To think buying a puppy is far more sensible for most people than rehoming a dog

[rainyoutside]

I’m a big advocate of animal welfare but AIBU to be concerned at posters who relentlessly push people considering having a dog towards rescue?

For one thing I don’t even know any rescue centres who will rehome to families with young children. But mn insist that they do.

Greyhounds are often pushed on here as an ideal first dog. They are absolutely huge. We would need a new car if we adopted a greyhound. Then it’s insisted they don’t have a strong prey drive. Er - they were bred for hare coursing. I’m sure there are some exceptions, just like there are some Labs who hate water and some stupid border collies, but it’s in the breed descriptor.

Looking on the dogs trust website, out of hundreds of dogs available for rehoming there are nine who can live with primary aged children. Add cats to that filter and there’s none. Zero.

It’s bloody heartbreaking. A MNetter linked someone yesterday to what she enthusiastically described as a brilliant rescue centre in my area so I had a look out of interest. Every single dog was reactive and had a history of biting. I can’t believe she suggested it to a woman with a 7 year old.

Rescue is one of a number of options when it comes to dog ownership and AIBU to think it’s daft and irresponsible to make people feel bad about not rescuing when there just aren’t suitable dogs available?

It saddens me to agree with you! All my friends who have rescue dogs push it on the rest of us but they got them when they didn’t have kids!! Some have kids now but they came into the equation well after the dogs had settled. There’s no way I’d get a rescue whilst I have a 2 year old! They make it really difficult to get any rescue pets tbh. Cats too.

In fairness I’ve never had issues with getting cats, but a cat that doesn’t quite fit into family life is very different to a dog.

I’ve found I very difficult to adopt

As kids, my family always adopted and wanted to do the same when the time came for us to get a dog

First time we had young children, we were on waiting lists for months and months, tried all the local small rescues as well as the big ones and in the end gave up and got a puppy

Second time, again, went the rescue route. Kids are grown up now, but this time no one will allow us to adopt as DH and I work full time. DH runs his own business in a little rural barn conversion type unit and dog would have gone to work with him every day. There’s miles and miles of walks, it was all secure so a dog would have the run of the place with constant access to an outside court yard area. We explained all this, even sent photos, still no.

We again, went for a puppy - who loves going to work with DH as she has miles and miles of off lead walks, swims in the sea and endless fuss (and biscuits) from customers every day

We don’t have a huge amount of rescues here, ones further away didn’t want adopt out over a certain distance.

And as for greyhounds not having a prey drive - my parents had several retired racers or ones that haven’t made the grade over the years - all had a prey drive.

I agree with you OP. I would love to rescue but we are always turned down because of DS or our very much loved and well cared for Labrador.

We are crazy about dogs. I work partially from home, our lab still has a dog walker every day and if I go in to teach, she goes to our amazing dog walker all day and is thoroughly spoiled, exercised, cuddled and played with. We have pet insurance and vet care plans, our lab has the best food and care we can give. We have stable jobs. We have a decent sized house, a secure garden, have a family car which is very large and can safely transport us all with space to spare. We are experienced dog owners, especially large breeds. We don’t holiday abroad because our lab is just as much a part of our family as any of us so we want to holiday all together. DS was raised with our lab so we are ultra aware of keeping him and lab happy and safe and respectful and appropriate toward each other. We live very close to a vast local woodland and we walk as a hobby, so every weekend we take ddog for an adventure.

But every rescue lists dogs as not suitable for homes with young children or other dogs. Or we get to the selection process and they say no because we sometimes have to go out to work, even though our dog is never left alone.

That’s fine, because I wouldn’t want to rehome a dog where we couldn’t give it the right home, or that wasn’t right for us. But I don’t really know how we could be more suitable?

We do donate and drop food, blanket and toy parcels to our local shelter. So we do help that way, we’re just not seen as suitable to adopt.

We are so lucky to have ddog. We don’t need another but we are a loving family and we are well aware that lots of puppies end up being given up or living an unhappy life, it would be good to help one if we were allowed. We are considering getting a puppy. But people do need to be aware how big a commitment they are. They’re essentially the same as having a baby.

I absolutely advocate rehoming to those that can. And for many, a rehomed dog is better than a puppy. Puppys take a lot of time and work to make into good dogs. I have that time and effort to put in, but I also have another dog and I would never feel comfortable bringing a dog who's history I dont fully know into the mix. So I would get a puppy if we were to get another dog.

They’re essentially the same as having a baby.

They are WORSE!

The other thing with rescue centres is that some say you can't leave the dog for more than 2 hours which excludes a lot of people, unfortunately.

@rainyoutside

But then a lot of people are insisting that in a few weeks ‘lockdown puppies’ will be coming into rescues, and it’s becoming increasingly clear that’s not the case!

I think like a lot of things COVID is being used as a bit of an excuse.

I've seen a lot of adverts for 6/7 month old puppies on Pets4Homes, wanting £2,000 for a non KC reg Labrador and I think most will try and sell first as demand is still high.

We rescued our dog from JLP trust. She was listed as child and cat friendly although we have neither. She's a kc registered Lhasa apso she came with her papers. She is a really lovely dog. She was listed as barking and growling at other dogs but with time and patience she overcame that and is happy to play with some dogs and ignore others.
I would rescue again and from JLP trust as their assessment of dogs seems accurate, home checks as routine and ongoing support if needed makes me feel confident that we would be matched with a suitable dog again. I think rather than looking at well known rescues you might be better looking at small or breed specific ones.

Rescues are usually rescues for a reason. And that reason often makes them incompatible with family life. Not the dog’s fault, but adding huge challenges to the mix (yes, i’ve had rescues - lovely dogs, but definitely not what I would get with kids in the mix). I also wouldn’t adopt from a shelter, I much prefer from private (ours were either via friends/family or the vet). Shelters tend to be not particularly honest about the animals.

People have always done that though dobbin, it’s bloody awful.

Puppys take a lot of time and work to make into good dogs.
Most rescues take a lot more time!

We need to have a proper dog registration scheme and difficult as it may be, some people in some places not be able to have a dog, or certain breeds.

No, that’s not what I meant But it is usually how it comes across, a it smug and judgemental - hurrying to say I am not saying YOU WERE!!!!

I bought via Pets4Homes, and EBT with all the KC paperwork etc. I did my homework first, obviously. I couldn't foster or rehome as we only have a courtyard garden, we both work out of home for more than 3 hours at a time, we hadn't had a bull breed before.

Our pup has just turned 2.

He comes to work with me, likes being in the car.
He doesn't do much in the garden except sunbathe - so we often have to keep him in as he burns!
He gets daily walks n all sorts of exciting places, with and wothout other dogs
He's pretty well trained, off lead and everything

Now I've put the hard work in without their help a few rescue centres are contacting me BEGGING me to foster! Can't happen as our house is too small for 2 such dogs!

rainyoutside
And the inference is that those who don’t rescue are not huge animal lovers, yes?

Well, obviously! Rescuing a dog from a life in kennels, even though it’s an awkward character, requiring sacrifices and compromises is clearly more for the love of the animal. Going for the lowest-hassle means of getting your animal entertainment is clearly for the love of oneself. We don’t doubt that you enjoy the company of animals but don’t kid yourself, your motives are purely selfish.

I do kind of get rescues not wanting to rehome to families with kids under the age of 3 (seems to be the standard with most of them). We've had our dog longer than our kids, our toddler is obsessed with him but at 15 months has a huge lack of understanding and although we try to constantly keep them apart he has been found a few times with a handful of dog hair he's pulled out. We don't allow it by any means, before anyone comes for me, and we work hard to avoid it and to teach dc that you have to be gentle with animals, but toddlers are quick and it happens. Our amazing dog has the patience of a saint but I can't wait for the toddler days to be gone so we can stop having to keep the pair of them apart constantly. So yeah, toddlers homes aren't the best place for dogs to be fair.

My problem with this is getting a dog (from whatever source) isn't, or at least shouldn't be, a case of picking one you like the look of and saying "I want that one". You have to remember that many of the of dogs in rescue centres have come from homes where they were bought as puppies by people who had no clue what they were getting into or what was involved in raising that puppy properly. If breeders were more selective about who they sold their puppies to, there may not be so many dogs in rescue centres in the first place.
Whilst I do think a lot of rescues are a bit over-restrictive when it comes to children, it's completely understandable.
I'm not saying people shouldn't buy puppies, but I do think rescue should always be considered first, and i think it's important that, whatever the source, potential owners should be prepared to wait for the right match for their family and personal circumstances to come along.

I just bought a puppy from a backyard breeder.
I wanted a mongrel, unfortunately because I rent, have children, DP has cats and I live in two homes (with dp 50% and with kids 50%) no rescue would look at me.
"Reputable breeders" are very hard to identify if you don't want a pedigree.
I have a crossbreed and so far hes been a delight, kids love him and he's pretty well behaved. I'm not an inexperienced owner at all.
It actually really annoys me that many rescues would rather keep the dogs in pens in the dog home than rehome to people like me because on paper I don't look ideal.

So when you have a dog, it shouldn’t be because of wanting a dog, it should be to do a good deed?

I’ll buy that, it works. Except that when you can’t adopt, it means you can’t have a dog.

Sure, but there’s more to having a dog than just loving animals. Obviously loving animals is a given. It’s similar to having children in so many ways. People have children to experience having a family and you do have to like kids but that doesn’t mean a willingness to adopt or foster makes you an unsuitable parent.

An unwillingness that should read - sorry

I have to be honest, I think rescues who suit families with small children are very few and far between. I would have one in a heartbeat if I didn't have small kids. My PIL gave us so many guilt trips about buying a small breed well researched puppy, instead of getting a rescue. But I was adamant that I wanted a baby in the near future and wanted a dog whose history I knew 100%. They then got a rescue themselves, couldn't find one that was good with children and actually it bites one of them at least once a week and draws blood. Going round there with a baby is nerve wracking to say the least! Especially as they'd try to say "it'll be fine" To let the dog sniff the baby etc, when actually I think you shouldn't give the dog the chance to make the mistake as it's not fair on them. I'd get a rescue when my family were older and we had more scope to manage any bad behaviours.

I know Pets4Homes has always been full of chancers with heavypocketshearts sadly needing to re-home for £££, but it used to be more like £500 than £2k.

Our puppy is a lockdown puppy as he was born early June. He's KC registered but I know on MN that counts for nothing!

Yanbu at all.

So when you have a dog, it shouldn’t be because of wanting a dog, it should be to do a good deed? Is now the time to explain the inherent selfishness of altruism?

YANBU

We got a puppy so we could choose the breed that suited us (wanted a small companion dog) and train it from puppyhood.

Friends got a unknown rescue dog from a centre.

Guess which one is more suited to its surroundings and which one barely fits in the house? Which one is shoved in an outside kennel all day and which is lord of the manor? Which one who can be walked by both adults and which one has to wait for the man to get home from a 10 hour day because it's too boisterous and big to be walked by the SAHM?

I would have no idea how to look after a large, reactive dog, so I didn't get one. Doesn't mean I should be barred from looking after all dogs.