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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Having a baby in your room after 6 months?

144 replies

Pumpkinx3x · 25/10/2020 14:12

Hello,

So my baby girl will be 6 months at the end of nov. Her nursery is set up and everything but I’m starting to not want her to go in?

The room gets pretty cold in winter, putting the heating up makes partner and my room too hot so there’s no balance.

But also she’s exclusively breastfed. Obviously she will be weaning at 6 months but in the night I’m the one to feed her meaning I’ll be the one up every night. She refuses bottles and even if she would magically take them having to go sterilise the bottles, heat them up in water etc compared to just putting her on the boob. So yeah maybe I’m just being lazy...

Partner wants her in her room at 6 months but obviously understands where I come from.

Question 1; have you waited past 6 months to move over?
Question 2; how do they sleep in your room? Next to me cots last till 6 months and we have a cot bed which won’t fit anywhere in our room?

Thanks

OP posts:
thecakebadge · 25/10/2020 14:40

If you’re the one up doing the night feeds I think it’s up to you how long she stays in your room. Partner is welcome to set up camp in another room if he wants!

Thesearmsofmine · 25/10/2020 14:44

Keep her in with you if that’s what makes it easier. Two of mine were in with me way past 6 months. Our Next 2 Me crib lasted until around 8 months old.

BoudicasBoudoir · 25/10/2020 14:44

Our girl was in our room in her cot until she was nearly two. She still woke in the night for milk until then, and it was just easier to manage. Once she reliably slept through, we moved her.

Todaytomorrow09 · 25/10/2020 14:45

My first was a poor sleeper(bottle fed) (age 17 still is a bad sleeper!) she didn’t move into her own room till she was around 18 months old and she just never stayed asleep, but we just ended co-sleeping (well she slept I didn’t) so she moved back in with a cot bed until she was nearly 3 and started to slept a lot better! I was working full time as well so it meant at least I had some sleep!

My younger one was breast feed but having been stung by the older one she moved out when she was 6 months old - she slept quite well except for the teething/poorly wake ups!

Each baby is unique and do what works for you :)

Anurulz · 25/10/2020 14:48

Do what's working best for you sleepwise and energywise..mine is 14 months in his own cot in our room. He outgrew his next2me when around 10 months and moved to his cot. But he still wakes up atleast once at night for a feed or to be brought into our bed so that he snuggles and goes back to sleep.. till he sleeps through the night and is comfortable in his own bed, am honestly not thinking of moving him into the nursery. That is now his play area and he makes full use of it by jumping and running all over lol..

Spinakker · 25/10/2020 14:48

My son is 2 and still in our room! And bed! I've just weaned him off night feeds. I co slept and breast fed up until now. My DH slept in our other son's room partly due to this but also because he works night shifts sometimes or gets up very early on other shifts. It just worked out easier this way for us so we all got as much sleep as possible. I hope to move my son into his own room but have the same problem that it's a cold room. It's also a box room so I don't know if he'll really like going there after having the freedom of a superking matress on the ground for 2 years! I probably will sort it out for him though. He's my 3rd child so I've just kind off savoured this time with him. Knowing that it lasts for such a short time relatively. Once he's in his own room that will be it forever!... and my DH can return to our room!
Someone told me you can get a small heater which has like one bar which heats up for these kind of rooms. Maybe that's worth looking into. You'd obviously have to make sure it was very safe. Good luck x

PolarBearStrength · 25/10/2020 14:48

DS was in with us until 12 months. We waited until he was sleeping through the night fairly reliably and had been a few months. Tried a few times before then and it didn’t improve his sleep and just meant I ended up having to properly wake up, traipse upstairs, settle him etc. Plus he’s in the attic (we only have two bedrooms and one is a loft conversation) and I was worried about temperature control etc too.

marmite79 · 25/10/2020 14:50

When I had my son I lived in a 1 bed house and he slept in my room until age 3! Dd was older than 6 months too. 9 and 5 now and no issues! Do what you think is best!

sunflowershine · 25/10/2020 14:51

Both of mine went in their own rooms at nine months but they were bottle fed and pretty much sleeping through by then. I only moved them because they were naughty babies and were starting to sit/pull up to standing in the next to me and I was worried they'd manage it fall out.

Move them when you want and when it works for you. It's a minimum of six months, not a maximum.

Changechangychange · 25/10/2020 14:51

We were in a one bedroom flat until DS was 18 mo, so he was in with us out of necessity. He was in a normal cot at the end of our bed, though he did come in with us overnight from time to time.

MRex · 25/10/2020 14:52

Mattress on the floor in our room, because you can't fall off the floor. Do whatever gets everyone the most sleep, including you. Babies like a cooler room in general, emotionally you may feel she needs the extra cuddles from being in your room and that's fine, babies become big kids who don't need their parents as much soon enough.

To warm up her room; turn down your bedroom radiator (and living room etc), turn up the radiator in that room, leave the door open for warm air to circulate and get any drafts fixed. If you aren't getting enough heat that way then replace the radiator with one with higher BTU, look up a BTU calculator to get the correct size. It's a simple plumber job to swap out once you've ordered the radiator and will make the world of difference.

Wanttolearnmore · 25/10/2020 14:53

My DS went into his own room at about 8 months I think, and he was in a next2me until then, he still fit as he was small for his age and couldn't pull up or crawl or anything like that. DD will stay in with us until she sleeps through as she will be sharing with her brother and I don't want him to be disturbed , she still wakes at least twice a night atm. I also can't be bothered with going to a different room when I can breastfeed in bed.
If you haven't got room for the cot in your room can you move a piece of your bedroom furniture into the nursery for a while to make some space? And yes the nursery as a dressing room for a while. Also if she is small and not an early crawler or anything so she could climb out, you can keep her in the next2me for longer. You don't have to do it dead on 6 months, I think that is the minimum period of time for reduction of SIDS risk rather an instruction.

Boringnamechanging · 25/10/2020 14:54

Ds went into his own room at 7 months as family visited and stayed in his room just before.

Dd was over a year as we live in a 2 bed and we waited until she was sleeping better so didn't wake ds. We had a chicco zip and go in our room.

JuniLoolaPalooza · 25/10/2020 14:54

I coslept with both of mine, then moved them to a floorbed in their own rooms. Started the night in my own bed then went in to feed them and either slept with them, as it's a double, or went back to my own bed.

rottiemum88 · 25/10/2020 14:55

Our plan was always to move DS into his own room at 6 months, but he was BF and it was just never going to work out practically with all the night wakings.

When he outgrew his next to me crib we began to co sleep and have done ever since; he’s now coming up to 2 in January and we’ve got no firm plans to transition him yet.

Our current thinking is actually that we’ll buy a double bed for his room which will be easier for him to get used to after co sleeping with us and if he needs it in the night we have the option of getting in with him and going back to sleep rather than him coming back in to the main bed.

smilingthroughgrittedteeth · 25/10/2020 14:56

1st was in with me till 2.5yrs (he co slept)
2nd was in with me till 11mths
3rd was in with me till 18mths

lboogy · 25/10/2020 14:58

I had a snuzpod which dc grew out of around 7 months, its the only reason I moved them next door. It was very emotional knowing D.C. wasn't next to me, I couldn't sleep for a few nights and kept getting up to check on them. After a while i realised how silly that was.

bumbledeedum · 25/10/2020 14:59

I wasn't ready and neither was DS at 6 months, he's a contact sleeper so bring the cot into our room didn't achieve much either. He's still in our bed now at 20 months and makes his still regular night feeds a lot easier. Lots of comments (especially from the grandmothers) that he should be in his own room and bed and not feeding at night but it's what works for us and we all get more sleep. On the other hand I have friends with babies that have settled much better in their own rooms. Do whatever works for you, there's no magic switch at 6 months.

bumbledeedum · 25/10/2020 15:00

@rottiemum88

Our plan was always to move DS into his own room at 6 months, but he was BF and it was just never going to work out practically with all the night wakings.

When he outgrew his next to me crib we began to co sleep and have done ever since; he’s now coming up to 2 in January and we’ve got no firm plans to transition him yet.

Our current thinking is actually that we’ll buy a double bed for his room which will be easier for him to get used to after co sleeping with us and if he needs it in the night we have the option of getting in with him and going back to sleep rather than him coming back in to the main bed.

This is exactly what happened with us and exactly what we've talked about doing with a double bed in his room - makes so much sense!
SnuggyBuggy · 25/10/2020 15:00

I didn't move mine until she started sleeping through and I was disturbing her going to bed, didn't see the point in getting up in the night if I could avoid it.

MaryShelley1818 · 25/10/2020 15:02

DS is still in our bedroom (bed!) And is 3 in December. We've coslept since day 1 and are all just happier this way. He's an excellent sleeper and we all sleep.
I am worried as I'm pregnant and due to give birth in January. We have a next to me ready for new baby but obviously don't want DS to become unsettled and feel pushed out by his sisters arrival.

Plan so far is for me to take DS to bed at 7.30 (we have a day bed in his room) read his story and snuggle to sleep for 3-4hrs. Then DH will bring DD up after giving her a bottle at 11.30ish and I'll go in our bedroom with her (to feed during the night) and DH will take my place with DS in his room and hopefully get 6hrs of unbroken sleep before work.

AldiAisleofCrap · 25/10/2020 15:02

Normal cot until 18 months to 2 years with all of mine. Don’t understand the rush to put babies in their own rooms unless you can’t fit a space saving cot.

AliasGrape · 25/10/2020 15:04

My little one is not quite 3 months. We didn’t manage to get a nursery sorted before she was born - we only have a 2 bed house and were in the middle of renovating downstairs (with plan to then sort the bedrooms) when lockdown happened, and now he’s working from home for the foreseeable so the second bedroom is full of his equipment and stuff.

So yeah looks like dd will be in with us well past 6 months at this rate. I’m happy about it actually - it’s the age when it’s considered safer for them to move into their own room but it’s not a deadline that we have to kick them out by! I’m reading ‘The Gentle Sleep Book’ at the moment and it’s interesting to read that the biological norm is for young children to sleep near their parents, and it’s still the norm in many countries/cultures. That’s helped me to feel better about it actually, I was feeling pressure to be ready by a certain point but we’ll just take it easy.

RoomontheDressingGownofBroom · 25/10/2020 15:08

3 year old has been sleeping in my bed since day dot. We get far more sleep this way than up and down and musical beds. Lots of parents share their bed with their children for years. Just do whatever you feel is best.

BigSisLittleSisCardboardBox · 25/10/2020 15:10

DC 1 went into their own room at 5 months. DC2 went at 7 months. DC3 is still with us at 2 years old! She was ebf until 6 months and I night weaned her at around 7 months and she’s slept through since. Don’t think I could have coped with the older two in our room for so long but she’s been fine. I’ll miss her when we move her out (we do have a fourth bedroom to put her in but would involve everyone rejigging a bit so we just haven’t done it yet). She stirs in the night when we go to bed and she has a little sleepy chat with us and in the morning it’s lovely hearing whatever she says first thing —even if it is too early—