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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Are you coping?

160 replies

Hellin301 · 26/10/2020 19:33

There are very few threads indicating that people are still struggling mentally with the Covid situation.

Does this mean people are coping better now or are you still struggling day to day?

OP posts:
IndieTara · 26/10/2020 21:39

Oh and made redundant also

ColourMeExhausted · 26/10/2020 21:50

So sorry @bloodywhitecat. Really hope the news is better than you're expecting.

I'm...sort of coping but maybe not as well as I think? Only thing keeping me on an even keel is the DC and their need for routine and a happy mum, and exercise. Otherwise, I'm stress eating my way through this, not sleeping too well and my relationship with DH is suffering. Like others, I was ok during lockdown...it's just been the past month that's seen me starting to struggle, probably because it just feels so utterly relentless and there is no end in sight. And so worrying - not just the virus but Brexit, the US election, climate change...it's frighteningly overwhelming at times.

But I'm one of the lucky ones, so I need to remember that. Taking it a week at a time, what else can I do?

Flowers for all of you going through tough times and all of you generally.

firstimemamma · 26/10/2020 21:57

Yes but I do get annoyed when people assume that 'normal' has returned or near enough returned for everyone. If you have a pre-schooler there is a pretty good chance that isn't true! I'm managing fine due to park visits etc but it's not the same as groups etc (for me and for ds) by any stretch.

switswoo81 · 26/10/2020 21:57

I'm in Ireland so we are practically in full lockdown again. Really struggling with a 2 and 5 yr old . Hard to find things to do within 5k. Really miss my parents and haven't seen one of my closest friends since feb as she has stage 4 cancer and I don't know when I'll see her again.

On the plus side I'm an infant teacher so I love my job but I have to wear a mask all day teaching and am am scrubbing toys every evening

DramaAlpaca · 26/10/2020 21:59

I'm coping. I'm pretty fed up, but I'm coping. I just want it all to go away now.

Happyspud · 26/10/2020 22:04

I became quite unwell in May, but this time I'm much much better. Thanks to the meds, CBT and probably most of all, a normalisation/acceptance of the situation. Having said that I didn't and don't have any extra stresses beyond fear and missing freedom/family. So that makes it a lot easier to just focus on staying steady in my head.

Friendsoftheearth · 26/10/2020 22:06

That sounds so hard bloody I am so sorry you are going through this Flowers

I struggled quite a bit through the first lockdown, but managed okay - by the skin of my teeth. It was getting to me up until last month - I was feeling angry, depressed and totally sick of everything, but since spending two weeks in hospital out of the blue and having major surgery, I actually feel a whole lot better.
Despite being very sore and not able to do anything I am feel so much happier. The wards are packed full of the suffering, the medics look exhausted and are working so hard, and whilst I was in there it gave me plenty of time (no visitors allowed) to really appreciate what I do have no matter how small. Being in my own bed, the fresh air of autumn blowing in from the window, eating real food, my dh and dc.

Now I am simply grateful to have made it through, and be back.

I am not suggesting we all go and check in for surgery, or face the fear of being in hospitals full of covid whilst being seriously ill, I realised that it is all about perspective. If anything things have got much worse for me as a person, I am still in pain and I am struggling with dc and managing to get through the day, but I am here. And that is all that counts. I will hopefully see the new year in, and things will get better at some point for all of us.

NeonBella · 26/10/2020 22:27

Not really. I think I'm depressed.

I'm a mature student studying 99% from home plus I'm a lone parent.
It's very very lonely.

I'm steadily losing all motivation and am really struggling to do anything.
My house is a complete state but I have no time. Everything feels very hard right now.
I'm even considering quitting my degree but I think that would be the end of me if I did.
Also I've felt low level ill for weeks now. Not covid ill but ill enough that I feel exhausted all the time, but I guess that could also be depression or the fact that I feel like I'm/we're barely living half a life right now.

MiddleClassMother · 26/10/2020 22:40

I feel a little depressed lately, although I don't like to admit it. My anxiety has been playing up as well, lots of things that would be solved if I could be in my office full time. I think it was actually better during lockdown as I had my DH and DC with me, plus I would go for a daily (social distanced) walk with my friend.

IrishMamaMia · 26/10/2020 23:42

I'm okay really. Similar to the other poster who mentioned nursery. I found it really difficult without and life has been on an upward trajectory since as my kids thrive there
I couldn't cope mentally during the initial March lockdown and have been on antidepressants which have been really helping with my anxiety issues. I work in a school and that has been a great escape.

TheDowagerDuchessofMwwwahaha · 27/10/2020 00:57

Finding it hard as a single Mum in all forms of lockdown, but coping I guess.

TheDowagerDuchessofMwwwahaha · 27/10/2020 00:58

Supporting the kids’ mental health as well as my own is hard I think.

Goosefoot · 27/10/2020 01:02

I seem to be worse than I was earlier, though things aren't especially bad where I am.

I think it's partly because I've moved recently, and nothing is going on in my new community. But I also have been finding it hard since they've mandated masks. I find it very difficult to have conversations as I can't hear people well. Which surprised me, actually, as I am not hard of hearing. I'm somewhat of an introvert though so I have to work at social interaction at the best of times, but I don't generally do well when I don't get out and talk to people.

Goosefoot · 27/10/2020 01:05

And actually, I think some of my coping is probably not all that robust. I had an anxiety attack in the past month, which has never happened to me before in more than 40 years, and i have felt like it might repeat a few times. No real reason for it.

Needallthesleep · 27/10/2020 02:23

I’m two weeks in to having a new baby and I’m not coping. I am so lonely and in a tier 2 area so can’t meet friends inside.

tobee · 27/10/2020 02:37

Well done for starting this thread op even if it makes for very sad reading.

I'm trying to not think about the wider implications of the virus or I find it too much. But for the last several weeks I'm stressed out by wondering if every little symptom I have is Covid. My Dh is extremely clinically vulnerable/shielded category. I'm just constantly worried about passing anything on. Even though I don't go anywhere much.

Weirdly looking forward to a day when I can have a cough or a cold and barely notice.

Chamberlai · 27/10/2020 02:49

I thought I was coping until two weeks ago when I started crying at work and couldn't stop.

Turns out I'm not coping at all Sad

HeyChubbee · 27/10/2020 03:23

I feel like I’ve become numb to it all in the last month or so, I think my brain had just shut down the constant worry since March.

BeanieB2020 · 27/10/2020 04:46

Kind of coping? I still have my "bubble" so I'm OK socially. The restrictions are wearing, though, and sometimes it can be hard to see an end. Some mornings all I want to do is sit in a busy cafe with a cup of tea and full English breakfast and just listen to the people around me. I miss that and i never even knew I valued it.

userxx · 27/10/2020 04:52

@BeanieB2020 I know what you mean, I work near a cafe with an outdoor area, I didn't realise how much I took for granted people noise, laughing, chatting, cutlery banging. I miss it.

BefuddledPerson · 27/10/2020 04:53

I'm more miserable about it suddenly.

I think recent government actions have thoroughly depressed me (FSM and cutting the laptop budget) as it feels like they've abandoned the poorest.

Also the length of time it will last - the fact there is no plan to move out of a tier, plus this talk of tier four.

My family is ok but I do feel more gloomy generally. Maybe winter is the issue?

Shxx · 27/10/2020 04:56

Yes I'm just bored

BefuddledPerson · 27/10/2020 05:00

@Shxx

Yes I'm just bored
Oh yes absolutely!

I am pretty resourceful but I miss the arts so much, it is really really pissing me off. Nothing for me can replace the theatre, and i just really miss it. I've done a truck load of craft etc but I can't replace a really great live performance Sad

garlictwist · 27/10/2020 05:02

I feel a bit glum and bored (live alone and wfh) but try and have perspective. It's not that bad. Things could be a lot worse. I make a routine for myself including morning exercise, lunch time walk and an hours reading that I make myself stick to even if I can't be arsed and that gives the illusion of purpose.

userxx · 27/10/2020 05:04

@garlictwist Glum is the right word! You sound like you've got a routine going on which is definitely needed, I'm just thankful I'm still office based.