To think buying a puppy is far more sensible for most people than rehoming a dog

[rainyoutside]

I’m a big advocate of animal welfare but AIBU to be concerned at posters who relentlessly push people considering having a dog towards rescue?

For one thing I don’t even know any rescue centres who will rehome to families with young children. But mn insist that they do.

Greyhounds are often pushed on here as an ideal first dog. They are absolutely huge. We would need a new car if we adopted a greyhound. Then it’s insisted they don’t have a strong prey drive. Er - they were bred for hare coursing. I’m sure there are some exceptions, just like there are some Labs who hate water and some stupid border collies, but it’s in the breed descriptor.

Looking on the dogs trust website, out of hundreds of dogs available for rehoming there are nine who can live with primary aged children. Add cats to that filter and there’s none. Zero.

It’s bloody heartbreaking. A MNetter linked someone yesterday to what she enthusiastically described as a brilliant rescue centre in my area so I had a look out of interest. Every single dog was reactive and had a history of biting. I can’t believe she suggested it to a woman with a 7 year old.

Rescue is one of a number of options when it comes to dog ownership and AIBU to think it’s daft and irresponsible to make people feel bad about not rescuing when there just aren’t suitable dogs available?

I’m so glad I got my puppy last summer. He’s been the thing that made lockdown bearable and kept me in some sort of routine. I tried the rescue route first and allegedly no dog ever could be left alone for three hours, or taken to work in a small, dog-friendly office next to a park, or even live in a flat overlooking a park, or be expected to cope with sometimes seeing my sister’s kids. The Dogs’ Trust was only open in working hours and Saturday mornings and is an hour’s drive away, and you couldn’t reserve a dog without seeing it, which meant all the nice dogs were adopted during the week and the only ones left at the weekend were unsuitable (poor wee things!). And I don’t even have kids, at the time was home four days out of seven, and DH has flexible working. So we got a puppy instead. Now we’re both wfh full time and both our workplaces are planning to make wfh a permanent option, and having a dog gets us out of the house.

YANBU - we desperately want a dog for ages now. Keep being told to adopt/rescue but there are none available for us as we have small children. I'm fed up of hearing about it.

Hi. It’s up to you how you get your dog.
I would always advocate the rescue route as I am a huge animal lover but it is up to you. I got my girl from staffie smiles rescue, she is cat friendly and good with children. Staffie smiles rescue will not rehome to families with children under three, but if they are over three then that’s fine. Staffies are typically very good with children, as for cats it’s down to the individual dog. Try some of your smaller more local rescues, they tend to favour foster instead of kennels so you get a better idea of how the dog is in a family environment. Good luck

Rescues need to be more open to allowing dogs to be rehomed to families. I understand not wanting to rehome dogs with very small children, but I think primary school age children can be taught a lot about boundaries and respect by having a dog. Rescues do make a rod for their own backs in that regard. However I always advocate to rescue if it's possible. Sometimes rescues do have puppies but they're snapped up pretty quickly.

It makes me sad but I agree - even without small children every single dog at my local rescue requires an experienced owner with no other pets or children, who doesn’t leave the house for prolonged periods of time. I can’t imagine there are lots of these people about!

I would always advocate the rescue route as I am a huge animal lover but it is up to you

And the inference is that those who don’t rescue are not huge animal lovers, yes?

Here is what Staffie Smiles Rescue says on their website:

• Please note:

Due to the high volume of adoption applications we are receiving at the moment, we will be prioritising applications that suit our dogs needs 1st. These include pet and child free applications with bullbreed experience.

We only re-home or dogs in Scotland.
We are not able to re-home any of our dogs to homes that have children under the age of 3 yrs.
We do not re-home our dogs to homes that have un-neutered pets unless there is a genuine medical reason for this.
Or waiting list for dogs that are cat friendly is now closed as we now have lots of homes waiting.*

Sounds totally suitable, I don’t understand why anybody couldn’t go there. Unless they have a cat, have never owned a bull breed or don’t live in Scotland.

I agree that it is difficult to rescue unless you fit a very narrow set of circumstances. I can see why most people end up getting a puppy.

I agree, OP.

The majority of rescue dogs I’ve known have had a lot of behavioural issues and in some cases the families have become ‘carers’ rather than dog owners.

Rescue dogs are probably better homed with experienced dog owners who know what they are taking on.

Dogs don’t exist just to make your life better, that’s what breeding is - allowing humans to have what they want when they want.

There are loads that give dogs to children and cat households- I work for one. I have rehomed a dog to a flat, a family with 2 kids and 2 dogs, a family with cats, a pregnant couple...just because you haven’t looked doesn’t mean they don’t exist.

Yes, it’s hard to rescue in the UK. Nothing like when I was a child and we rocked up to the dog’s home, chose one, paid the fee and came home the same day.

I understand it’s because these dogs desperately need a proper second chance. But it’s still hard.

It’s a shame because actually a puppy isn’t the best thing for most people with small kids - an adult dog whose temperament is known is usually the best thing. Puppies are hard work, kids are hard work, it’s often not a great fit.

But I understand why people choose to pay for a puppy as it’s so difficult to rescue.

It’s interesting isn’t it, people always insist that we just haven’t looked! That’s why I included those links and I have gone to the trouble of looking at websites posters insist do rehome to families and so on.

Yet time and again MNetters say the same, they can’t rehome. I guess we are all just not looking!

@rainyoutside

I would always advocate the rescue route as I am a huge animal lover but it is up to you

And the inference is that those who don’t rescue are not huge animal lovers, yes?

Here is what Staffie Smiles Rescue says on their website:

• Please note:

Due to the high volume of adoption applications we are receiving at the moment, we will be prioritising applications that suit our dogs needs 1st. These include pet and child free applications with bullbreed experience.

We only re-home or dogs in Scotland.
We are not able to re-home any of our dogs to homes that have children under the age of 3 yrs.
We do not re-home our dogs to homes that have un-neutered pets unless there is a genuine medical reason for this.
Or waiting list for dogs that are cat friendly is now closed as we now have lots of homes waiting.*

Sounds totally suitable, I don’t understand why anybody couldn’t go there. Unless they have a cat, have never owned a bull breed or don’t live in Scotland.

^^And the inference is that those who don’t rescue are not huge animal lovers, yes?

No, that’s not what I meant. I was just sharing my experience and offering advice. I thought that was what you wanted.

Oh right. They were abit more inclusive when I adopted from them two years ago. The only restriction I remember what the children must be over three bit. I know lots of rescues were overwhelmed with applications during lockdown, it sounds like they’ve got more applicants then dogs although I can totally understand why they would want to find each dog the best possible home. You could try some of the Romanian rescues if you wanted, heard good things about them.

There are brilliant small rescues operating of course - we have one by us - but because they’re run on a shoestring and largely by volunteers, it’s often hard to make contact, and even our lovely local rescue is inundated with people when they get dogs that are child-friendly/cat-friendly etc so it’s difficult to get on the list, particularly if you’re a first time owner.

My problem with rehoming is bonding. I've had puppies and had no difficulty. I rehomed a dog that had sadly been turned out of a car on the motorway. She was beautiful, but I just couldn't love her. She lived to a ripe old age, but my feelings were so different to those I had for my puppies.

Hand on heart, of all the dogs I have helped behaviourally, I have seen AS MANY develop problems having been bought as a puppy as those rehomed through a rescue.

There are all sorts of reasons why that could be and I don't judge anyone who buys a puppy instead of rescues - but think they need to be crystal clear that bought puppies can (and do) develop behavioural problems also.

Completely agree OP. The thing that makes me laugh is that, on paper, we should have been the worst candidates for getting a dog. We had a 6 year old, a 3 year old and a 9 month old when we got our puppy. We put a lot of bloody hard work into our girl with training and teaching our kids how to behave with her and two years on we have an absolutely fantastic dog. Two couples who got pups from our breeders litter returned them after 2 months because they "couldn't cope" 🙄
Its unfair that families are written off when I actually know more single people or couples who have given up in pups and/or rescues.

YABU. For many people it might make more sense to buy a puppy, but not for most. While the big rescues tend to make unreasonable demands, many smaller charities don't, and that's a fact. Your sample of one charity, OP, is not very helpful.
There are countless homeless dogs out there who are perfectly suited to families with young-ish children or people who are not at home 24/7.
The rescue centre mentioned in the OP might well be brilliant (I've not looked at the link), but simply not have suitable dogs for a family with children at the moment. They're honest with their descriptions, which is a good thing.
Another thing to bear in mind is the huge number of puppies coming from puppy farms - the parents are kept under inhumane conditions, and under the current circumstances, good breeders aren't able to keep up with the demand for puppies.

Yes, YABU. It's sad that the majority of adults care more about the thrill of getting a dog than stopping an industry that perpetually exploits them. If no dogs are available to you it is probably because your home is not a suitable environment for a dog, and sense would conclude that it is then best to simply not get a dog. But our society really doesn't care about animals so I'm sure most people will concur with you

I'm torn on this
I think it is definitely more ethical to adopt but it does seem there are a lot of barriers for first time owners and surely everyone is a first timer once.

We don't have a cat, we do have a garden and DH is now permanently wfh but our DS is top end of primary and DD secondary age. It's DD who really really wants a dog so I don't want to wait for DS to be older as she will then miss out. I think he'd be absolutely fine with a dog but many rescues don't agree.

Many also stipulate 'experienced dog owner' even of the particular breed which is surely narrowing it a lot and others want a quiet home or the country which ours is not. They make it sound like it will be a full time therapy job with these dogs.

The picture you get is that the only suitable dog adopters are a rich, retired couple living on a country estate who have always owned dogs.

We just want a nice friendly companion animal who likes walks and cuddles and we are prepared to spend money and put in effort but not for the dog to be the whole focus of our lives.

You also get told a lot to try to choose the right breed but in a rescue you have to take what you can get I guess. I don't imagine it's very easy to rescue a lab or a golden retriever vs a staffie or a greyhound.

OTOH many people I know have rescued dogs whilst living in normal suburban family homes with kids. Our dog growing up was a Heinz 57 rescue mutt. We had no huge issues and she had a happy life.
My recollection is that we just went to the dogs home, picked her out and went home with her but maybe it's wasn't actually like that and vetting had gone on behind the scenes.

It does seem frankly easier to get a puppy these days which just perpetuates the problems

Just because there’s one in your area doesn’t mean there’s one in every area, @jackieloveswine! It’s very rude to assume people haven’t looked.
Staffies were not on my list because I live in an area where lots of Staffies have been bred to fight and been abused before being dumped at the home and I couldn’t take a potentially aggressive dog to work as there’s already an office dog.
Greyhounds weren’t on the list because DH is a runner and greyhounds are bursts of energy dogs rather than joggers. We ended up with a spaniel that will run beside you (or rather, around and around you and in zigzags and under your feet if you’re not careful!) for miles. The rescues nearby are filled with staffies with aggression problems and greyhounds with no recall.

Just wanted to add that puppies are hard work! I have rehomed two adult dogs in the past and they were already house trained, etc. In my experience, adopting was way easier than getting a puppy. Not all rescue dogs have problems, I previously volunteered for a cat rescue and most are there because the owners circumstances have changed so they can no longer look after the cat. I imagine it’s a similar story for the poor doggies.

I have rehomed two dogs from a rescue centre, one when I was 7 months pregnant and one when that baby was just over a year old and 6 months pregnant with my 2nd DC.

So yes there are rehoming centres which will rehome with children - young or otherwise. It really depends.

Btw one of these dogs was a puppy of 6 mths.

So I do think you have a point to say rescues are more difficult to place and you can basically buy a puppy of the Internet so yes, puppy’s are easier to get hold of, however no matter how you dress it up, to buy a dog you are buying into the trade which includes terrible treatment and neglect at the extreme end.
It’s up to you - even though your breeder might not be puppy farming doesn’t mean they aren’t part of the overall problem.

Dogs Trust definitely rehome to families with small children. My children were 2 and 3 months when we adopted.

Greyhounds are not huge at all. They fit in a standard size car. Our greyhound never once looked at a cat. He just wasn't interested.

Adopting was never an option for us. We wanted a puppy so we weren't potentially taking on a dog with issues from its former life. A rescue puppy could also be from a farm and have issues, it's just not somthing we were prepared to take on. The dog had to be a hypoallergenic breed as well. We didn't have kids but planned to have some in the near future, so dh wanted a dog that he had raised.

Rescues aren't suitable for everyone. People on mn need to be more honest about that. I shudder when I hear people with kids adopting Romanian street dogs. There is a good reason UK adoption centres don't like to rehome with kids. If you don't know the dogs history, you don't know how it may react.

YANBU. We don;t have a dog, but if we were buying one i'd want a puppy from a reputable breeder.

Not an older dog which might have all manner of behavioural issues.