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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Having a baby in your room after 6 months?

144 replies

Pumpkinx3x · 25/10/2020 14:12

Hello,

So my baby girl will be 6 months at the end of nov. Her nursery is set up and everything but I’m starting to not want her to go in?

The room gets pretty cold in winter, putting the heating up makes partner and my room too hot so there’s no balance.

But also she’s exclusively breastfed. Obviously she will be weaning at 6 months but in the night I’m the one to feed her meaning I’ll be the one up every night. She refuses bottles and even if she would magically take them having to go sterilise the bottles, heat them up in water etc compared to just putting her on the boob. So yeah maybe I’m just being lazy...

Partner wants her in her room at 6 months but obviously understands where I come from.

Question 1; have you waited past 6 months to move over?
Question 2; how do they sleep in your room? Next to me cots last till 6 months and we have a cot bed which won’t fit anywhere in our room?

Thanks

OP posts:
SarahAndQuack · 25/10/2020 21:39

DD is three and a half and when she was 1 we finally moved house to somewhere she could have her in her own room, and couldn't get her in there fast enough. Nowadays we have to admit it's often lovely when she comes out of her bedroom to snuggle up with us!

I think it's clear from this thread that you don't have to see putting her in her 'own' room as a line in the sand. She'll come back in and snuggle with you for years.

If you have space, can you try putting her in her cot in her room, but bringing a moses basket into yours, so if she cries in the night you can just bring her back again? That way it's very low stakes but you get an hour or two of time to yourselves, which might feel nice?

user1473878824 · 25/10/2020 21:40

I think you should do whatever works best for you! But also can you not turn the radiator down in your room so her room is warmer and yours isn’t? Our bedroom is the smallest in the flat and I have our radiator right down or it’s like a sauna while the living room is comfortable.

soundsfishie · 25/10/2020 21:41

Urgh, my youngest left when she was 7 Grin

The rest of them all slept in a crib then cotbed in my room until they were about 12 months.

wendz86 · 25/10/2020 21:42

One of mine went in own room at 8 months, other was over 1 as she wasn't a good sleeper(still isn't great) and was going to be sharing a room with her sister and didn't want to wake her. Her sister sleeps through most things so wasn't really an issue in the end.

Airyfairymarybeary · 25/10/2020 21:42

Keep baby in your room and put dh in the nursery, deadly serious.
Mine stayed with me until at least a year, I had a co sleeper cot. Everyone gets a lot more sleep and you didn’t have to get up and down all night to see to the baby.
Follow your instincts.

amymel2016 · 25/10/2020 21:42

DS1 was in our room until 2 years and slept either in a cot or in our bed. DS2 is 5 months and will be in with us for another couple of months, hoping to move him out after Christmas.

I absolutely love co-sleeping and my husband was happy to also do so. I’ve got friends whose babies were in their own room before 6 months so totally up to you and how you feel.

Megan2018 · 25/10/2020 21:45

DD is 13 months and still in my room, but it’s a large room and she’s in a full sized cotbed. I don’t feel ready for her to move so she hasn’t (still BF and wakes frequently).
DH sleeps in his own room so it doesn’t impact on him-we don’t share a bedroom ever, nothing to do with DD.

Busymum45 · 25/10/2020 21:49

Gosh mine went in their own rooms at 7/ 8 weeks !

partofyoupoursoutofme · 25/10/2020 21:52

DS moved at 6 months and I spent months sleeping on a pull out bed in his room. DD has just moved at 9 months and I go in to feed her a few times a night and sleep so much better in my room without hearing her every move. We are currently night weaning her and I wouldn't be able to do it if she was in the same room.
A friend moved both of hers at 5 weeks, it worked for her. Do whatever you feel is right for you and your baby.

SylvanianFrenemies · 25/10/2020 21:53

We had DD1 in until about 3y. She was breastfed til 2.5y, and coslept a lot. Later just on her toddler bed.

Trackandtrace · 25/10/2020 21:55

Mine slept in our room till 3ish yrs old. Breast fed and easier all round. Cot next to bed and then matress on floor when they got bigger.

EasterIssland · 25/10/2020 21:55

@Busymum45

Gosh mine went in their own rooms at 7/ 8 weeks !
When was this? Nowadays it’s recommended to keep the babies in the room TIL at least 6m to avoid death during sleep
Lisa78Lemon · 25/10/2020 21:56

I didn't feel ready at 6 months at all, he felt too young. He's 11mo now and I feel just about ready but he wakes often and I co-sleep and BF so feel its going to be a hard transition. No plans to move him just yet...
He starts the night in his cot beside us but is always in our bed by about 1am

SarahAndQuack · 25/10/2020 21:57

@Busymum45

Gosh mine went in their own rooms at 7/ 8 weeks !
My mum did this too! In fact I think it was earlier, even. It's very generational. She tells me you were told to sit in a chair to breastfeed, in the newborn's bedroom, so you didn't 'disturb' your husband in the marital bed. So she'd fall asleep there. Which is, of course, one of the reasons for the subsequent big campaigns to prevent deaths in early infancy. Sad
Baaaahhhhh · 25/10/2020 21:59

Both mine went into their own room very early. Weeks rather than months, and neither has ever spent a whole night in my bed. An hour or so for a cuddle if needed, but never more. Very old fashioned I know, but we all love our own space and are much more relaxed sleeping alone.

cactusdog · 25/10/2020 21:59

DS1 one went in about 11/12 months but I regret that as I was in abs out of his room for about another year!
DS2 is 9 months and still in with us.
We have a super king so both slept in with us.
Both exclusively bf too.

Do whatever feels right OP. It's such a short time in hindsight and over so soon, they are only little once.

ShinyGreenElephant · 25/10/2020 22:05

Guidance is to share a room for a year but I know space is an issue for lots of people, it was for us. I had my girls in my bed from about 7m when they grew out of the next2me as the cot wouldn't have fit. DD1 went in her own room at about 10m when she was consistently sleeping through (10 years ago so safe sleep guidance was different) and DD2 went into her own room once she turned one. For the first 6 months or so after that she came in with us for the 2nd half of the night once she woke so we all got more sleep but shes now night weaned and sleeping through in her own room. Took a while as we did it very gently at her pace with no tears but shes happily in her own bed sleeping through before her baby sister has been born which was always my aim. We plan to do the same with DD3 but who knows really with babies, she might have her own ideas!

Slightlybrwnbanana · 25/10/2020 22:09

Dc1 moved to his own room at about ten months. I spent a lot of time lying on the floor next to his cot, wish I hadn't bothered!
Dc2 I put the cot next to our bed, there wasn't room for it at all but it made life easier. Dc2 usually slept in our bed and stayed there till he was about 4, so you might not want to copy that!

Ilovechocolatetoomuch · 25/10/2020 22:09

Buy a second hand crib or a travel cot and keep her with you as long as you want.
I have 2 dc my first was in his own room at 9 weeks as he grew out of the crib. My second stayed right next to me in his crib till he was 9 months and I was ready.
They are little for such a short while so I would do whatever works best for you.

Fink · 25/10/2020 22:17

MIL convinced me to move first baby to her own room as she wasn't sleeping through and MIL was sure she would sleep better without us there. Never again. I spent months going back and forth. Much worse sleep than when she was right next to me and we could have a quick feed then go back to sleep. Because if she's in her own room then someone has to get up and go to her. Which means getting out in the cold night and definitely fully waking up, none of the plesant feeding or soothing while in bed. Never again. I did not fall for that terrible advice a second time.

Missmonkeypenny · 25/10/2020 22:28

DD was in with me til 18m due to being in a 1 bed and then went into her own room with no issue. She's 6 now and sleeps 12hrs a night just like she has since 18m
DD is in with us at 10m with no plans to move him. Hes ebf and wakes twice for a feed, so its just more convenient to have him next to me. He outgrew his next to me so we made a bigger one with a cotbed which we levelled with our mattress Smile he sleeps well, as do we, and I really like having him close. DH works shifts and will sleep in DS's room on a double mattress we put in there if he's getting in at 2am

WaxOnFeckOff · 25/10/2020 22:42

Both of mine were in a cot in our room until about a year. Both were summer babies and I didn't want to move them until spring. There are only 13 months between mine so DS1 moved at about 11 months to let him get used to it and not feel pushed out by the new baby. DS2 slept in a crib with us but outgrew that at about 4 months, Ds1 got a toddler bed then and the cot came back in with us. They both were good sleepers but we only had 2 bedrooms so we put off moving DS2 in with Ds1. We moved just after ds2s first birthday and he moved straight into his own room then.

You need to do what works for you.

reluctantbrit · 25/10/2020 22:53

@EasterIssland I honestly wouldn't know what I would do if DD was born now. I already suffered from PND, sleep disruption and misplaced guilt but having her next to me meant I even slept less. DD was never and still isn't a quite sleeper, last year I shared a bed with her on a city break and I could have strangled her for playing starfish/hugging blankets/being unruly in sleep and being very noisy. Nothing changed in the last 13 years.

I think I would have moved out and slept in thde guest bedroom and left DD with DH.

I do understand SIDS but I also think that mother's health and mental well being is also important.

Lazypuppy · 25/10/2020 23:00

Both mine went into their own room very early. Weeks rather than months, and neither has ever spent a whole night in my bed. An hour or so for a cuddle if needed, but never more. Very old fashioned I know, but we all love our own space and are much more relaxed sleeping alone.

I was 100% the same!once DD was down to 1 or 2 night feeds at aboit 9 weeks we moved her into her room, she was such a noisy sleeper and woke with any noise we make, no one was getting any sleep. She's now 2.5yo and loves being in her room.

She has never spent a night in our bed, i could never sleep with her in the bed, and i'd worry about her wandering around in the night by herself

TotorosFurryBehind · 25/10/2020 23:04

Mine is still co sleeping and breastfeeding at 17 months. This was not my intention but just kind of happened. There are so many things we are told we should do as mothers and I think some of them are nonsense, do what feels right for you and your child.