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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Are you coping?

160 replies

Hellin301 · 26/10/2020 19:33

There are very few threads indicating that people are still struggling mentally with the Covid situation.

Does this mean people are coping better now or are you still struggling day to day?

OP posts:
bloodywhitecat · 26/10/2020 20:35

No, I am really not. The virus delayed DP's cancer diagnosis and the whole thing has been a battle to be heard from start to finish. Today he has surgery to remove part of his pancreas, his bile ducts, gall bladder and duodenum only to be told they found a nodule in his liver. If this is cancer too he will die sooner than we'd hoped as according to the surgeon it would be "very, very bad news". We've heard no good news since this all started so I am pretty sure bad news is on the cards again so tonight am I coping? No. No I am not.

savagebaggagemaster · 26/10/2020 20:37

Was ok during first lockdown
Now, not doing so well
Kids struggling now as well

gingganggooleywotsit · 26/10/2020 20:38

feeling very down and despondent..think I have just reached saturation point with the whole thing. It feels worse now with the weather being bad.

Ignoringequally · 26/10/2020 20:39

[quote Kittenbittenmitten]@Ignoringequally. Those people need to fuck off, it's shit to try to invalidate someone's feelings. What's your situation like? Flowers[/quote]
Thank you.
Situation isn’t as awful as some but it has been a string of bad things after another... close relative diagnosed with cancer at the start of lockdown and treatment delay has meant it’s now terminal, for example.

Ignoringequally · 26/10/2020 20:40

@bloodywhitecat

No, I am really not. The virus delayed DP's cancer diagnosis and the whole thing has been a battle to be heard from start to finish. Today he has surgery to remove part of his pancreas, his bile ducts, gall bladder and duodenum only to be told they found a nodule in his liver. If this is cancer too he will die sooner than we'd hoped as according to the surgeon it would be "very, very bad news". We've heard no good news since this all started so I am pretty sure bad news is on the cards again so tonight am I coping? No. No I am not.
Sending Flowers for you.
TheLastStarfighter · 26/10/2020 20:47

It varies ... I was going to say day to day, but actually more hour to hour. I have a lot of coping strategies. And I am (touch wood) relatively unaffected. I feel for those who have been badly impacted.

thevassal · 26/10/2020 20:48

@Crunchymum very sorry for your loss and @bloodywhitecat will be crossing my fingers for some good news for you for once

Flowers for everyone else who is struggling too....

Laiste · 26/10/2020 20:50

I've been totally fine through it all until a couple of days ago. I feel i'm sliding into anger/upset that i don't know what to do with.

The fact that areas are going back into full lockdown - and today on the radio hearing about how some large shops in Wales are taping off areas of goods which are deemed ''non-essential''; toys, books ect. while the alcohol is still all available made me so tearful-angry i almost had to pull the car over. I mean who gets to decide what's essential for who?
Angry :(

pinkearedcow · 26/10/2020 20:51

I am in Wales and so in lockdown and my area was in semi lockdwon before that. It's only for two weeks, but I am finding it harder than March. I support what is being done, but life feels like a grind right now.

stopgap · 26/10/2020 20:51

It goes up and down. I haven’t seen my parents since February, as I live in the US, and anxiety about the election is rattling me just as much as Covid. I was in a great mood yesterday, until I happened to drive by a huge convoy of cars and trucks bearing Trump flags. I’m in a liberal part of a blue state, and it was so jarring to see here.

So yes, Covid repercussions and Trump insanity have ramped up my worry levels.

JaceLancs · 26/10/2020 20:51

I have been struggling hardest since September - mainly because I have lost hope about this ending any time soon
Tier 3 area and I don’t know how long I can carry on (very stressful job) plus carer for elderly DM, DP unemployed with severe MH issues

pinkearedcow · 26/10/2020 20:53

Laiste they couldn't ban alcohol as some people would get very ill and some would die if they were forced to suddenly stop drinking.

pinkearedcow · 26/10/2020 20:55

@thevassal

I'm the opposite - wasn't too bad in the first lockdown but am really really struggling now. Not sure if it's the weather, the constant onslaught of extra work, or just the loneliness of wfh and living alone for nearly 8 months...not helped by being in Wales and the minor things that were keeping my sanity together like being able to go to the gym and for walk outside have been reduced....
I really wish they hadn't closed the gyms. I felt safer there than at the supermarket, everyone was being so so careful.
BillywigSting · 26/10/2020 20:56

I thought I was coping but realised today I've cried a least twice a week for a few weeks now and I'm not normally a crier at all.

So no, not really I don't think. I'm muddling on though because I have no other choice.

mrshonda · 26/10/2020 20:57

Not coping at all. I lost my dad just before lockdown, had a breakdown in May, lost my job this week. And I live alone and am in Tier 3. Everything is crap.

pinkearedcow · 26/10/2020 20:58

bloodywhitecat I am so so sorry.

HazelWong · 26/10/2020 20:59

Mostly, I am ok. Nursery reopening has been incredibly important to our wellbeing as a household.

What I am starting to struggle with is not seeing the end in sight. I really thought that things would ease up by March or so next year but that is looking less and less likely

Kittenbittenmitten · 26/10/2020 20:59

@Ignoringequally. That's awful. I'm sorry to hear that. Do they have a good support network?

mrshonda · 26/10/2020 21:01

bloodywhitecat Hoping for the best for you Flowers

mollypuss1 · 26/10/2020 21:02

No, I’m not coping.

TokyoSushi · 26/10/2020 21:07

I'm ok now. Awful in the summer when the DC were off for months on end and I had to transition from an always out, to an always in person.

Quite resigned now to living a sort of half life, used to having no plans and nowhere particularly to go. I'm actually fine with it. So pleased we have school and I have lots of people to chat to/text. I almost can't remember what life was like in 'the time before.' I also don't have that awful missing out feeling as everything is long cancelled. It was a long road, but I think I've reached acceptance.

Brighterthansunflowers · 26/10/2020 21:13

I’m struggling more now tbh. I’m just so worn down with it all.

Haven’t had a hug or affectionate touch since February, while everyone else seems to be carrying on like normal. Being made redundant. And just feeling like things are only going to get worse over the next few months rather than any hope of them improving

Original poster
Hellin301 · 26/10/2020 21:15

This year I’ve lost my dp (split during covid) a family member has been diagnosed with cancer & i haven’t been able to visit them for months and now another family member is very ill and I can’t visit them in hospital.

This year has been beyond crap for me.

OP posts:
purpleme12 · 26/10/2020 21:15

Sure I'm coping but coping isn't the same as not struggling
I'm struggling
I feel very different to before all this
Everything feels different
I can't say anymore at the minute but I could say so much more

IndieTara · 26/10/2020 21:37

I'm coping but not that well. It's just me and DD at home. I haven't seen any relatives since the week before lockdown, my parents live abroad. I'm single and wfh.