Are you coping?

[Hellin301]

There are very few threads indicating that people are still struggling mentally with the Covid situation.

Does this mean people are coping better now or are you still struggling day to day?

The whole thing is just horrible, if you're saying you're unaffected at all then I think maybe you lack compassion for the wider world tbh.

That's not really fair or realistic. People have always had to compartmentalise a bit to deal with adversity: throughout history there are examples of people who have coped more or less unscathed by living through truly horrific experiences.

The human brain is to some extent designed to allow people to shut down very difficult things to allow people to carry on as best they can. It's totally human to recognise sadness on a world scale while being able to get on with your own life to some extent.

Some people are able to do this to a much greater degree than others and obviously some people are far more fortunate in their health, their financial security etc. If you are experiencing COVID in a relatively benign way you may well be able to understand how difficult and tragic it is on a world scale but without feeling personally that you are suffering greatly. That doesn't make you unkind or lacking in compassion, it just means you're not experiencing it as a personal grief.

I am coping, but having stopped for half term has made me realise how exhausted and stressed I was at work (teaching assistant). All I want to do is sleep at the moment. The extra duties/cleaning/keeping bubbles separate is hard going. But other than that I am ok.

Ok, sorry, I accept that I worded that badly re not having compassion for the wider world. I soak up global stuff far too readily and it would probably do me good to try and compartmentalize it more. Didn't mean to sound judgemental, not one anyone needs right now.

I soak up global stuff far too readily and it would probably do me good to try and compartmentalize it more. Didn't mean to sound judgemental, not one anyone needs right now.

I don't think it's a choice really- some people's state of mind is more easily rocked by external events than others'. I guess people can try avoiding media etc, but it must be difficult.

@Whatyoucanandcantdo

Ok, sorry, I accept that I worded that badly re not having compassion for the wider world. I soak up global stuff far too readily and it would probably do me good to try and compartmentalize it more. Didn't mean to sound judgemental, not one anyone needs right now.

It's really not necessary to read the news every day and to know about all the awful things going on - please don't feel like you have to pay attention to everything going in the world

At the start, I watched all the news bulletins, listened to the daily briefings and it was awful for my ,mental health. I felt anxious, tearful, upset - I found myself looking at the news constantly to see if there were any developments. Now, I just...don't. I don't need a daily breakdown of what's happening in France, or Italy, or America. Anything majorly important comes through on breaking news bulletins - I now just ignore the rest.

My mental health is SO much better since I took this approach. Of course what's happening in other countries is bad, but me knowing about it all the minute it happens doesn't achieve anything. It doesn't make my life better or richer. It doesn't stop the bad things happening, either.

Life is too short to let every little thing get to you.

I'm coping day to day, and am in a fortunate position in that both DH and I have worked throughout, but still feel very flat most of the time. Really just can't be bothered with anything. I've piled over a stone on, my eating and drinking is pretty bad, although I'm back to not drinking on work nights, but generally just feel fed up most of the time. And an do demotivated at work. Like I said above, I know that we have had it much better than many people, but still feel very flat.

vanillandhoney

"It's really not necessary to read the news every day and to know about all the awful things going on - please don't feel like you have to pay attention to everything going in the world."

It is for me... I have to for my job. In a funny way I find having to read about it all the time actually desensitises me to it.

Also I think the recommendation which you increasingly see for people to cut out media and social media, while clearly well meant, are not that sensible long term. Number one, cutting everything out its going to make those big shocking stories seem scarier than they were if you haven't read any of the run-up to them.

I also think having as good an understanding of the science as you can is helpful at the moment because the government's guidance is so poor. I trust my own judgement based on wide reading of clinical literature and the input from SAGE far more than I do the latest dictats of the government.

Generally speaking I think discouraging people from reading and digesting a range of news sources is a bad idea, particularly now when we need to be as well informed as we possibly can.

So while I'd urge anyone having a really low day to switch it off I don't think large swathes of the population disengaging from news about the virus is great advice.

@vanillaandhoney, I'm sure you're right, but I need to watch the UK news for my job. (I'm trying to avoid the US news but it's still seeping in.)

@ethelredonagoodday

I'm coping day to day, and am in a fortunate position in that both DH and I have worked throughout, but still feel very flat most of the time. Really just can't be bothered with anything. I've piled over a stone on, my eating and drinking is pretty bad, although I'm back to not drinking on work nights, but generally just feel fed up most of the time. And an do demotivated at work. Like I said above, I know that we have had it much better than many people, but still feel very flat.

*am so demotivated

I'm coping. But I'm working full time, in a school, and life is pretty normal. I work the same number of ridiculous hours, cook and clean and fall into bed. I never had much time for a social life anyway so I don't miss it. I don't particularly want to wander round the shops anymore - it's little fun.

I don't particularly miss family, if I'm honest. They don't live round us and so I still phone and speak to them as normal. Haven't seen parents since New Year - I would normally have seen them in the summer or this half term and we can't travel. They are ok though. Life has petty irritations, but nothing so awful I feel I can't cope with it.

Of course had my moments but this time with DP is precious. We have really enjoyed it. I say that even as someone who got made redundant unexpectedly. We have loved being in our bubble as a family although we do miss our friends and social events. We used to be out all the time but we have seen how well suited we are as have spent every day together since late Feb and not argued once. Despite whats going on, we realise how lucky we are to have each other.

bloodywhitecat I’m thinking of you today. I’ve stood in your shoes with a loved ones cancer diagnosis, I know it wasn’t my partner so not exactly the same (my dad) but I know the punch in the stomach bad news brings......💐

Generally speaking I think discouraging people from reading and digesting a range of news sources is a bad idea, particularly now when we need to be as well informed as we possibly can.

But you can read the news without letting it destroy your mental health. It's not healthy for people to be so consumed by world news that they feel flat, depressed and upset all the time. By all means read a variety of sources but do so with the intent that it won't take over your day.

So while I'd urge anyone having a really low day to switch it off I don't think large swathes of the population disengaging from news about the virus is great advice.

I never suggested people do that, though. I just said that reading every article and waiting for every update isn't necessary for the vast majority of people. The fact that you have to read the news for your job is irrelevant to people who don't need to do that.

Personally I think it's okay to be selfish and to switch off. Joe Bloggs in Warrington stressing themselves silly over the state of the virus in Colorado is of no help to anyone.

I think I am. I’m very lucky in that my job seems to be secure, I have a house with plenty of space, and I’m now seeing my kids as normal (they were shielding but not since June).

I generally like WFH but I’m getting a bit flat and less motivated. I’m missing the office dynamic and feeling the routine every day is getting samey.

There’s an underlying level of worry over my kids (preexisting condition), my parents (70+), my GF (don’t live together and her MH is a bit less robust), but I think that’s just background.

I’m lucky, and I feel for those who are struggling

On the subject of news, I benefit from feeling informed and connected, so I found keeping up with developments to be helpful.

It's not just the news though that's affecting my life
It's how it's all affected every day life
Eg working from home
All the usual things we'd go to aren't on
This all makes it harder for me to deal with my daughter when I'm on my own as she's not easy
And so on and so on

"Coping" yes, but bored and frustrated. Still in a tier 1 area, but have got no motivation to go out and "do" anything. I was furloughed from March to September, and money was tight. Work is normal now, and I'm earning good amounts, but I think I still carry a bit of a "mustn't spend" mentality.
Plus a load of "housey things" have popped up all at once, which is making me feel a bit overwhelmed.

I don't know. I wake and look forward to night fall so I can go back to bed.
I want to sleep all the time.
I think I'm depressed but medicated my actions make me think I am.

I’m struggling with anxiety since DH returned to work and DC returned to school in September. None of us are medically vulnerable and DH and I are young but I still feel seriously anxious about getting it and one of us being seriously ill or worse.

I had health anxiety years ago which I thought I’d long since overcome with lots of counselling but it’s reared it’s ugly head since March. If it were up to me we’d all still be at home safe but it isn’t and we need to live.

@Laiste

- The darker days,

• The wet and cold,
• Halloween buggered up (even if you don't particularly like it, like me, it's another bit of 'normal' which youngest DC(6yo) isn't having)
• and the worry that xmas is going to be all weird when it gets here.

These things have made me take quite the downward turn since a few weeks ago.

I am the most laid back and optimistic person you could meet usually. I'm finding i'm getting very short tempered when out and about. People dithering. And then people who seem paranoid and OTT. And then the people who don't seem to care. They ALL annoy me equally at the moment! :(

Oh, gosh, yes, this is me too.

I am usually really good at managing stress, I am on an even keel and optimistic most of the time.

I am finding nights worst, like a lot of people are mentioning, I start to feel panicked. I am coping by staying up doing stupid things like watch tv until I am about ready to drop. So I am useless in the day as well.

Not really, no, but I don't have any choice. I have three dc. I have a DH who is pretending all is well. I am currently the sole earner in the house. I have parents who have, despite not being on shielding lists, shut themselves away since last February and are still in a 'bleach all the shopping and have no human contact' stage. I have a SIL due to give birth over Xmas who will need me to be able to look after her other dc. Work is hard. I feel utterly overwhelmed and exhausted and cannot seem to pull myself together, probably because there is no one I can just vent to: my mum would go into anxiety hyperdrive and my dad be furious with me for upsetting her, my husband is sticking to his 'everything is fiiiiiiiiiine you need to stop worrying' bullshit approach and will not hear me, I cannot risk work thinking I am useless, my brother and sil have enough on their plates, my friends have their own worries and challenges. I am so tired.

Coping very well but mainly because my life was small before so very little change.

I have had to shield.

What does stress me is stuff like health appointments (dentist and so on which I have a thread on).

Money might be more of an issue next year - I am freelance.

�for those of you who are used to more of a life and are suffering. I used to have a much bigger life and bitterly missed it. Things changed for me 20 years ago and I am now fine with my tiny life though I do remember how painful the transition was. The COVID will be temporary - just hold onto that hope!

@EmeraldShamrock that does sound like depression - that's how I felt last year when I had PND. Is your last sentence saying you are on medication?

Its definitely possible to keep abreast of the facts and general developments in the news without allowing media consumption to become a problem for your mental health. I do like to stay informed but too much can be detrimental.

@SuperCaliFragalistic

Its definitely possible to keep abreast of the facts and general developments in the news without allowing media consumption to become a problem for your mental health. I do like to stay informed but too much can be detrimental.

Same. There comes a point where enough is enough.