as a raised red spot, the skin around will be red too. Then it will scab over. If you knock the scab it will hurt like the devil and ooze pus. Then it will scab over again. Once it’s started healing it will itch and itch but knocking that scab off will only delay healing.

Once it’s all heal, herpes then hides in your nerve endings until you get rundown and then it’s party time again.

When I say painful, “tingly” is the better descriptor.

Still on the topic of herpes and coldsores.....I got one on my thumb once!! My fucking thumb!! It's called a herpetic whitlow 😭 I never knew it was a thing.

I remember telling the doctor my thumb was excruciatingly sore I couldn't use my hand...I said it felt like a cold sore. Doctor laughed and said it was just a bacterial infection and to keep soaking my thumb in a bowl of anti-bac stuff. Few days later blisters burst and it scabbed over ,went back to dr and he said oh you were right it was herpes. You should have been keeping that dry itll last longer how !!!🙄

Well you did catch them from someone at some point and it's very common for the immune system to become effective at fighting the virus over time so it is effectively dormant. This isn't what the OP is describing though. He's never had one before so this is technically a first outbreak.

Sorry yes, I meant that I haven't caught them recently - clearly I caught them at some point in the past. But the OP's husband may have had them years ago without recognising them (especially as he is saying what he has now are not cold sores. And he may of course be right).

@52andblue
Cold sores ARE caused by the herpes virus though, specifically type 1 which also causes half of all cases of genital herpes.

But yes you’re completely correct that it’s commonly passed on during childhood, can lay dormant for years and is no indication of cheating.

You do have to catch them at some point. I know I get cold sores. I don't think I've had one for about twenty years. But I get them, and once you've had one they can recur at any stage of life.

I wouldn't be too quick to assume he's cheating or has cheated.

Another person saying it's maskne! I never get spots really but in the last two weeks Ive has so many around my mouth especially on the edge of my lips, red sore ones.

@DeciduousPerennial

I feel quite sorry for your other half that when he gets some spots near his mouth you a) immediately assume they’re cold sores and b) therefore jump to “he must have been cheating”.

Those spots could be a number of things such as perioral dermatitis, eczema, atopic dermatitis, impetigo just to name a few off the top of my head, which unless they’re seen by someone medical (and even then, it’s easy to confuse skin issues for other things) you may not know for definite. Secondly - as others have said - if it does turn out to be cold sores, the virus can lie dormant for years before it comes out. Thirdly, your use of the phrase “we will find out” sounds rather ominously unpleasant, quite frankly.

Agree! Unless you have any other ( genuine) reasons to suspect the poor chap this really seems a bit of a reach. I would be really hacked off if I was him

[quote picklecustard]@52andblue
Cold sores ARE caused by the herpes virus though, specifically type 1 which also causes half of all cases of genital herpes.

But yes you’re completely correct that it’s commonly passed on during childhood, can lay dormant for years and is no indication of cheating.[/quote]
Yes, it's HSV (1) or Herpes Simplex which is not sexually transmitted
commonly mistaken for HSV (2) which causes genital herpes which is usually sexually transmitted.

But the differentation is not well understood, in the playground or on MN
(not by you, but in general)

Double check that his mask hygiene is up to scratch, a moist fabric panel shoved in a dark pocket is a perfect breeding ground.

If It's herpes virus then the spots are not really spots they are blisters. They are sores on the face in the area around the mucus membranes or soft tissues. So usually on the lip. They are little blisters that will form together and sometimes merge creating larger blisters that pop and weep. The most telling sign is the incessant tingling just before the appear.

Google the pictures. From your description it sounds like spots especially if they have a head. Mask spots are becoming a thing with the warm moist air circulating around this area.

Could it be from wearing masks? The skin around my mouth and lower face is terrible at the moment because if wearing one!

HSV1 can be sexually transmitted, it's very common to get it on the genitals usually from oral sex

If it's a cold sore, Zovirax/Acyclovir will stop it if caught early.

If it is a cold sore the pain is probably not localised to the spot- when I get them on my lips I feel it all the way up the side of my head. They take much longer to heal than spots. They are a bit random as to who will suffer and who will not- my Dad suffered from them so I would have got them from him, but my Mum and brother never got one and not has my husband. I get 2 or 3 a year.

@Georgyporky

If it's a cold sore, Zovirax/Acyclovir will stop it if caught early.

I wish. Sure it works for some people but never has for me. The minute those blisters appear I know I am in for at least a week of not being able to smile without my mouth bleeding when the scab cracks. Delightful.

It is probably his body's reaction to feeling run down.

A cold sore is different from a spot, you feel the itch/tingle.

The hs1 can lie dormant. As well as that he could have picked it up on a cup or utensils in a restaurant that hasn't been properly washed, it's very easy to get which is why so many people get them. I wouldn't worry unless you have another reason to believe he's been unfaithful.

If he has red bumps around his mouth and/or cracks at the corners of his lips it could be a fungal/yeast infection caused by wearing a mask. I got one on my cheeks and the pharmacist here said they are quite common. As another poster said, ask a pharmacist to take a look if you’re worried.